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Reviews For The Knights of Walpurgis by Majick

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Showing 1 to 20 of 20
daniel_r_crazy22
Thursday 11th January 2007 18:10


Hogwarts alumni
Num. of Reviews: 1230

Prolouge
Wow. I like how you did the letters. And why does Harry want to go to the Headquarters? And Ron at Hermione's grandparent's house. Haha. That's funny. Very good start to the story.
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critmo
Wednesday 7th December 2005 04:29


Hogwarts alumni
Num. of Reviews: 685

Prolouge
Promising start, even though the spacing is a bit off which makes it hard to read. - I always feel my guts wrench when Ginny goes off about somebody else than Harry.
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harry'sgurl
Friday 10th June 2005 10:11


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 33

Prolouge
Awesome. ur a good writer
  Quote
Joel
Monday 2nd May 2005 16:52


Prolouge
 Wow this is a really good story!!!
  Quote
MrRobertsIII
Thursday 17th March 2005 06:21


Prolouge
Great start!
Majick
Thursday 17th March 2005 10:44
Prolouge (Author Response)
Thanks!
  Quote
Nundu
Tuesday 8th February 2005 06:25


2nd year
Num. of Reviews: 50

Prolouge

Sorry to be such a nit-picker, but you do realise you have misspelt the title...

It's 'Prologue'

Or was it intentional for a specific reason?

Majick
Thursday 17th March 2005 10:44
Prolouge (Author Response)
Look carefully - I spelt it right in the chapter heading Prolouge doubtless came from some poor overworked PS staff member, desperately coding at some ungodly hour of the morning. Still, well done on being the first person to spot it 
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MandyCroyance
Thursday 3rd February 2005 11:11


Prolouge

You've certainly peaked my curiousity.

I enjoy your characterization of Ginny. Very rarely do I find a story in which she is not an avid supporter of the R/H relationship. It's refreshing.

Hermione's characterization, on the other hand, I found to be a little off. I don't quite think she would be interested or at all supportive of the flying motorbike. I also doubt she would be so tactless when asking Ginny if she had a boyfriend, or so gossipying that she would have to write her a letter about it right away. Still I think that you are on the right track.

A few more words of criticism about the letters (sorry). I think that there were too many. I, myself, have an un posted story that features letters and the reason why it remains unposted is that my friends and betas told me that they were too boring. Your letters weren't exactly boring, but the number of them did get tiring. I think you could condense them. One more thing. I think Seamus's letter was not appropriate. People speak with certain speech patterns and accents because of where they were raised, however they do not right that way. Their thought patterns would be similar yes, but in written work Seamus would not substitue "me" for "my" or "mam" for "mum". That really bothered me.

My criticism, by no means mean that I didn't enjoy your story. I find that constructive reviews are more rewarding than abject praise. Oh! I almost forgot. Your title. I have seen that group before, in a story called "The Other Black Girl" by Smelltastic (a very good read BTW). I'm not sure who copied from who, or it the Knights exist in another place from which you have both drawn, but I would recommend creditting whoever created the Knights and contacting Smelltastic if she had stolen your ideas.

mandy 

Majick
Thursday 17th March 2005 10:55
Prolouge (Author Response)
It is my experience of similar relationships that Ginny would support whatever would seem to make people the most happy. Doubtless she'd support R/Hr if it was there, but it's not - yet - and she's learnt a bit from her own time languishing in unrequited love - however long that may have been.

As for Hermione, well, she's a teenaged girl, and they can be flighty at times, no matter how practical they are in general. Hermione's stuck at home, eager for any and all news from the wizarding world, especially if it doesn't involve Voldemort or the Death Eaters killing her best friends. As for the motorbike, she's more interested in the theoretical side ("How does one charm a motorbike to fly?") than the practical ("When can I get a go?")

The letters rambled a bit, it's true, but mainly because I was conscious of the fact that, ultimately, what these people were saying was 'Nothing to report. You?' back and forth several times over the course of the month.

