Nice scene with Harry whacking at the grass pretending its Bella, that's the sort of transference one might do in his situation . Mrs Figg tells Harry revenge isn't good and then turns around and wants to hex Dudders -- not quite consistent . Nice having Dudley turn into a pig . I like how you make the colors match the color of ink used . Nice seen with Tonks giving Harry (sisterly?) advice -- fits the clueless teen years about right .
Snooty little know-it-all by the name of… Weasell? Westley? Worstey? Somethin’ like that--Percy something. Ever ‘ear of him? Tall, skinny red-haired ? Reminds me sorta of your friend Ron
-- does Tonks really not know Percy is a Weasley or did she do that on purpose . "Vol--him" -- now Harry has never been one to hesitate to use his name . Only Harry would answer with such self-doubt. Good for Ginny to call him back .
Great start, but your characterizations are a little stiff. Both Harry and Ginny talk/write more formally than would be expected of them from the books. Even simply adding a few more contractions to Harry's speech would make a world of difference. (And on a similar vein, Tonks doesn't mangle the English language as badly as Hagrid in canon.) Otherwise, definitely a good read!
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