Although this isn't the usual romance fic between H/G or Hr/R, I think you've done a brilliant work depicting one side character. Lee's super cool and he deserves a bit more attention. Original characters are commonly Mary Sues, but I think Holly is great! As I've told you before, this fic is among my top 5 ever! Good job!
St Margarets Sunday 28th January 2007 05:07
2: Screwed (Author Response)
When I was starting this story I looked around for Lee Jordan stories - and besides a few slash pairings with the twins, there was nothing! I was so surprised since Lee is such a fun character. Anyway, I'm glad you liked Holly - she was so much fun to think about since I've always wanted to be an artist. (Sadly, I can't draw) Thanks for reading and for letting me know!
Egads, what a rotten night HE had!! I wanted to smack Amy's father up one side of the street to the next...then she starts splathering on about her little trick...
It's time to open up a can of you-know-what!
Well done, St. M's and I look forward to Ch 3!!
St Margarets Tuesday 12th April 2005 14:37
2: Screwed (Author Response)
Yes - poor Lee. I didn't like writing that chapter! Thanks for reviewing!
Oh, man... Mary, that was just harsh! Poor Lee. I hurt for him.
Good clear path to Holly though - and very well done by the way. Loved Fred and George - horns! *snort*
St Margarets Tuesday 12th April 2005 14:26
2: Screwed (Author Response)
Hi LeAnn - you have to have a little angst or the fluff won't fluff correctly! There's lots of Fred and George goodness to come! I'm so glad you're reading.
*Gasp* That !!! Oh, That little... . Well, one good thing has come out of this: no more Amy, so what... more Holly? Yes? Quite a delightful little intrigue you've got going here; brill work.
Delani
St Margarets Saturday 9th April 2005 06:22
2: Screwed (Author Response)
I'm so glad you're reading! I was really worried that I would lose a lot of readers because this wasn't H/G. And of course there will be more Holly - but the wheels of fluff grind slowly - especially after a set-back like this.
Have been reading and enjoying this despite being about characters that I didn't already start out caring much for. As everyone else has pointed out, you've been very cruel to Lee so far, I trust you'll make it up to him later! Horns are a traditional symbol of being cuckolded, no?
St Margarets Friday 8th April 2005 15:14
2: Screwed (Author Response)
I'm so glad to see that you are reading! And I hope I can keep your interest. You and hairy_hen are my skeptical reviewers - and I need you both to keep me on my toes!
You're the first reader that got the cuckold reference. Are those horns?
I love the way your characterize Lee, particularly his reaction to Amy's dad and to Amy herself (and the truth of the situation) I absolutely shivered to read Amy's confession. She's so... shallow, and slimy and disgusting. Perfect, it really added to the sympathy for poor, miused Lee. I'm thinking that Holly might be able to make him feel a little better however...
Drunken Lee was also very well done. Some nice clever bits as well - "Magic Without Borders" for "Doctors without Borders". An interesting Muggle/Wizarding parallel.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
St Margarets Friday 8th April 2005 04:15
2: Screwed (Author Response)
One of the things Lee has to come to terms with is that he dated someone that shallow, slimy and disgusting. He didn't bother to look beyond the pretty face. But the path to true love is often rocky! I brought a lot of Muggle ideas into this magical world because we don't know a lot about life outside of Hogwarts and the wizarding world must be just as complicated as ours. It's been fun to imagine. Thanks for your review!
I took one look at the title and knew I was going to thoroughly enjoy reading this chapter.
I have to add my voice to the chorus and say poor, poor Lee. I can't abide it when people toy with the feelings of others for their own selfish purposes, so I'm afraid I have absolutely no sympathy for Amy -- I don't care how unpleasant and controlling her daddy is. Maybe she'll get her comeuppance. *is hopeful*
It's funny that both Holly and Amy have younger brothers whom Lee knew at Hogwarts. This may not have been what you were going for at all, but it reminds me of how Ginny and Cho were connected in little ways in OotP (i.e., both played Seeker, both had a part in naming the DA). And obviously, in the case of both Holly & Amy and Ginny & Cho, one girl seems to be very right for the guy, while the other quite clearly is not. [/tangent]
I'm not sure yet which detail you were referring to in your response to my review of chapter one, but I did notice that history popped up again (yay!). But then, so did Mr. Jordan's job in Vanishing Management, so I'm still .
Oh, and I'm with Pirate Ginny -- I already love Lee's parents, and we haven't even met them yet!
I took one look at the title and knew I was going to thoroughly enjoy reading this chapter.
I have to add my voice to the chorus and say poor, poor Lee. I can't abide it when people toy with the feelings of others for their own selfish purposes, so I'm afraid I have absolutely no sympathy for Amy -- I don't care how unpleasant and controlling her daddy is. Maybe she'll get her comeuppance. *is hopeful*
It's funny that both Holly and Amy have younger brothers whom Lee knew at Hogwarts. This may not have been what you were going for at all, but it reminds me of how Ginny and Cho were connected in little ways in OotP (i.e., both played Seeker, both had a part in naming the DA). And obviously, in the case of both Holly & Amy and Ginny & Cho, one girl seems to be very right for the guy, while the other quite clearly is not. [/tangent]
I'm not sure yet which detail you were referring to in your response to my review of chapter one, but I did notice that history popped up again (yay!). But then, so did Mr. Jordan's job in Vanishing Management, so I'm still .
