wow.... thats crazy... at least percy did the right thing.... umbridge is stupid.... next thing you know she's gonna let voldemort walk right into hogwarts..
He knew his mother kept the Weasley family clock with her wherever she went, and he also knew it would alert her instantly of his death. It would be all the warning the Order needed. But Percy didn’t think he had the nerve to do it. He glanced at Professor Snape warily, uncertain what to do. Percy suddenly felt very young and over his head.
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This is exactly how I'd want to see Percy redeem himself. Brava.
Just read this chapter, and honestly, well done!!! I gather Percy is dead, and I think this was the best way for him to end, with dignity, and with courage. Again, congratulations!!!
I actually said "What!?" out loud before reading Harry sayi it. That Umbridge...
Percy's end was fitting. I feel he did the right thing and I don't feel too bad for him. It's those left behind who will suffer this lost the most.
I know I should go to sleep, but one more chapter, perhaps. It's so tempting.
I've been hooked on this story for 3 days now. Shame on you and your writing!
You do an incredible job creating a realistic plot, even if it's a little un-canon now. I love how you've handled the destruction of the Horcruxes and the blossoming of Ron and Hermione's relationship. It's Harry and Ginny I'm a little worried about, though.
I admit, I love how you've characterized Ginny, but Harry has become sort of larger-than-life. A particular line stuck out at me in this chapter:
'“Here’s a newsflash for you, Harry. You do tend to be a bit…reserved,” Ginny said, rolling her eyes.'
Reserved is not the word I'd use to describe Harry in this story. He's been quite upfront and bold among the adults, and quite saucy with his girlfriend. I questioned whether he could have brought himself to say all he said when he woke up after destroying Hufflepuff's goblet. We know that he is a Gryffindor, I just feel like I didn't get to witness his maturation. And his wizarding skills, I've noticed, are impeccable. Conjuring a broom, dodging all but one of Snape's hexes in the cave - I remember him to be a decent student but often lazy with his work.
And I've noticed that you've decided to take the evil-Snape route. I've read into things differently than you, but I suppose that's just a clash of opinions. To each, his own.
Now, please don't take these comments the wrong way. I love this story as if I were reading the real seventh book. You have a real knack for writing and can certainly keep a reader drooling for more (though I have quite a ways to go, yet, before I catch up with you! Thank goodness!). It may be too far along in the story to really consider what I've said, but I just wanted to throw that out there to be chewed on if you felt so inclined.
I'm giving this fic another go. I gave up for a bit because of the excessivly conrived plot devices with the: "it really does not do what it does" Fedelius charm, and the even the good guys will work for the bad guys because they are too dumb to ralize it.
Those aside, I think it was a pretty ok chapter. I don't generally like killing off Percy since (a) it is too easy a choice for so many and (b) He is really too tragic a character to waste all that work JKR did setting him up, there are lessons for them all to lern fomr Percy. Killing him does not close that door totally but it seems like an easy out for emotional cash-in with the readers.
You did write it well and your Snape is Evil! Now on to the next chapter.
WOW! I was up until FIVE THIRTY in the morning to read this! It is AMAZING! I've been having a hard time finding a 7th year fic I actually find believeable and enjoyable. I'm so glad I've finally found one.
I'm not thrilled with the idea of Harry being a Horcrux, but that's only because I don't want to him to die at the end. So that goes for you, too! You must allow them to find a way to get the piece of Voldie's soul out of Harry without killing him or making him insane. Harry's attempt to write a letter to Ron was so heartbreaking! ::sob:: I hope they don't become necessary. I have visions of Ginny finding the crumpled parchments...
I really like the way you've set up the Horcrux Hunt. The idea that they all need to be destroyed at the spot where they were hidden is awesome. But I did not like Harry having to go back to the cave.
I also really love how strong-willed you've made Ginny and especially the fact that she's been the only one to make it out of the battles reasonably unscathed. Very nice.
Speaking of Ginny, I was also so happy that you got her and Harry back together! While it wrenches my heart out every time Harry thinks about his last time to do such and such with her, I really love that he's given himself this chance to be happy. Their scenes together are very well-written.
I was holding my breath every time Ron and Hermione have been injured! I'm glad they've both made sufficient recoveries - though I'm unable to picture a redheaded Hermione. You've done a fabulous job capturing their romantic relationship as well as their friendship with Harry and Ginny.
I was pleased to see that Percy has reconciled with his family - or at least tried to do so. I want to believe that he'll do that in canon as well. So this chapter was very heart-breaking! My first thought was, "Wait, is he dead? He can't be dead!" And then I read the author's note where you said, "for killing Percy" which answered my question. So I had to go back and read that part again. Very gut-wrenching and Gryffindor. Go Percy!
