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Reviews For Vis Insita by Caleb Nova

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Showing 1 to 13 of 13
Eggjock
Tuesday 16th July 2013 01:39


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 33

6: The Enemy Without
Good work mate. This is the first time I've reviewed any of your stories . But I do think that they are really good.
Caleb Nova
Wednesday 14th August 2013 13:52
6: The Enemy Without (Author Response)
Thank you, I appreciate that. The next chapter is finally back in progress.
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The Pharaoh
Tuesday 18th June 2013 22:25


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 35

6: The Enemy Without
Firstly: The scene where Neville and Luna got together was very cute, but I think that now things are getting darker it should be something that's more alluded to than exposited; there's enough of teen couples worrying about keeping each other out of danger as it is.
Secondly: If you can find a way to work her in, sure, but I don't see how. Maybe insert her at the Ministry later on?
Thirdly: I, for one, read the quotes, but then again I don't like to skip things. The Kharadjai-related excerpts are like little bonus content, though I'm not as crazy about the quotes you get elsewhere. It would be different if I could see how those relate to the chapter (which I'm assuming they do) but I forget them as I'm reading the chapter.
Caleb Nova
Wednesday 14th August 2013 14:04
6: The Enemy Without (Author Response)
Firstly: The scene where Neville and Luna got together was very cute, but I think that now things are getting darker it should be something that's more alluded to than exposited; there's enough of teen couples worrying about keeping each other out of danger as it is.


A fair point. My story has always had a diffuse focus but I should be wary of spreading the love too much, yes?

Secondly: If you can find a way to work her in, sure, but I don't see how. Maybe insert her at the Ministry later on?


We shall see.

Thirdly: I, for one, read the quotes, but then again I don't like to skip things. The Kharadjai-related excerpts are like little bonus content, though I'm not as crazy about the quotes you get elsewhere. It would be different if I could see how those relate to the chapter (which I'm assuming they do) but I forget them as I'm reading the chapter.


There aren't any quotes I get from elsewhere, save in the prologue. Hart Crane was a real American poet and the 'Long Wake of Phosphor' is a real quote from his real poem, but after that there's nothing else from anyone real.

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kopfsalat2000
Thursday 23rd May 2013 17:41


3rd year
Num. of Reviews: 116

6: The Enemy Without
I just noticed that in my first review of this chapter, I voted against having more on the Nev/Luna side story. Strangly enough, this time, I'd say I like it well enough, I'd probably miss something. I also said I'd like to have Sophie around again, however, at the moment I really don't see how that could fit in. Did I read the same story last time? Or was I a different me? Oh dear
Caleb Nova
Saturday 25th May 2013 18:39
6: The Enemy Without (Author Response)
I have an idea or two as to how Sophie might return, so we'll see.
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kopfsalat2000
Thursday 23rd May 2013 17:34


3rd year
Num. of Reviews: 116

6: The Enemy Without
I was thrown off guard, since I thought such a romantic interlude would garner more response than anything else in that chapter. Apparently no one cared. Hence my wondering.

Maybe you didn't get that many comments on Nev/Luna because it fitted in so well that everyone was okay with it? Their story made perfect sense to me. Perhaps not getting any comments about some aspect of the story is actually a good sign? Hmm...
Caleb Nova
Saturday 25th May 2013 18:39
6: The Enemy Without (Author Response)
I suppose, at the very least, a lack of specific comments means that nobody hated that part enough to write about it.
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Narumi
Friday 15th February 2013 19:27


Hogwarts alumni
Num. of Reviews: 368

6: The Enemy Without
I enjoyed this chapter even more than the last. I continue to enjoy you entirely skipping cannon sections, but then casually mentioning that they did still happen (like Harry talking to Dedalus). I was dissappointed that we didn't get to see Harry and Ginny dancing, even if it would have been 'with her cousin'. I found the running fight scene very hard to visualize, it felt fragmented and didn't flow well, but that could just be me, I was very tired when I read this last night. (I'm only now getting to the review because I was too tired to bother typing one out after finishing reading!)

To answer your specific requests for feedback: I do like the Neville and Luna parts, and I especially want to see glimpses into how life at Hogwarts is for them, and their leadership of the students. I didn't care for the scenes with Sophie, because I have never enjoyed reading a romance between two OCs in a fanfic- that belongs in original fiction, in my mind. I do enjoy the quotes prefacing each chapter, but I significantly prefer the ones that are textbook exerpts or similar. I'm just not a poetry person, and while I can appreciate that they are well written, I get a much better kick out of the geekiness and details of the field manuals, etc. It gives me a better sense of you going above and beyond as an author, to have created so much backstory.

