lol. i love this story!!! it is so cute and sweet!!!
This idea gave the dark professor a sudden thought. With what he knew of Harry, it was fairly likely that Harry would get fed up with the stupidity of the Ministry sooner of later, and would make moves to get himself elected, so he could take care of it. It might be an idea if he started to cultivate a friendship with the boy, or at least see if he could stand him at close range. After all, it never hurt to have friends in high places, and if one thing had happened over the summer, it had been the proof that Harry was not James Potter.
Your stories are inventive and funny. I always enjoy the characterizations and jokes, but there are some typos and grammatical mistakes that disrupt the story's flow sometimes. Perhaps an extra person editing for flow and grammar would be an asset. Thanks!
*Note to Jaq-Iím sorry I didnít include you in the first chapter review, please know those thoughts are directed to you as well.
The romp continues! Part two is just as cute, and you add in even more back-story, providing exposition on the whys and hows of Harryís (elemental) power. Weíve already seen fire- will he display the others?
Our boy also continues to work fast. Within moments Harry is flirting with Tonks, and getting another reaction worth blackmail material.
Leave it to Sev to laugh over an interrogation. The change from the horror he felt in the hall to his acceptance of Harry as almost friend is quick, but I can accept that Sevís whole life has changed recently. He doesnít have to play evil anymore. And letís face it- this Harry is a charming buggar.
Strangely enough, my favorite line in this installment was
ďThe morning started bright and early, which, coincidentally, were the two main things Harry had against mornings.Ē
(This has a Douglas Adams feel to me.) That pretty much sums me up every day- without the trans continental fire elemental apparating jetlag. Say that five times fast.
This is a very sweet scene between Harry and the younger students. I like that heís relaxed, open, and itís not all just flirtatious bravado. Iím also pleased that slytherins arenít all treated as sinners to the gryffsí saints. Iím not sure Harry needed the ďbig finishĒ though. I canít imagine anyone not listening to this version of Harry.
The idea of elemental travel is interesting, why would fire work rather than air? Is it a distance thing?
Tim, a scene between DD and Harry referencing the abyss? Your Freudian slip is showing.
I always love a Forge scene, and the quartet of pranksters in the shop was a nice touch. I can picture Dumbledore stopping in when he needs a new laugh. And Harry announces his intentions towards Ginny! Not only to the twins but Molly as well. Nice to see him maneuver Albus out of the room for both conversations.
Poor Ginny has to deal with Lav and Pav moving in on her true love-and still hasnít broken up with Dean. I canít wait to see Harryís reaction to the nightgown. It sounds exquisite. Doesnít look like sheíll need it though. Aww. Harry thinks sheís gorgeous. Now if we can just get him to tell her . . .
In TMW, I mentioned you use enlightened self- interest in Sevís relationship to Harry. You seem to echo this here, but in a more calculating way. Similar ideas, but very different feels. Maybe itís the level of humor used or that Harry didnít personally save Sev in this story. This time it feels more premeditated.
I really enjoyed this installment, but I had hoped for more direct Harry Ginny interaction. I canít wait until Dean is history.
One again, I really enjoyed myself reading your work. Only one more part to go, I canít wait. Now Iíll have to read some more of Jaqís work. Iíll be curious to see how the styles differ. Excellent spelling and grammar, so once again thanks to your betas- please keep writing.
I look forward to reading the third part of this story, and then the second and third parts of the trilogy it will be part of. This is fun. Harry's nearly perfect in this story, which worries me a bit, but it is a fun read.
This is another extremely fun chapter, but then, all your chapters are fun. The notion of Harry and Dumbledore off galavanting during class time is brilliant and makes for a great story line. I especially enjoyed McGonagall's reaction to Dumbledore. Arthur and his gadgets is the perfect analogy.
I've just read back through 1-7 of TWM over the last few days and then went through this chapter. A couple of things struck me. The first, is that you always make Harry and Ginny come across as such firm and resolute characters. It's not quite canon, but it's refreshing and it makes for lively stories. Things like the Get-Out-Of-Detention cards are just brilliant touches that kind of approach allows.
I'm also impressed with the parallels between this and TWM (Snape's potential banishment to Siberia and Blais' role came immediately to mind). The contexts are quite different but the plot devices worked just as well in either situation.
Wow... from your description of what this fic is, I expected it would move faster, and sacrafice some character development. This is really good stuff.
The complaints... One thing that bothered me was Harry's talk with the twins about Ginny. He came off sounding a bit "Well, I figured I should get myself a girlfriend, and Ginny's nice looking and I don't dislike her, so what the hell?" The conversation with Molly, brief tho it was, played out better -- it sounded more like "this is something I've been wanting to do, and now I will as soon as I get my chance." Next, I think Snape (who started out happy Harry was still missing) turned around too quickly. Also, while this is fluff, and I doubt you want to deal much with Harry's resentment of Dumbledore, their interaction here seems to go too far in the other direction.
All that said, this is an incredibly fun read. I noticed all those things while reading, and putting them in the review sounds very negative, but they cannot ruin the fun and humor you manage to put in your characters and situations.
I wait anxiously for the next part of this and, of course, THW!
Thanks for the great work!
Jeconais Monday 26th July 2004 09:58
What have I got to do to make you love me? (Author Response)
Thanks for the review...
What Harry said to Fred and George was aimed at to prankster twins, so isn't quite what he feels, but more of that in part 3 - the final part of this first stroy.
Now, Snape, I do kinda agree with. I'm going to post on my Live Journala deleted scene later that builds up their relationship a lot more than here. I guess I did cut things a little to much.
I write in scenes, then fill in the blanks, so because Jaq persuaded me to dump the scene, I also cut out more of Snape's turn around than was probably a good idea.
This is fluff, and yeah, that's why I didn't deal with Dumbledore properly. I have a fic that I've been talking about for ages called The Darkness, that will address these issures fully - it will be launched when TMW is finished.
Excellent job, as per usual Tim! Loved this chappie, can't wait for you to bring on the H/G!
Also, quick question for you: Why is it you always try to show Snapes "other side" in your fics, but you don't do that with Draco? Just curious!
Jeconais Monday 26th July 2004 07:22
What have I got to do to make you love me? (Author Response)
Not a quick answer
Snape, despite being a comple ++blocked++whit (great, running into my own word filter), does have some redeeming qualities - in that he's a spy and has been for most of his life. It's something I've explored in more detail in TMW! Snape expects to die, so doesn't really care about anything at all - especially not a pretentious bunch to teenagers (as he sees them).
From a writing perspective, it's fun to find a new way bring him around - whether it be by appealing to his self-preservation side here, or by a complete series of actions bringing him around (and that's finished off in TMW8)
Draco, and by the way, I do have him as a good guy in Fifth House, is most of a time just a dick. I don't actually think he's good for anything at all, I don't think he's skilled, powerful, or has anything that would make him a useful ally for Harry.
There is also the fact that I hate D/G a lot, and through that, Draco, that I really can't be bothered to put in the effort to try and redeem him. Much better, as far as I am concenred, to use him as comic relief.