Oh, and I'm with Pirate Ginny -- I already love Lee's parents, and we haven't even met them yet!
St Margarets Friday 8th April 2005 04:10
2: Screwed (Author Response)
Yes the title isn't very literary is it? But it seemed apt.
I did the brothers thing because I wanted to ground all the OCs in some part of Canon. Zacharias Smith knocked poor Andrew off of his broom in OotP. So payback is necessary!
You're getting warmer on the plot point! And watch for a cameo in the next chapter! Thanks for your review!
Hmm, poor Lee, snubbed by his goddess and drinking himself into oblivion. Not a good idea if done with any regularity, but in these dire circumstances I think we can forgive him. That Mr. Smith is a real bandit. I've known people like that (my high school was full of their kids), and they were a bunch of arrogant, rat bastards. Anyway--that Amy wasn't too nice either. I could think of a few choice words to describe her too, but I'm sure you've heard them all before. He's not going to get over this too quickly, I imagine. Well, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter--hopefully he'll find something other than drink to take his mind off of things (hint hint).
St Margarets Friday 8th April 2005 04:06
2: Screwed (Author Response)
Whatever could it be that would help Lee take his mind off his problems?I'm glad to hear that you disapprove of drinking yourself into oblivion as a coping skill - but the Apparating while drunk has to be an even dumber move. The learning curve is steep for our friend in this story! Thanks for reviewing.
wow. what a great start. very different, more mature, than your other stories, which i also love. i like the escapades of Lee. very entertaining...
St Margarets Friday 8th April 2005 03:55
2: Screwed (Author Response)
This is one of the reasons I picked Lee to write about. I really wanted to visit this crazy time of your life when you pick your career and the person your going to be with for a while.
Right- I officially hate Amy's family. Smith reminds me too much of Malfoy. Speaking of that, I really like how you shaped the Smiths around Zacharia's personality. It redeems him, in a way. (in this story, of course) I"m glad Amy;s out of the pivcture- though I feel she'll stil play a role. And that comment Mr. SMih said- about womem not needing a carreer... I HATE sexists, and basically, everything elses Smith represents. Bloody git. Oh, and I feel horrible about the Fred/Angelina fight- I hope they make up. And George must really be in a pickle, seeing his brother hurt like that. I swear, if JK kills off one of the twins, I don't know what I'll do. I think I'll cry even more than when you know who died in book 5. Right, off topic. Well, that;s all from me. EXCELLENT work!! I really love this.
~Maria~
St Margarets Friday 8th April 2005 03:53
2: Screwed (Author Response)
Repeat to yourself each day - no Weasleys will be harmed in the making of JKR's series. How else will we have OBHWF? It's been interesting to see the F&G from the point of view of their friend - I tried not to make them clones of each other.
That is how I came up with the Smith - starting with Zacharias. I think anyone who stuck it out in the DA wasn't all bad. Thanks for your review.
Another wonderful chapter. Too bad for Lee. Wish I could have been there to commiserate - been there, done that. And you're right, love takes longer than a week.
St Margarets Thursday 7th April 2005 08:55
2: Screwed (Author Response)
Well Lee did spend some therapy time at the Leaky Cauldron. Not that it solved anything! Thanks for your review!
I hurt for him.
!!! Oh, That little...
. Well, one good thing has come out of this: no more Amy, so what... more Holly? Yes? Quite a delightful little intrigue you've got going here; brill work.
Are those horns? 
Thanks as always for your review !
But the path to true love is often rocky! I brought a lot of Muggle ideas into this magical world because we don't know a lot about life outside of Hogwarts and the wizarding world must be just as complicated as ours. It's been fun to imagine. Thanks for your review!
.
That Mr. Smith is a real bandit. I've known people like that (my high school was full of their kids), and they were a bunch of arrogant, rat bastards. Anyway--that Amy wasn't too nice either. I could think of a few choice words to describe her too, but I'm sure you've heard them all before. 
He's not going to get over this too quickly, I imagine. Well, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter--hopefully he'll find something other than drink to take his mind off of things (hint hint).
Speaking of that, I really like how you shaped the Smiths around Zacharia's personality. It redeems him, in a way. (in this story, of course) I"m glad Amy;s out of the pivcture- though I feel she'll stil play a role. And that comment Mr. SMih said- about womem not needing a carreer...
I HATE sexists, and basically, everything elses Smith represents. Bloody git. Oh, and I feel horrible about the Fred/Angelina fight- I hope they make up. And George must really be in a pickle, seeing his brother hurt like that. I swear, if JK kills off one of the twins, I don't know what I'll do. I think I'll cry even more than when you know who died in book 5. Right, off topic. Well, that;s all from me. EXCELLENT work!! I really love this. 
Not that it solved anything! Thanks for your review!