Dumbledore fixes his robes as the floor manager counts down from five… four… three… two…
“Welcome to the premier of WWT’s Hogwarts Theatre. I am your host, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore,” said the distinguished Headmaster. “This week, I am proud to present you a special treat. As I’m sure you have recently heard, our students at Hogwarts have decided to adopt several Muggle traditions in order to further expand upon their education, therefore they have taken their creative interests towards the world of the cinema, as they call it. I have the distinct pleasure of presenting to you this special feature. It is a story about those who are believed to be meek, and stand up when people need them the most. It is reflective of the intrigue, mystery and survival qualities - all qualities possessed by a true Gryffindor. Without further interruption, Hogwarts Theatre is proud to begin our version of “Ron of the Dead.”
[FADE TO BLACK]
[CUE OPENING CREDITS]
Ron of the Dead
A Marauders of the Quill Production
Ron Weasley as “The Hero” Hermione Granger as “The Heroine” Harry Potter as “Mate” Fred & George Weasley as “Gred and Forge” Ginny Weasley as “The Queen of Curses” Neville Longbottom as “The Scared Kid” and Tom Riddle as “The Bad Guy”
Draco Malfoy Pansy Parkinson Cho Chang Michael Corner Dolores Umbridge Rubeus Hagrid Severus Snape Peter Pettigrew and Percy Weasley
SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE BY: Hedwig Dobby the house-elf and other SURPRISE SPECIAL GUESTS!
AN: Do not focus your monitor... this is a weird and crazy story! It is generated from the minds of two escaped lunatics who thought that the Harry Potter world should explore other facets of entertainment, and yet stll come out looking as if they are the only normal people around. We hope that you enjoy the many hidden and direct references to many enjoyable parodies.
Many thanks must go to two special people. First our beta, Katie, for taking the plunge into our sick heads and coming up from the depths of darkness still laughing. And to our muse Meghan, whose own sick style of laughter carried us through this fabled and twisted journey through Hogwarts.
One last warning - as the episodes progress, this story will become quite addicting in nature. Don't worry, it's not illegal. It's just "Ron of the Dead."