Coming from Irish stock, I know that certain people do include phrases like 'me mam' in their letters, and in Seamus' case it's a sign of him asserting part of what makes him unique at Hogwarts. We haven't seen any other Irish students, and to me he seems like the type who likes to stand out a bit. In more formal correspondence he'd probably be as grammatically correct as the next man, but when writing to school friends he may slip in the odd colloquialism.

The Knights Of Walpurgis are JKR's creation, but she has said that they probably won't be in the books. More details are available on her website, but in order to avoid dropping spoilers, I won't go into it in detail. I haven't seen Smelltastic's work, so haven't drawn from her.

Thanks for the review, and constructive criticism is always welcome. It's flames that I dislike
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Maximaleeni
Friday 7th January 2005 13:03


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 31

Prolouge

I'm here

I still think this is so close to the canon - you're lucky, mine never comes out sounding anything like JK's.

I don't think this chapter was boring at all. The Dursley's were hilarious. I loved the way Vernon was shouting at the kitchen appliances.

Can't wait for more.

Majick
Sunday 9th January 2005 13:00
Prolouge (Author Response)
There should be more soon. The Dursley's are out of the way for the rest of the story, but I hope that there'll be some fun along the way. Of course, there's plenty of seriousness for poor Harry to deal with first...
  Quote
Jacynthe
Sunday 2nd January 2005 19:12


3rd year
Num. of Reviews: 141

Prolouge

Letters are a great way to start a story like this, reconciling unity of narrative point of view with the need to let readers know what others are doing and thinking.  Besides which, theyr're fun. 

At the risk of being made to walk the plank, btw, I'd love to see Ginny and Dean get to have just a bit of quality time together.  He's fun (not a word one would apply to Harry at this point, or -- I suspect -- to Michael) and she deserves a break.

Majick
Monday 3rd January 2005 17:21
Prolouge (Author Response)

I like to remember that there's a world outside Harry's POV, and you'll see a few scenes where Harry's reminded of that as wll. While this tale will stictly be from Harry's viewpoint, the letters were necessary to let people know what's going on.

As for Ginny and Dean, they'll get some time together, but exactly how high quality it is... Still, Ginny will have some fun this coming year, a lot of it at Harry's expense

  Quote
Maximaleeni
Wednesday 29th December 2004 15:45


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 31

Prolouge

Wow. I like, a lot.

It's really close to the canon - I can so see JK writing that stuff. (Well not see her writing it ... I'm not a stalker honest )

Also, if JK can pair them up with other people, why can't you?

Please update soon!

Majick
Monday 3rd January 2005 17:18
Prolouge (Author Response)
I'm glad you think that it's close to canon. I'm trying  There's a new chapter online, so come on over and see what you think of it
  Quote
Sherbert
Monday 20th December 2004 16:31


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 36

Prolouge

Cool. Really liked this. It's been a long wait since your last long story. I like the way you've kept us up to date via the letters and the sibling rivalry you've captured very well. I'm not sure about the "Long -legged, firm-thighed, hard-chested vagabond' description (although thats probably me being picky - and having read far too many trashy romances). I thought the ending was brilliant. It really made me laugh and I can't wait for the next chapter.

Majick
Thursday 23rd December 2004 18:05
Prolouge (Author Response)
If I need any advice on trashy romances, I know where to come  Have a for reviewing
  Quote
XiaoXiao
Sunday 19th December 2004 22:06


4th year
Num. of Reviews: 158

Prolouge

Whoa.  A very interesting beginning.  You've got me hooked!

I especially like how you smothered the worry about Harry with fun & gossip, so that the ending comes as quite a surprise.  Can't wait to find out the story behind this one! 

Majick
Thursday 23rd December 2004 18:05
Prolouge (Author Response)
You'll find it all out next chapter, and I'm glad to hear that you're hooked
  Quote
SillyGillie
Sunday 19th December 2004 16:57


Hogwarts alumni
Num. of Reviews: 543

Prolouge

Awesome job! This story sounds so interesting! I can't wait to read what happens next! LoL, Harry's hilarious!

