Good story, one point though, near the end of your earlier story there was a major attack on piccadilly circus resulting in hundreds of muggle deaths. Now call me picky but something like that would have made the news channel in every country in the world, would have stepped the security level of britain through the roof and caused immense damage and heartache. And yet in the very first chapter you show all the Londoners going round as if nothing happened, you see this in a lot of stories where they use a major attack on the muggles that cause great loss of life within two minutes everyones forgotten it, maybe you could have mention some damage or ongoing effects. Things like that don't happen in Britain and when they do the effects can last for years.
Quite the action-packed start. Very powerful. So sorry to see Percy go (well, maybe not, after what he did to Harry ; but seriously no one deserves that). Good to see the cerebral has some humanity (or whatever) left in her.
Congratulations! Nice dark story, well paced, rich in content,
carefully written. Way above the average literary level you can find
around here. Thank you for sharing it with us.
As other reviewers have pointed, the development of Harry's psychology
is the strongest point of the story, although other characters may
resent of this.
For what it may be worth, I would like to make a couple of remarks
about my experience as a reader of this very satisfying fanfic. Forgive
me if I dedicate more attention to the little IMO weak spots than to
the overall pleasurable experience that your story has provided me with.
I have to disagree with other reviewers about the Cerebrals. I think their role as Deus Ex Machina within the plot is overused.
Although I like the little quotes at the beginning of every chapter
(alla F. Herbert) I don't think that the musical quality of your
stanzas matches the quality of your narrative skills. Often the
self-imposed rhyming constrains are a burden that thrashes the
rhythmical fluency that I find so rewarding when reading poetry.
Thanks again. There is a lot of effort behind a story like this, many
hours of careful choosing of the right story lines, of the right
wording for every paragraph. We appreciate it in what it is worth.
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