I've been reading this story, after a discussion that I was having with my friend, Peter (My Ginevra) about exceptionally well written FanFics, and your story came up in the discussion.
I must give you praise at how well written it is, how absolutely well formulated your plot is and the depth of your character development. Given the publishing dates, your unacany similarity to DH is inspiring.
This may be one of the best stories I have ever read, and I am very impressed and can't wait to read more.
Oh that was very evil leaving the chapter like that. Good thing I don't have to wait long to read the next one.
I think Harry should tell malfoy about Pansy. It would show something on his part that could help things between them. Notice I didn't say fix.
The visit with Lucius went exactly like I expected it. I don't think they were thinking when they allowed Harry inside with Draco by himself as they know Harry has fainted with dementors. He could have fainted and Lucius polyjuice as Harry to escape. lol
I promised myself after chapter three that I would write a review, telling you how much I loved your story. Then I was bitten by a plot bunny that my stabbit gave birth too and hidden under my computer desk. I ate dinner after that, went to watch some fireworks, and the entire time as the colors were exploding in the sky I was thinking how lucky I was to have a nice day off tomorrow, so that I could keep reading on into the evening. I swore to myself then and there, coffee in hand that I would write a stunning review for you, praising your character development, personal writing style and wicked sense of humor. I went home, kept reading, and forgot all about my promise. I then nearly wet myself laughing when Harry threw Ginny's romance novel down and wondered whatever had put her to sleep. I soon forgot my promise to review, and kept reading. At one point, my dog Charlie assured me he would die if I didn't let him out on the lawn, and I promised, swore up and down that I would review. I lied. I was a lying lying lying liar. I went inside, poured another cuppa and kept reading. So here I am, 'tis past the witching hour and I'm wringing my hands hoping against hope that Dumbledore was right, that Draco can be saved, and that right now, when it's important, Draco realizes that having honor and dignity takes more (insert crude reference to male anatomy often used to symbolize bravery here) than doing the wrong thing.
The right thing being the Slytherin thing to do - Scream like a little girl for Moody to come and rescue so Ron can have a good laugh.
I loved the dragon, I loved that Ginny knew she was the last woman standing and that it bolstered her self esteem. I'm a female martial artist - I study Praying Mantis Kung Fu every day, and there's this poster in the woman's changing room at the temple where I train. It's cheesey, and has a little raccoon running a race on it, but it has a very valuable quote on it: "every winner was once a beginner" and Ginny's character truly embodies that. I loved your scene with the Dementors. I loved how Bill grew up a bit, and I shed tears when Hermione's friends showed solidarity in a true moment of Girl Power. People lose sight of what true friendship and honor and courage means in the face of Hollywood movies.
The one thing I love most about this story is the message it holds for the reader: Doing the right things - even though it's hard - along with Love, honor and loyalty to family and friends will see you through. JKR tries very hard to get this message across to her readers, and like her, you have succeeded with grace.
May the muses inspire you, and thank you, thank you for waking up my plot bunny... I haven't felt the urge to write in some time.
With Great Respect,
Tess
Melindaleo Monday 3rd July 2006 09:46
14: Azkaban (Author Response)
Wow! What a fantastic review! I'm gobsmacked, lol. I really do hope you write that story, because I think you'll be very good. You certainly plastered a grin on my face - and say hello to Charlie for me. I'm delighted you're enjoying the story, and I hope you continue to do so. I'm honored you think JKRs message is still coming through in this little rip off of hers. Thank you.
Had to leave a quick note to say that I loved the Harry/Draco interaction in this chapter, keeping them very canon-like but showing that perhaps they are coming to understand each other better. Great little moment where they almost share a laugh then realise who it is they're talking to. I also enjoyed the Draco/Lucius scene, it sure had me feeling sorry for Draco. Can't wait for the next chapter, that cliffy needs resolving! I really like your Draco and I hope you're going to be including him a fair bit in the story?
Melindaleo Monday 3rd July 2006 09:43
14: Azkaban (Author Response)
Thanks! I'm having fun with Draco in this one. He definitely playing a role, but I'm trying to balance his time between the people who love him and the people who hate him, lol. There's something that happens in the next chapter that makes him revert a bit to his old ways...
Aww , thats some cliffhanger.. Can't wait for the next chapter, glad it's gonna be a longer one.
I love the way you portrayed the prison here. With the walls alive with the misery of the people who had been there, that's very well done. The whole Draco-Lucius thing didn't come as much of a surprise but Harry's and Draco's later reactions to it were very realistic and so in character with them.
I'm officially hooked on this story, I wonder if your others are as good.. I think I'll go check them out now.
