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Reviews For Neither Can Live by Jai-kun

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Showing 1 to 17 of 17
ibelieveintruelove
Tuesday 13th March 2007 18:29


6th year
Num. of Reviews: 257

Chapter One
Excellent! I'm glad you showed some heart in Petunia and Dudley, I've always thought that there was a little something more to the Dursleys that we had never been able to see.

  Quote
GryffindorDragon
Tuesday 31st October 2006 16:24


Hogwarts alumni
Num. of Reviews: 1396

Chapter One
Rather a good response to Petunia -- not quite willing to admit she was wrong, is she? still wanting to claim she'd done something grand in giving him a cupboard for a bedroom and feeding him scraps. Well, pity is probably the right response.
I like Charlie putting Vernon in his place .
Jai-kun
Wednesday 1st November 2006 13:22
Chapter One (Author Response)
JKR says there's no hope for Petunia or Vernon, but I think book 5 shows us that there might be. Still, it will be harder for her.

I like Charlie. Period. I had to put him in there
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Melindaleo
Sunday 17th September 2006 06:11


Hogwarts alumni
Num. of Reviews: 457

Chapter One
Ooh, interesting start. Yay, Charlie. I think an angry Charlie would be an angry sight to behold. I like the conversation with Dudley - interesting. I'm far less willing to forgive Petunia, however. Harry was only 15 MONTHS old when he came to the Dursleys - her own nephew. I'll always think of her as much worst than Vernon, actually. You're writing is engaging and I'm eager for more.
Jai-kun
Monday 18th September 2006 07:24
Chapter One (Author Response)
For some reason, I always pattern Charlie after David Caruso from NYPD Blue or CSI fame. No idea why. He just seems like the quiet type who you just don't want to have mad at you.

JK Rowling said in an interview that there was hope for Dudley, but not for Petunia or Vernon. Personally, I think Vernon needs to be hit by the Knight Bus... twice. But Petunia's actions in OotP give me a little bit of hope for her as well.
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daniel_r_crazy22
Tuesday 27th June 2006 11:22


Hogwarts alumni
Num. of Reviews: 1230

Chapter One
Cool. Charlie came to save the day. Well sort of.
  Quote
southpaw
Sunday 25th June 2006 19:01


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 11

Chapter One
HEY KAMALIA...I only know of one Kalamazoo. I miss Michigan being my home, been away for over two years, thanks!!! Actually reading these books remind me of MI everytime because of all the cold and dreary afternoons in coffee shops with "squashy" chairs. I picture them warmly everytime the weather turns foul in the books!!!
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cckeimig
Thursday 11th May 2006 14:40


Hogwarts alumni
Num. of Reviews: 406

Chapter One
Oh, brilliant start! Absolutely fantastic!
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aschowin
Thursday 11th May 2006 01:02


3rd year
Num. of Reviews: 136

Chapter One
Interesting chapter. It's strange, I think, that so many of us want to see some sort of resolution between Harry and the Dursley's. Many of the stories that I've read that address this take the idea to an extreme, either too soft, or a great overreaction. You've written a very fair and realistic scene in this chapter, and you've written it very well. I liked Harry standing up for himself, it shows him maturing into a man. But I enjoyed the compassion that you gave him just as much. That's why he's the hero. Great job.
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Evelyn
Tuesday 2nd May 2006 12:28


7th year
Num. of Reviews: 340

Chapter One
Harry had even gone as far as to steal bacon from Vernon's plate. I laughed at that image...

Very touching start. Dudley took me by surprise, but it didn't seem unrealistic at all. His behaviour was really well written; Petunia's, too...
I'm looking forward to the explanations in the next chapter.
Jai-kun
Tuesday 2nd May 2006 13:01
Chapter One (Author Response)
I'm looking forward to the explanations in the next chapter.


You may blame Uncle Vernon for the next chapter. However, I believe explanations will be provided. If the characters cooperate
  Quote
critmo
Tuesday 2nd May 2006 11:04


Hogwarts alumni
Num. of Reviews: 685

Chapter One
  Quote
critmo
Tuesday 2nd May 2006 10:38


Hogwarts alumni
Num. of Reviews: 685

Chapter One
1. I'm not an expert in etiquette, but I don't think there's anything despicable about raising questions you're perfectly right to be interested in.

