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Saturday 11th February 2006 17:46
Num. of Reviews: 127
|I'm glad Cassia got things figured out. |
Bill and Charlie? That's different. You've got a lot of new ideas. I'm going to like this story.
Monday 24th October 2005 20:07
Num. of Reviews: 96
|Nice set up, nice OC! Very interesting--and it promises to be a very interesting glimpse into the Weasley clan as well. Charlie and Bill adopted--fascinating!|
Monday 24th October 2005 20:33
|1 (Author Response)|
Monday 24th October 2005 17:58
Num. of Reviews: 5
This story is really confusing me. Who is Cassia Malfoy, and since when were Charlie and Bill Gideon's orphaned children?
It's not so much the new character that confuses me, it's that the opening scene was kind of bogged down, going on about one thing for a few sentences, then completely changing tack, and referring to someone as "she" without saying who "she" is, until I finally realize "she" must be Cassia's mother. I also think that the one large paragraph should instead be pared down to several.
Other than that, this story is shaping up to be quite interesting. Good plot ideas!
Monday 24th October 2005 20:32
|1 (Author Response)|
Thanks for the constructive criticism; I'll try to watch the pronouns in the future.
Okay, now to make some things clear (forgive me if I'm just repeating what you already know) Cassia Malfoy's father was Lucius' brother. Yes, I made her up completely; she's nowhere in the books. She lived with Lucuis and his family for a while until the middle of her second year at Hogwarts until her mother was killed. She's not on the Death Eater side and sometime after book six she marries Charlie. The beginning scene was a flashback/nightmare.
I also made up the part about Bill and Charlie being Gideon's orphaned children. It used kind of get on my nerves how in most fics they never seemed to be part of the family the way the twins and Percy did, but in this story I decided to take advantage of that. I though it was so cool how in this one fic I read where Fred and George are in their early years at Hogwarts, discovering the Marauder's Map I think, they did something to Percy and Charlie came in and intervened. You never think about him being at Hogwarts with the twins, or at least I don't. In this story I decided to take advantage of how they seem to be more like close cousins than brothers to Ron since you just don't see them enough. I had a plot bunny jumping around in my head and this makes it all turn out much more interesting.
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