All Dressed Up (or, How Ron Rediscovered the Urgent Need for Mrs Skower's Magical Mess Remover)
Author's Notes: Written for the Halloween challenge at hpgw_otp on Livejournal, which asked for a short H/G fic (500-2000 words) beginning with the words It was a dark and stormy night, set during the time period after Harry and Ginny leave Hogwarts and before they are married. Once again, Ron saw my original idea, decided it was rubbish, and took over.
Many thanks to ladywhizbee, mollywheezy, ohginnyfan and sherylyn for their mad betaing skilz.
It was a dark and stormy night.
Sounds like a cliché, doesn't it? Like something out of those wizarding bodice-ripping novels that Hermione and Ginny like to read but pretend they don't. Not that I'd ever tell Hermione I think it's maybe a little skeevy that she reads those kinds of books.
What? I may be thick, but I'm not a total idiot.
Anyway, yeah. It was a dark and stormy night, and me and Hermione were supposed to be over at Harry and Ginny's flat. Ginny had invited us to dinner, saying that she thought Harry might want to spend the evening with his family, given what happened in 1981. But about ten minutes before we were supposed to go over there, we got an owl telling us not to come.
Which, if you know Ginny and Harry, can only mean one thing: they're in trouble. That's just how they are. Harry still has this habit of not letting people help him, and unfortunately, Ginny's obviously been taking lessons, because she's just as bad. I mean, there was this time during the summer when they tried to cancel on us, and we went anyway, and it's a good thing we did, because Harry had the worst case of Dragon Pox I'd ever seen, and neither of them had wanted to ask for help. Stubborn gits, the both of them.
See, the thing is, Harry gets a bit…tetchy this time of year, or at least he used to. I mean, it makes sense (or so Hermione tells me), because Halloween is when his parents were murdered. And even though Harry whipped You-know- oh, all right, then. Merlin. Even though he whipped Voldemort's arse a couple of years ago, October would come around and there he would go, getting all depressed and dragging the rest of us down with him.
So we tried to help the best we could. Last year we had to resort to an entire box of WWW products that George sent over just to keep the mood light. The trick wands did wonders for Harry’s spirits, and so did the Canary Creams and the Mischief Mallows. George also sent a Patented Daydream Charm, but I think Ginny snuck off with it before Harry got a chance to use it. There was that half-hour where both of them went missing, but I reckon Ginny was probably convincing him to lighten up a bit. And, you know, helping him figure out how to thank us for everything we'd done. Because the Wheezes definitely did the trick, because Harry was smiling like the Kneazle that had swallowed the proverbial canary when we saw them at breakfast the next day.
Well, this time, when we got their owl cancelling on us again, we immediately ignored it and Apparated over to the alleyway behind their flat. Well, Hermione needed a bit of convincing for some reason, but I was able to convince her that Harry and Ginny were just being noble and trying to prove they didn't need our help. Which is completely mental of them, if you ask me. I mean, what else is family for, if not to help each other out? But that's Harry and Ginny for you, and we've just learnt to ignore them and help them anyway.
One of these days, we're going to learn, Hermione and me. One of these days, when Harry and Ginny cancel on us, we're not going to go. Because this year, Ginny apparently broke the cycle and…erm…sussed out a way to distract him from all the Halloween stuff. I'm not going to share the details with you. I don't know exactly what she did to bring him out of his funk, and to tell the truth, I don't want to know. I know that it involves the two of them and a distinct lack of clothing and that thought just sends images crashing through my brain and makes me need more Mrs Skower's Magical Mess Remover For Brothers Who Know Too Much About Their Sister's Sex Life to try to get those images out of my brain. So I didn't ask, and she didn't tell, and I was okay with that.
Really, really okay with that.
Wait. You want to know what we found when we got to their flat? Mental, that's what you are. Ergh.
Fine then. It's your own fault if you need to go get some Mrs Skower's for yourself. I don't have enough to spare.
They were apparently having their very own personal costume party. You know, just the two of them. We walked all the way up there, in the pouring rain, mind, to find them perfectly fine, dressed in coordinating costumes. Which wouldn't have been a problem, except the costumes showed me more of my sister (and of Harry!) than I've ever wanted to see…more than I ever want to see ever again.
Ginny, not surprisingly, was furious at the interruption. Harry (great prat that he is) looked like he could hardly keep himself from laughing. Hermione and me, we tried everything we could to limit the damage to our brains and keep ourselves from seeing any more of their skin. Just a glimpse was more than enough, you know?
Although I reckon I shouldn't complain too much. Hermione and me… well, we know a good idea when we see one. That dark and stormy night got rather interesting around our place that Halloween, too.