OK, so I was way off. You're obviously taking a harder, more direct approach to your angst/fluff than I gathered from the style of the first chapter. Of course, that has its advantages, too. You've thrown a barrier -- time -- in between your main characters without changing the fact they are the main players. And conflict is conflict whether its expected or not, so there's plenty of fun things you can do with that -- not the least of which is the raw emotion you show here.
That said, I think you might have tried to do too much with this chapter. There was a lot of background presented in a hurry in some less-than-subtle ways, plus Harry's outbursts -- while perfectly understandable characterization- and content-wise -- seemed a bit tangential to the conversation that sparked them.
Those last few paragraphs really piqued my interest again. I thought I knew from Ginny's trepidation in the first chapter that there had to be something more going on than the obvious and I'm hoping this is evidence I was right. I can think of a lot of good possibilities -- ranging from another man, to a Harry/Ginny child, and even to Ginny dabbling in the dark arts while trying to bring Harry back -- that could fit what you've shown so far. All have very interesting possibilities, though I imagine I'll be looking forward to seeing which entirely different approach you take as I haven't proven very good at predicting your work yet.
Anyway, I'm happiest as a reader when I'm asking these questions, trying to put myself in the author's place to figure out where all the underlying threads of the story (the more the merrier!) are headed and how they fit together. So, from my perspective, you're off to a pretty nice start.
Harry's awakening moments are so emotionally painful it's a wonder if he'll ever truly recover. All the realizations come cascading in continuously and it's no small wonder that Ginny can provide him most of the comfort he needs to overcome it all. Because of this, it makes the next few chapters an absolute wreck of emotion. She's everything to him and likewise to her, but the way they come to find it out eventually is heart breaking. Although nothing is revealed yet, you can tell something major is coming up and it's not going to be pretty..
Scarlett71177 Tuesday 16th October 2007 10:13
2: Awakenings (Author Response)
I have no idea what it would feel like to awake after a similar situation, but I tried to do some research into it and inserted a lot of my own emotion- what I would feel like in that situation.
It was a difficult and emotional journey for Harry and Ginny, and I'm glad that tension is present even in the first couple of chapters.
Hmm... Some questions answered, some only touched to make the curiousity peak... This was a really great chapter! Now, I'm going to read on and attempt to see if I can't figure out what's going on before you tell us...
Duhn Duhn Duhn! So, there is someone else, eh? I suspect so, at least. The phone, the panic, yup, now who could it be? I'm a little disappointed in Ginny getting carried away like that, tsk tsk. Lol. I just hope everything can be out in the open before she leads Harry on more and hurts him.
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