You are still in top form: setting up the rivalry....escalating the rivalry....now dropping hints of attraction and symptoms of mutual interest/need.....all very realistic and believable with the pacing and the interactions....well done!
St Margarets Saturday 24th January 2009 11:51
The Flat Part I (Author Response)
Bless you for saying that. I haven't written a thing since August, so I felt very rusty when I started writing this request. So rusty in fact, that this one shot ended up being two parts. LOL. Ah. well. I'm glad it's been enjoyable. Thanks for reading!
What a cute premise! I mean that in the most compliementary way! I'm so pleased to see a new story from you and I'm enjoying this so far. We don't see Percy much in canon, but I believe you've got his personality down pat. I like the little bits of regret and self-recrimination Percy is experiencing, but it's just enough, not overdone. In one chapter, I already want to know more about Audrey. Looking forward to more!
St Margarets Friday 23rd January 2009 14:36
The Flat Part I (Author Response)
I'm glad you liked the premise, although it really isn't the best set up for a one shot (hence it's a two-parter LOL). I'm glad you thought Percy seems like Percy - I don't write him very often, so I really had to think him through. I was quite fond of Audrey when I finished this story, so I'm glad she has intrigued you. Thanks for reading!
\"I was showing a property in the Hebrides and you know how slow the Floo is once youre past Oban.\" -- hahaha! EVERYTHING is slow past Oban!
Really, really enjoying this! Nice to have new stuff off you!
B
St Margarets Friday 23rd January 2009 14:34
The Flat Part I (Author Response)
I'm glad you liked the reference - I love Scotland, although it's been years since I last had a chance to visit. Thanks for reading!
Whoopee! New story and one about Percy to booth. Love it.
There is one sentence in here that just doesn't seem to flow for me if you don't mind me saying.
Im asking because I dont know that Im a very good judge of character. I once had a boss who was under the Imperius Curse and I didnt realize it at the time.
either 'that' should be 'if' or the sentence could be "because I know that Im not a very good judge of character".
Do forgive me if I am wrong because english is not my native language but it just ...... I don't know ..... didn't flow?!
Either way, I like this new story and I'm of to read part II of 'Percy's Perils in Romance LOL'
St Margarets Wednesday 21st January 2009 14:38
The Flat Part I (Author Response)
Yes, "if" does read more smoothly - but it's more tentative, which is why I had Percy use that construction - he admits exactly what he doesn't know. That being said, I probably should have punctuated it differently - so the awkward construction makes more sense. "I'm asking because I don't - I don't know that I'm - that I'm a very good judge of character." That probably shows Percy's state of mind better than what I originally wrote. Thanks for pointing that out. I have found the non-native speakers often make the best proofreaders!
Yay for fic! I don't always go in for stories about the minor characters, but you always do such a great job with them that I know it will be worthwhile. And I'm not disappointed so far. I love the chemistry between Percy and Audrey. Percy seems in character with Canon, and Audrey certainly isn't a Mary Sue, and the interplay between the two is just great. Thanks for writing!
Jay
St Margarets Wednesday 21st January 2009 04:21
The Flat Part I (Author Response)
I'm glad you took a chance on reading about minor characters - I haven't written any minor character fics for a long time and I enjoyed discovering something new about the HP world with this pairing. It was fun to think about how Percy's peers at Hogwarts viewed him - as opposed to Harry and Ron.