Also: props to Sherry! I've always thought about submitting to become a beta here on PS, and I think fics that Sherry has beta'd are predominantly among my favorites.
Caleb Nova
Friday 15th February 2013 19:40
6: The Enemy Without (Author Response)
I enjoyed this chapter even more than the last. I continue to enjoy you entirely skipping cannon sections, but then casually mentioning that they did still happen (like Harry talking to Dedalus).


This story and the previous one assume you have strong knowledge of the books. Of course, it can still get confusing considering some of the changes I make aren't actually detailed and happen in the background.

I was dissappointed that we didn't get to see Harry and Ginny dancing, even if it would have been 'with her cousin'.


Well, Harry was busy talking to people and Ginny had bridesmaid stuff to do, probably. Plus if you'll remember Ginny was looking for him during the dance, but there were a million people with red hair.

I found the running fight scene very hard to visualize, it felt fragmented and didn't flow well, but that could just be me, I was very tired when I read this last night. (I'm only now getting to the review because I was too tired to bother typing one out after finishing reading!)


It doesn't have much of a constancy to it, which was intentional. It's not really one, fluid fight scene but rather a running battle. Like a real combat scenario there's a lot of pausing and confusion as both sides try to figure out exactly what's going on.

To answer your specific requests for feedback: I do like the Neville and Luna parts, and I especially want to see glimpses into how life at Hogwarts is for them, and their leadership of the students.


I have multiple plans for them, but a lot of those plans are conflicting, so we'll see what I decide on.

I didn't care for the scenes with Sophie, because I have never enjoyed reading a romance between two OCs in a fanfic- that belongs in original fiction, in my mind.


Well, I never said I would bring her back for romance. She and Scott are not a couple. I'm afraid you're badly outvoted in this case, since nobody else didn't want her to make a reappearance.

I do enjoy the quotes prefacing each chapter, but I significantly prefer the ones that are textbook exerpts or similar. I'm just not a poetry person, and while I can appreciate that they are well written, I get a much better kick out of the geekiness and details of the field manuals, etc. It gives me a better sense of you going above and beyond as an author, to have created so much backstory.


Most of them are excerpts. Of course, even the latest poem was also an excerpt, since Susanna B. Aether is not a real person and her long form poetry collection Still Lost, Constantia does not exist. Still, understand you have less interest in fictional Kharadjai poets than you do in fictional Kharadjai military manuals.

Also: props to Sherry! I've always thought about submitting to become a beta here on PS, and I think fics that Sherry has beta'd are predominantly among my favorites.


It's especially impressive considering she also runs the website. She took on editing my story without me asking, basically after my fifth beta quit (I have terrible luck with betas) she just start touching things up when I sent it in to be posted.
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Chatmandu
Monday 21st January 2013 08:27


4th year
Num. of Reviews: 153

6: The Enemy Without
My first review in quite a while...
Neville/Luna: Do what fits the overall plot. Ginny is with Harry et. al. so someone from the DA has to lead back at Hogwarts.

Sophie: I liked the character, she humanized (is that a pun?) Scott to an extent. Since Scott no longer needs his teenage subterfuge neither does Sophie. What I liked about her characterization in TTM was she had a severe case of emotional and psychological doubt when she de-aged but did her job regardless. I appreciated her professionalism. If I remember rightly Scott wanted her at the party because she's better at reading the Shape than Scott. That sort of help is something the Primes would welcome now. That and I've already responded the wedding invitation Eva sent. Don't you dare cancel the event on me you pinheaded gamer dweeb.
Caleb Nova
Wednesday 23rd January 2013 22:55
6: The Enemy Without (Author Response)
Neville/Luna: Do what fits the overall plot. Ginny is with Harry et. al. so someone from the DA has to lead back at Hogwarts.


Maybe,

Sophie: I liked the character, she humanized (is that a pun?) Scott to an extent. Since Scott no longer needs his teenage subterfuge neither does Sophie. What I liked about her characterization in TTM was she had a severe case of emotional and psychological doubt when she de-aged but did her job regardless. I appreciated her professionalism.


Ha ha, as opposed to teen-Scott's lack thereof?

If I remember rightly Scott wanted her at the party because she's better at reading the Shape than Scott.


No, actually. She does have superior talent in the manipulation of local power forms (IE, magic) but is not more sensitive to the shape than Scott. He wanted her there because he already had her on the phone, mostly.

That and I've already responded the wedding invitation Eva sent. Don't you dare cancel the event on me you pinheaded gamer dweeb.


Excuse me?
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TomRiddle
Friday 11th January 2013 16:43


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 14

6: The Enemy Without
Caleb,
Forgive me my informality, I just wanted to clarify a few things from my earlier review.

It's not that I think that you've been writing N/L poorly, it's that they're not to a level where writing their relationship would be difficult in my mind. they're still fledgling in their affections for one another.