2. Sorry about having you guys at each other's throats because of my smart assing.

3. More to the point: I find Dudley confusing because we don't get to know WHAT made him think. Okay, he says that he - in contrast to Harry - has no real friends, but what made him come to this conclusion? The way you write it, it comes from nothing, maybe it's not important for the story as a whole, however, it's important if we want to understand Dudley, and that's important because D. makes H. go to his aunt. Plus you could have used it as a device to set D. and H. more clearly apart.
It's basically the same with Petunia. I'm not certain what she wants from Harry. It's okay that she sways between defiance and hope for H.'s sympathy, however, she should decide at some point. If you don't want her to decide, that's okay as well, however, it could help to clearly state that H. (e.g.) finds her confusing as well. That way the reader could (perhaps) accept this more easily.

4. It's just an impression of mine, so don't put too much weight on it.

5. One thing I forgot in my first review (It's your fault I came back to mention it!) is: Where are Ron and Hermione? They promised to stay with Harry at the Dursleys.

Hope that helps. Yours, critmo
Jai-kun
Tuesday 2nd May 2006 10:58
Chapter One (Author Response)
1) I'm probably just nervous. This is my first story to ever be posted in such a high traffic location, really.

2) I hope it didn't seem that I was at anyone's throat. I just wanted to mention that several people could have caught that and didn't.

3) The problem with the perspective of this story, as it's preventing itself to me, is that we can only know what Harry knows. It is told just behind his head (as opposed to through his eyes), mainly because Harry is the only one "talking" to me. So I can't explain why Dudley had this sudden change, or Petunia. I might be able to later, as this is not their last appearance.

4) It is a good point!

5) I'm going to take the Author's Way Out™(pp) and say that plans changed, since Harry realized he would be able to leave sooner rather than later, and since the wedding was happening so quickly, he just went alone and got his "time with the Dursley's" over with. Which is to say, I was too lazy to write them in at this juncture.

Helps a lot! Thanks for bringing it up
  Quote
tanaxanth
Sunday 30th April 2006 21:00


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 28

Chapter One
Confusing behaviour from the Dursley's there, except Vernon, of course. I'll be interested to see the next chapter. - BTW, it's "Felix Felicis". "Felicitas" is the female form of the name "Felix", i.e. "the lucky one".


My Fault
Jai-kun
Monday 1st May 2006 13:37
Chapter One (Author Response)
Confusing behaviour from the Dursley's there, except Vernon, of course. I'll be interested to see the next chapter. - BTW, it's "Felix Felicis". "Felicitas" is the female form of the name "Felix", i.e. "the lucky one".


My Fault


Both our faults, and my four pre-betas who will not point things like this out to me >.>
  Quote
critmo
Sunday 30th April 2006 08:51


Hogwarts alumni
Num. of Reviews: 685

Chapter One
Sorry, forgot to log in. The last comment was mine.
Jai-kun
Monday 1st May 2006 13:38
Chapter One (Author Response)
Confusing behaviour from the Dursley's there, except Vernon, of course. I'll be interested to see the next chapter. - BTW, it's "Felix Felicis". "Felicitas" is the female form of the name "Felix", i.e. "the lucky one".


May I ask what's confusing? (I'm not even sure if that's within etiquette to ask... the price of noobness.)
  Quote

Sunday 30th April 2006 08:49


Chapter One
Confusing behaviour from the Dursley's there, except Vernon, of course. I'll be interested to see the next chapter. - BTW, it's "Felix Felicis". "Felicitas" is the female form of the name "Felix", i.e. "the lucky one".
  Quote
Kamalia
Saturday 29th April 2006 17:43


3rd year
Num. of Reviews: 142

Chapter One
Very good! I especially like the way Harry treated his aunt - too many times do I see him just hexing her to Kalamazoo. Keep up the excellent work.
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IHateSnakes
Friday 28th April 2006 23:12


2nd year
Num. of Reviews: 99

Chapter One
Good start. S.
  Quote
potternut190
Friday 28th April 2006 19:49


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 37

Chapter One
Good start!
  Quote
fritz42
Friday 28th April 2006 16:08


3rd year
Num. of Reviews: 125

Chapter One
Interesting conversation between Harry and his aunt. I was glad to see that Harry was able to tell her a few things. But, an even more surprising conversation was between Harry and Dudley. Looks like Dudley had matured over OotP and HBP "time." I look forward to seeing where you will be taking us with your story.
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