Majick
Thursday 23rd December 2004 18:04
Prolouge (Author Response)
Harry won't be too hilarious over the next few chapters, but he does perk up a bit once he gets back to Hogwarts. Ron and Hermione should brighten things up a bit, though, and Dumbledore is usually worth a smile or two as well
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Emma Barrows
Saturday 18th December 2004 17:45


Prolouge

OMG this was great!! Please hurry and write more. I can' t wait.

If you're interested, i have a new fic called "Toy Soldiers" on fff.net. its' a MWPP era fic. lMK

Emma

Majick
Thursday 23rd December 2004 18:03
Prolouge (Author Response)

I'll be as quick as I can

I'm on leave for Xmas, so I might have time to check out your fic. I don't go much for MWPP era, but it's on my list

  Quote
Aggiebell
Saturday 18th December 2004 08:15


3rd year
Num. of Reviews: 102

Prolouge
Oh, my.  Well, Majick, that was an interesting start.  What's going on with Harry, to set him off like that, I wonder (I'm not really expecting an answer quite yet--I know how you work! ).

The letters were quite entertaining, by the way. They were an interesting way to tell what was going on without using a bunch of narrative.

Looking forward to reading more!

Julie
Majick
Thursday 23rd December 2004 18:02
Prolouge (Author Response)

The letters came about from my desire to tell an entire story in Harry's POV (Temple and Dementors' Kiss were multi-POVs) but I needed to update the reader on the other characters. As you say, it saved on a lot of narrative...

As for Harry's emotional state, the next two or three chapters cover that in depth. There's a lot to cover...

  Quote
Hexnut
Friday 17th December 2004 22:48


Prolouge
Quiet start, but I assume we'll be seeing more action soon. I don't mind temporary wrong ships as long as none of them involve Draco.
Majick
Thursday 23rd December 2004 18:00
Prolouge (Author Response)

I don't have plans for a Draco ship in this fic, but he may find the odd willing partner. Would I make it with one of our favourites? Hmmmm....

As for the action... It'll come, but there's some other stuff to get through first. Hope it's worth the wait.

  Quote
seamusisevil
Friday 17th December 2004 21:56


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 42

Prolouge
wow what a really good start i hope you are a fast up-dater because i cant wait to read more
Majick
Thursday 23rd December 2004 17:59
Prolouge (Author Response)

Whoops... That should read:

I'll try and update every ten days, more or less, as that's my approximate time for writing each chapter.

  Quote
Amanda
Friday 17th December 2004 21:56


Prolouge

Your story is very interesting and I look forward to reading more.

Majick
Thursday 23rd December 2004 17:58
Prolouge (Author Response)
Thanks for the comment  I look forward to receiving more reviews
  Quote
Spark Soliton
Friday 17th December 2004 21:36


2nd year
Num. of Reviews: 96

Prolouge
Hmmmm - well that was an unusual start but ever so 'compelling! Can't wait (but have to, darn!!!) and now feel like the proverbial 5-year old waiting for christmas morning (and boy do I hate this time of unfettered hypocrisy and unbridled commercialism called christmas) and it just cannot come quickly enough. Loved the style of writing and the the theme/plot as well!!!
Majick
Thursday 23rd December 2004 17:56
Prolouge (Author Response)
Hope that the wait isn't too bad. I'll be aiming to update every ten days or so, and am a few chapters ahead of the story at the moment, so even if my Muse dries up I can still keep things ticking over.
  Quote
Mr. Intel
Friday 17th December 2004 20:59


2nd year
Num. of Reviews: 80

Prolouge
I really like this start and am not afraid of the shippiness in the slightest.  You've got a good grasp on where you want things to go, I can tell, because there's purpose in every scene and letter.  Well done.
Majick
Thursday 23rd December 2004 17:55
Prolouge (Author Response)
Hey, thanks for the review. I'm glad the ships won't put everyone off  As for being planned, well, the Prologue has been more or less written since, oh, March... It took me a while to get started on this story, and now I'm racing the real Book Six
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