Really looking forward to your next chapter.
Dan
Melindaleo Friday 30th June 2006 05:27
14: Azkaban (Author Response)
Thanks so much for all the reviews! I've thoroughly enjoyed watching your progress as you read your way through. I'm thrilled you're enjoying it so much. The next chapter is with beta now.
Yum, this chapter is a reviewer's dream. So much to talk about!
I'm glad Harry is beginning to understand why it's so frustrating when libraries yield no results. Too many people paint an irrational, book-worshipping Hermione. It's not like that.
“Why do they hate you so much? I thought you were everyone’s golden child,” Malfoy asked, his gray eyes puzzled.
I love this line. It's like a look into his mind. Malfoy can't seem to understand that people can have very different feelings about any one person. Up until then, he's been able to despise Harry for his universal, blind fame - and now he finds something for which Harry can only be pitied, he doesn't know what to think. I love this Malfoy! Well, not him, but the way you write him. Ohh, you know what I mean.
I really like your use of Dumbledore's line. A shiver of recognition went through me, and I felt so... scared, I think would be the best word, for Harry. Yes, this trust can be a comfort to Harry, but it's so much pressure. He needs all the support he can get.
Just after Harry and co have disillusioned themselves and eavesdropped on the conversation, we get this bit:
Remus motioned for the others to follow him
I'm not sure how a disillusioned person can motion and be seen!
Leave it to Hermione to sniff out a hidden book.
*grin*
Scrimgeour had been extremely eager to learn the details of Harry’s trip, and Harry suspected some Ministry interference before the day was through.
The anticipation! I'm so curious...
I'm so glad Ron had that triumph (of a sort) over Malfoy in the boat. Go Weasley! But the ending? Terrifying. I felt clammy myself... *tremble*
Some of your ideas are so canonically (is this even a word?) convincing I find myself wondering if I'll be disappointed in HBP because I've read some ideas in your story. Still, nothing could stop me reading this - you were the first fanfic author to truly captivate me, and you were the one who inspired me to keep writing when I'd all but given up.
Keep it up. You write, I read. It's a law of the universe.
Sarah
Melindaleo Friday 30th June 2006 05:26
14: Azkaban (Author Response)
Wow, such a nice, long, detailed review. Thanks! I'm delighted by the reactions to Malfoy. I only hope I can keep it up. I tend to NOT like him, but I was intrigued by him in HBP. I'm a big Ron fan, too, and I like to see him intimidate Malfoy Thanks so much for the compliment! I'm delighted to hear it, and you keep up the writing, too.
Ah; quite well done: I especially enjoyed Moody's interactions with the Malfoys. Speaking of Moody, it looks as if a couple of lads might benefit if he were to exercise some of his "Constant Vigilance" right about now.... :-)
Melindaleo Thursday 29th June 2006 03:54
14: Azkaban (Author Response)
Yes, Moody did promise to stay close and alert, didn't he? So, either he should come quickly to the rescue...or he's already been taken out...
Melinda! You can't leave us there .... it's not ... but .... but Harry -
Excellent chapter. I enjoyed the conversation between Harry and Draco immensely, expecially the little "Oh, there’s an understatement. Bravo." from Malfoy. The moment where they almost shared a smile was amusing too, as was Narcissa - although she wasn't there, she still managed to annoy Moody and Harry.
And for all his antics, for all his digs about being the chosen one and being useless, Malfoy still relies on Harry to get him out of trouble:
“What’s wrong with you, Potter? Get up. There are Dementors here.”
Can't wait to find out what happens next - and is Harry ever going to tell Malfoy exactly why he faints when Dementors get too close? Or will we have to wait for another occlumency session for that?
great work!
Melindaleo Thursday 29th June 2006 03:53
14: Azkaban (Author Response)
Heh - but you know I love my cliffies - You're right, despite all his bravado, Malfoy DOES turn to Harry when things get rough. As for telling the reason he faints - I hope you like the next chapter.
Aaahhh! Evil cliffie! I won't rush the next update, but I'm really looking forward to it. ^^ This chapter had the potential to be very melodramatic and unrealistic, but I'm glad you kept everything believable. Now I only hope Harry's okay! But he will be. ...Right? LOL. Ooh. I SO hope you have something planned for Mr. Malfoy, because I'm just WAITING for someone to punch him in the face! Maybe Hermione should have come after all...? Ha. Well, good job, and I - like billions of others, I'm sure - wait eagerly for the next chapter!
