I was more than a little confused as to who Malfoy was referring to (Percy being dead); it might have helped to introduce that before the fight, or make it more explicit.
However, otherwise this is an excellent chapter.
hairy_hen Monday 10th January 2005 23:23
2: Banned (Author Response)
That's the trouble with writing a story with a lot of backstory the readers aren't familiar with. More than once I've been told Ginny's overreaction to Harry was very confusing for that same reason, that they weren't familiar with the past events the characters are referring to. That confusion aside, though, I didn't want to overload the story with seemingly irrelevant background information before it becomes important to the story. To talk about Percy's death earlier without either using omniscient perspective or inserting a long and boring "data dump", I would have had to make Harry think about it beforehand for some reason. I didn't do that because he's not likely to just start thinking about Percy at length until the subject is forced on him.
I appreciate your comments, however, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Next chapter things start to get really interesting . . .
As "not exactly where it goes"- I think I see where this is going- not a very well-liked path, but one that happens more often than not- You know the saying-better to love and lost than not at all? I don't agree with that. Tommy Lee Jones may have said it best with "Try it."
Yes I would have to concur, men just don't understand the workings of the female mind...as perhaps it should be. But you are using that very well here, poor Harry- to love too late, its a very horrible feeling to find out who you want- only that they have went a different way. Tragic romance- its finding the one who makes you complete, even being very good, and long-time friends but the depth is never reciprocated. It feels like falling off a cliff- flying for a moment to shatter on the rocks below- every day. But I digress, very good second chapter- i see the touch of St. Margarets here- her stories are wonderful as well. Well done, I love the story- keep your muse comming>