I am not on here as much as i used to be, but your story has seemed to catch my interest. I am curious to see where it will end. One more thing i though this was a great line " Now," Voldemort continued after lifting the Cruciatus for the second time, "remove yourselves from my presence. The stench of your failure annoys me." . great line again!!
harry_ginny1234 Tuesday 26th August 2008 17:26
Prologue (Author Response)
I really appreciate the that you are enjoying this story.
the plot is ineteresting. I agree with the others on the prologue being a little short...although i'm guessing there will be something in the next chapter?
Interesting start - the timing of the second prophecy is good - Voldemort had already marked Harry by that time. Voldemort using crucio on his servants works, but is a bit overdone in fanfic. One would think he would have access to a wide array of tortures to keep his servants in line.
Great chapter! Wish it was longer, but interesting plot line. When you say a "bond" with Ginny, could that be friendship, because he became friends with her when he was 15/ i suppose not since he'll need to go back in time...
Nice beginning, and well written. The plot sounds interesting.
A couple things: I felt the prophecy a bit clumsy and wordy. Unless it was intentional, Dark lord should have both D and L in upper case. And when you wrote: "PED to DDD and TED concerning HJP, unknown girl, and He-Who-Must-Be-Named, December 19, 1982" didn't you mean to call Voldy He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named"?
this story sucks
