This actually the first decent bit of fanfiction I wrote. I had a longer story before that which explains most of this, but it wasn't any good. I felt there was just enough here to function as a short story, but a lot of people, like yourself, pick up on the "This seems like a small part of a bigger thing" bit.
In the longer fic, which I had called "Of Riddles and Demons" I had Tom lose his temper in relation to something about his financial status, so that's what that refers to.
I did not mention them putting the Anti-Apparition charm into place, but I could get away with that even if this really were a standalone - not everything gets mentioned in the story (ever seen Harry shower or get a haircut?)...and it explains why the DE's didn't just Apparate away when Alastor and the others burst in on them.
The man with the Muggle weapon was...a Muggle. He was a Muggle soldier who entered the house upon hearing a disturbance and saw Tom killing one of the wizards on that level of the house with the Killing Curse - Tom's really reason for being there was to practice his newly acquired black arts. The second wizard ran, the Muggle freaked and shot at Tom, and Tom hightailed it back to the others, and the story details what happens there. Riddle carried fake wands on him in order to back up any stories he had to make for why he was leaving a trail of dead bodies behind him.
The dead were configured into bones because A) Bones are easy to carry B) I figured it's easier to transform organic matter into organic matter - and anything but a bone would be rather disgusting. C) What Crouch did had some subconscious influence on my writing it like that, I'm certain. I don't remember thinking about it that way at the time though.
Thanks for the review, and I'm glad you liked what I had!
Ah! Tom Riddle working with Moody? I assume it's one of those Best of the Good Guys Going Bad kind of things. Cool. But your description makes me keep imagining him as the Creepy Thin Man from Charlie's Angels. Although, considering what Voldemort and Tom look like, your description is quite accurate. Ooh, what did Tom do first year? Did you mention them putting on the anti-apparition charm? It took me a moment to figure out if it were a good thing or a bad thing. Why would a purity of blood crazed death eater carry a muggle weapon? Why did they transfigure the dead into bones? Is this just because that's what Barty Crouch did, or have you made up some sort of background to it? Like a human can only be transfigured into human body parts. This story seems more like a scene than an actual story. It seems like there should be a lot more to it. As if its a chapter out of a novel-length fic. As a scene, it was pretty good, with some rather cool ideas like Riddle working with Moody.