AU, yes, but somehow, it still fits into the book. You built up the fight wonderfully. I loved the contrast between the short yes-no answers and then suddenly, everything bubbling out of Harry. Well done! I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
I don't know where to start. I came across this chapter of yours today, and since it was the first of your work I had read so far, I had to read the rest immediately. I think your work is the best of Harry Potter fanfic I have come across so far, so I had to register in order to tell you. I love your style, the dialogues, the humour but the thing I love best is the way you paint the charackters and their interaction, especially Ginny and Harry. Hopefully there will be more soon!!
critmo Wednesday 23rd August 2006 09:32
Part 1: The Problem (Author Response)
I am, of course, greatly honoured that you registered with Phoenixsong because of my writing, but I'm also disappointed: YOU READ EVERYTHING AND LEFT ME ONLY ONE REVIEW?
Ooooh! *rubs hands together gleefully* This is great. I can see that you don’t like to take that corridor scene at face value, what with this and your Good Mood series. I’m right with you – I completely agree with your take on Ginny’s motivations, thoughts and knowledge about all the matters that were ‘under discussion’ at that encounter. Here, I particularly love how she wants Harry enchantingly clueless about what to do with a girl . I can’t wait to see where this goes next. With all that eye-flashing, I’d love to see a Harry–Dean confrontation, but I’m sure I’ll love wherever you take us.
Wow! Well done. I can't wait for the next chapter.
The funny thing is, I really didn't see this as AU at all. It fits so well with canon that it really doesn't have to be AU, unless future chapters dictate. Very good writing. I think you've captured Harry's inner turmoil about being in love with Ginny and not wanting to admit it - either to himself or her. I feel kind of bad for Dean, but hey, someone's got to sacrifice so Harry and Ginny can be happy.
Harry's admission was great. I like how you had him just spill it and I only wish I knew what was going on in Ginny's head when he said it. I bet he didn't get any essays written after that. This is so much fun. I'm glad you didn't let the plot idea go because this is going to be terrific!
critmo Wednesday 23rd August 2006 09:27
Part 1: The Problem (Author Response)
Yeah, Dean's the looser in this respect, and he doesn't really deserve it, does he? He just fell for the wrong girl.
Great beginning. I liked the way you kept the emotions boiling like a pot on a stove, and then BLAM. Can't wait to see the next chapters? How long will the piece be??
Thanks for sharing this with us.
critmo Wednesday 23rd August 2006 09:25
Part 1: The Problem (Author Response)
The pleasure is on my side. It's good to be back after a longish break and get some substantial reviews. - And there are two more chapters.
Oh....this is a GREAT start and what a cool direction to take with a bit of OotP and HBP inspiration.
I love when H/G (or R/Hr) stories have their roots in realistic teen drama. I mean sure, the serious side of things with Voldemort, the prophecy, the horocruxes, etc....is always a factor. But when the kids get to worry about real life issues too it brings a reader more into the mind of the character.
I am thrilled to see the next chapter is already at 60% completion. I will be back to read more when it is time. I think you have really hit on a story idea that will hook a lot of people.