Melindaleo Thursday 29th June 2006 03:50
14: Azkaban (Author Response)
Thanks! The next update is well underway...and this story isn't quite half over, Heh, it would be funny to see Hermione deck Lucius, wouldn't it? Actually, I'd love Ginny to be the one who got to do that
Melinda,
I love the intimacy you're giving us between Harry and Ginny, and I'm so glad you updated! I hated the cliffie, but then you know we'll always come back for more!
Melindaleo Thursday 29th June 2006 03:48
14: Azkaban (Author Response)
Thanks! I know, the cliffies are tough, and they kill me in stories I read, too - but they do work when writing. I'm glad you enjoyed the h/g stuff. I love that pair. I honestly can't understand how some people still don't see it in canon. She makes him happy, for crying out loud. Harry deserves some happy.
Wonderful plots in this chapter. Let me first start with Harry and Ginny's scene. The way they said "I love you" to one another was so precious. Sometimes I have to keep in mind that they are still very young. It's so evident in your writing that they truly love one another. Even when Harry picked Ron over her to go to Azkaban, she couldn't let him go without showing him how much she cares for him. (I love them)
I absolutely love Harry and Malfoy scenes. They play off one another very well. I love that Malfoy can always spit out those awful one-liners to anyone he hates, and Harry can always come back at him. Funny stuff. Malfoy always make me laugh with his crude remarks. That doesn't mean that I like him or anything, I just love that I can laugh at his comments. You got his character so perfect.
WOW! Azkaban is horrible. I could feel the chills as Harry walked through the halls. It sorta made my own stomach churn. Dementors are awful creatures. I can't wait until the next chapter. You ended this kinda cliffy didn't you? Shame Shame. But that's okay, I'll just look forward to the next one.
I loved your Draco and Lucius scene. Draco gets his ability to only look out for number one from his father. But however horrible his father was to him, I bet Draco'll never see the error of his ways. Lucius will always have that haughty stuck up, attitude, and Draco shall follow right along in his foot steps. I like that Harry could, all be it for a second, feel sorry for him. Just shows how much compassion Harry has. Made me proud of him. Nice job there.
Okay, I could probably write a whole lot more, but I'll end it here. It was a fanstastic chapter, and it being 22 pages long was perfect.
Dee
p.s. I love that Ginny calls Voldermort, Tom. As she should. Everyone should call that punk that. It's his name.
Melindaleo Thursday 29th June 2006 03:46
14: Azkaban (Author Response)
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm delighted by the response to . Honestly, he's never been one of my favorites, but I have to admit that I'm having loads of fun writing him in this story. He's not a "nice" character, but he's not a Death Eater, either.
Harry and Ginny's conversation was so good! Ginny made me feel better about Harry's situation. And the way they said "I love you" to each other - too sweet! But you shouldn't have cut away from that unsupervised afternoon! LOL! OMG, Azkaban was creepy! And that cliffy ending - please update soon! Poor Harry!
Melindaleo Wednesday 28th June 2006 17:08
14: Azkaban (Author Response)
Hee. I'm going to keep this PG-13, lol, so we have to cut away Besides, isn't it more fun to imagine?
Another incredible chapter, and a long one, too! I think you've kept the Malfoy's exactly in character. Lucius is ridiculously loyal to Voldemort, Draco is only out for protecting himself, and his mother would do anything to protect him, but would still be mean to him at the same time.
I feel bad for Ginny and Hermione, but they'll get over it... maybe. I guess it all depends on what happens next on this crazy adventure you've got us all hooked on! I love this line
“When you tried to break up with me at the end of term, you said being with me was like something out of someone else’s life.”
And then Ginny says that's the saddest thing she's ever heard. I agree. Poor Harry! To think that he doesn't deserve to have people love him... it's just wrong. Grrr, those stupid Dursleys!
You did such a good job describing Azkaban, so creepy and sad. I love when Harry thinks about Sirius spending 12 years there. I think Harry could dwell an entire chapter on that. I could go on and on, but I guess I did that about five chapters ago, so I'll just say once again how much I love you work! You have a very special gift.
Here's the highest compliment I can give you: If JKR kills off Harry in the last book, I'm just going to make this my Book 7.
Melindaleo Wednesday 28th June 2006 17:06
14: Azkaban (Author Response)
Whoa! That's some compliment, but I think canon Harry is going to come out just fine. When has JKR ever given away what's going to happen to a characer? If she's talking this much about people telling her to kill him so it's really over, I just can't believe that's what she actually did. Long Live Harry.
I agree with you about that line. That went right to my soft spot and twisted. Poor kid.
. Honestly, he's never been one of my favorites, but I have to admit that I'm having loads of fun writing him in this story. He's not a "nice" character, but he's not a Death Eater, either.