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Story of the Week: You Know Who's On First By Iniga  Image of the Week: Quidditch victory By AgiVega  

Reviews For Timeslip by Zahri Seb Melitor

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Tuesday 1st June 2004 10:16

1st year
Num. of Reviews: 24

Prologue: Paranoid Old Auror
Finally I've got a chance to sit down and review properly.

Love this! And I'm definitely looking forward to reading more of it when it comes along. Very neat idea, and I have a feeling you're not going to make the time travel bit lapse into ridiculousness.

Mad-Eye's driving is great. Of course he'd take all the tije in the world to do it, so long as it meant you weren't being followed. And this bit:
He had called a halt to the match three times because of an apparent threat: a helicopter passing; a flock of pigeons flying overhead; and the last time because the shadows were getting too long. Tonks had whacked Moody with her broom when she found out that they had been called in a third time for no reason other than Moody simply being grumpy because he saw the Quidditch match as a breach of vigilance.

Hee. I like that. It's things like that, your use of funny little asides and details that makes your writing stand out.

Logically, she was aware that she would not get into major trouble for something that was simply the fault of Moody's overzealous safety precautions. However, the irrational worry still remained, the product of years of looking out for Harry when he was getting into trouble, and she would really rather not have to explain the situation to Professor McGonagall.

Once a worrier, always a worrier. And logic most definitely does not play a role in there. You've hit Hermione spot on with that.

Ron, Hermione, Harry and Ginny, more or less together, bellowed "CONSTANT VIGILANCE" right back at Moody. Ron folded his arms while doing so and tried to look terrifying, staring at random people on the station with a menacing expression. Hermione, when she glanced at him, couldn't help herself from giggling helplessly. Ron looked over at her and winked.

I love Ron attempting to be menacing, and Hermione's look? Aw. Cute.

Wonderful start to your story, my dear, and I know you've done some nice and proper research into this, and that will definitely help. Looking forward to the next update when you have time.
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