I like the way you are developing Lily and James relationship gradually, I like the fact that it is more of a natural progression rather than one minute they hate each other then the next they love each other. It's much more believable how you have written it. Great action with the attack on the train, love it!
The attack was interesting. I like the lead in to the attack being a low level sound to begin with and then increasing until James decided to investigate.
The by-play between the boys and Lily was good. I like the fact that Remus and Sirius were in the car because "Dumbledore told them too." Leave it to Dumbledore to set up James and Lily so that they have to spend more time together because they are head boy and girl! I can see his eyes twinkling now! I like the way James and Lily worked together to increase the wards. I look forward to more of this story. Thanks for writing. p
Excellent, if short chapter. I'm just now getting around to reading past the first!
One issue, however... When Lily says, "The way this train is moving, our attackers are getting closer." I was under the impression that the train had stopped. (Suddenly, the train began to rock and came to a grinding, jarring stop.)
So which is it? Perhaps you meant to comment on the way the train was 'rocking'? That would make much more sense, but I don't know for sure.
Whoa! Action packed! I had considered having an attack on the Hogwarts Express way back in 'In Memoriam', but I confess, I couldn't think of how such an attack would happen, and what it would be like, so I dropped the idea. You've handled the matter marvelously here, it's suspenseful and intense, like something you'd see in a James Bond film. I like the humerous undertones as well, and I'm intrigued by Remus lyrcanthropy giving him heightened senses (I'm assuming that's why the noise was bothering him so much?). Until next chapter,
Lady Chi Sunday 27th June 2004 21:50
Chapter 2 (Author Response)
As usual, very insightful, Joe. Yes, Remus' lyncanthropy was making it very difficult for him to deal with such a high-pitched noise. If I were you, I'd keep that in mind. As for the James Bond thing, I'm sure you'd be amused to know that the theme from "Mission: Impossible" was playing in the back of my mind as I wrote the scene.
Thanks for the compliments. Coming from you, they mean ever so much.
Did you not think we would miss you?? Of course we would.
It's getting to the point that I only read H/G and J/L fics, so this is more than welcome to become a new fave.
I do like the new chapter and was excited to see you had updated!
Lady Chi Sunday 27th June 2004 02:52
Chapter 2 (Author Response)
Honestly, I wasn't entirely sure anyone knew I'd been missing for a while. I'm really excited to see you again!! I'm looking forward to hearing from you in later chapters! Thanks for the review. I really appreciate it.
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