There is WAY more that needs to be said, but I best end this review before it takes over the entire screen. So keep up the fabulous work and I look forward to more! And this time I'll read the chapters as they're posted so I'm not forced to stay awake until sunrise.
Melindaleo Friday 18th August 2006 09:51
20: Treason (Author Response)
Five-thirty?? OMGoodness, I hope you didn't have to work the next day! I much prefer Harry and Ginny together in my fanfiction, as well. I doubt JKR will be so quick, but that's what we have fanfiction for, right? Thanks so much for the line, lengthy review, and I hope you'll continue to enjoy the story.
OMG!!!! That was soo good! You made me respect Percy again. That was great. And Ron getting caught....that was hilarious. Please update soon. God, how is Molly going to take the news??
Melindaleo Thursday 17th August 2006 12:08
20: Treason (Author Response)
Thanks! I'm glad you felt for Percy. You'll get to see Molly in the next chapter - but there will be more than just the loss of Percy happening at the time
WHAT? NO!! *bawls* Of course I feel bad that Percy died!! How will the family know what he said!?!? How will they know he didn't betray them!! HOW could you DO this!??
*pant* Ok. I'm calmer now. Still seething and sad, but whatever. Thsi is horroble. Just the whole devastation of the family and oh my God Umbridge deserves to suffer for an eterniy she is so evil. And I hate Snape. The bast*rd. Anyways. I just hope things work out in the end, and the family finds out exactly what hapenned between Percy and Snape in the end. Then I might forgive you.
And as far as the chapter goes.... well, do I really need to say? Amazing work!! I hope you know how much of a huge fan of yours I am by now!
And really the plot is amazing. And killing of Percy, wile wrong and horrible and just plain cruel, was a really good move, in terms of the storyline. I mean I am bubbling up in anticipation!!!
Great work!
~Maria~
Melindaleo Wednesday 16th August 2006 19:12
20: Treason (Author Response)
Hee - your review made me giggle! Yes, Percy did turn at the end but without ever completely reconciling with his siblings. They'll all have to deal with that, which takes place next chapter.
You are, without a doubt, my favorite HP fanfiction writer. I am really enjoying TSH. This chapter was great. I got a nice supply of fluff, which I love, and Draco made an appearance, which I love, he cracks me right up with his snide remarks, and it was also sad, which I don't particularly like, but will tolerate for the good of the story.
I felt extremely sad for Percy at the end. I knew when Snape stepped inside the room that it was all over for Percy. That was just so sad. And right when he was getting back into the family. I could just cry. I'm just glad that he finally knew the truth at the end, and didn't die in his ignorance. I sure hope his family finds out that he died with honor, and that he didn't betray them.
Okay, I've written entirely too much here. I tend to babble when somethings good. I'm still reading your other story, CotD. That story is the bomb! I love it. Do you have a website that we can post comments about your stories at? If so, please email it to me. Dang, I should've read PoE and CotD back in the day when you first wrote it. I have a lot of comments about those stories, but no one to talk to about them.
Anyway, great job here. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Melindaleo Wednesday 16th August 2006 19:10
20: Treason (Author Response)
Thanks much! I'm glad you're enjoying it, and I have enjoyed your comments on CotD, too. My website is Melindaleo.com, and there is a mailing list if you'd like to chat about the stories - or anything canon-related. Although, if you don't like the sad stuff I'm not sure how you're reading my stuff, lol. I do love my angst.
Thanks for putting Percy down with honor, I have been decided anti Percy for some time now, but I feel for his brothers, who had not reconciled with him before he died. I see many regrets in the future of the readheaded clan.
It does however seem that if the Wizmegot could sack Fudge, that they would have more sense than to keep Delores Umbridge from dismantling their entire government.
I liked the chapter title, because treason is exactly what Delores is up to.
Oh and I know who the spy is, and if you don't shame on you, you haven't been paying attention.
Melindaleo Wednesday 16th August 2006 19:08
20: Treason (Author Response)
Thanks! Yes, Ron in particular is going to have a hard time dealing with Percy's loss.
I wouldn't want to beta this story. I LOVE the anticipation of waiting to see what's going to happen. Plus, it really ends the school-week nicely finding a new chapter up. (Not that I'm in school yet -- I go back tomorrow -- but I've read all your stories, and it's the same with every one). Sure, a week does seem like a long time to wait, but it's not all that bad, really.
This way, when you get it, you'll be even more excited for it. I think that it kind of ruins the anticipation when you are beta-ing. Especially with a story as good as this one. I would feel weird getting the chapters early. That's just me though, I guess. LOL.
I figure I'll start reviewing here, as you seem to get more reviews here, anyway. Yeah. It's a nice fic archive. :p
Melindaleo Tuesday 15th August 2006 04:42
20: Treason (Author Response)
Aww, thanks very much! Good luck going back to school, and I'll try to have something for you next weekend.
That was just so sad. And right when he was getting back into the family. 