As for Sophie and Scott, I can't see them going off and being 'shipped' as you put it, 'shipping' to me has also been in a romantic sense as far as I was concerned and I fell that such a thing would be neigh impossible, as much as Scott may like Sophie, he has a job to do and the job comes first. On top of that Scott (at least to date) has spent much of his time aged down and therefore has teenage hormones which had presented issues in the past. I think that Scott truly does care for Sophie, I'm just not sure how a romantic relationship could work between them while he is helping Harry and the gang.

Not to say I don't want you to try it, if it worked it'd be very impressive.

I think Ms. Strauss should make a reappearance in the the story in whatever capacity she manages to fit into.

I Remain,
~TomRiddle
Caleb Nova
Wednesday 23rd January 2013 22:41
6: The Enemy Without (Author Response)
It's not that I think that you've been writing N/L poorly, it's that they're not to a level where writing their relationship would be difficult in my mind. they're still fledgling in their affections for one another.


That's true for most everyone, though. These are kids with adolescent attractions and all the problems that entails. Obviously they're on the brink of something more serious, but between being so young and the war there's not much time to concentrate on that.

As for Sophie and Scott, I can't see them going off and being 'shipped' as you put it, 'shipping' to me has also been in a romantic sense as far as I was concerned and I fell that such a thing would be neigh impossible, as much as Scott may like Sophie, he has a job to do and the job comes first. On top of that Scott (at least to date) has spent much of his time aged down and therefore has teenage hormones which had presented issues in the past. I think that Scott truly does care for Sophie, I'm just not sure how a romantic relationship could work between them while he is helping Harry and the gang.


I wasn't suggesting that I would work a subplot like that into the story. I was indicating that I found it interesting that people had become invested enough in an original character that they would entertain the thought of them being paired with anyone at all. In my experience original characters are unwelcome romantic players, though that's usually since so many authors try to stick them with canon characters.

But this story isn't interested in Scott's love life. This fight and these loves belong to the canon cast - Scott's story did not begin in Harry's universe, and it does not end there either.
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TomRiddle
Friday 21st December 2012 13:28


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 14

6: The Enemy Without
Mr. Nova Esq.
Apologies on the delay, I first read this on my iPad when you first published it and writing reviews (or writing anything really) is a bit of a pain in the on an iPad, and I wanted to give this the response it deserved. I am quite a fan of your work, as I've stated previously and since you were asking such direct questions I felt I should address them directly. Personally I've never seen N/L shipped well, it always seems as if they're thrown together because they're the only two people left without a pair. If you could convincingly write their relationship I would love to see it, if you don't feel you can do that then, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.
I am however all for the reintegration of Sophie, it shows some insight into Scott which is so rare for him, I think it also humanizes him a bit; Even Scott Kharan has romantic feelings for someone. My best guess for how to integrate her would be to have her follow the gang around, but I don't know how exactly that would work out.
As for the quotes, to me they're easter eggs, not really relevant at all to the current plotline, but interesting nonetheless, I would like to see them continue.
I anxiously await the next installment, Hope you're enjoying your holidays.
I Remain,
~TomRiddle
Caleb Nova
Friday 4th January 2013 22:30
6: The Enemy Without (Author Response)
Apologies on the delay, I first read this on my iPad when you first published it and writing reviews (or writing anything really) is a bit of a pain in the on an iPad


I wrote my Hiatus note on my phone, which is not an experience I'd care to repeat.

Personally I've never seen N/L shipped well, it always seems as if they're thrown together because they're the only two people left without a pair.


There's some element of this to the pairing, yes. More to the point, they were eventually (and after the fact) paired with other people we don't know or care about.

Both of these reasons are motivations and probably have a lot to do with the pairing in concept, but for my part most of my interest derives from my belief in their compatibility. I think they are good, complementing characters, and writing their interactions usually comes easily.

If you could convincingly write their relationship I would love to see it, if you don't feel you can do that then, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.


This implies that I have written their relationship poorly up until this point, which is disappointing.

I am however all for the reintegration of Sophie, it shows some insight into Scott which is so rare for him, I think it also humanizes him a bit; Even Scott Kharan has romantic feelings for someone. My best guess for how to integrate her would be to have her follow the gang around, but I don't know how exactly that would work out.


You're not the only reader to ask for Sophie's return based on Scott's very brief interaction with her in the previous story. It's interesting that so many of my readers are enthusiastic at the prospect of pairing Scott with someone.

I like that, though. That sort of ship mentality is common for canon characters, and the fact that it translates to Scott says good things about how my readers connect to him.

However, the problem with your scenario is that Sophie is not an Integrationist.

As for the quotes, to me they're easter eggs, not really relevant at all to the current plotline, but interesting nonetheless, I would like to see them continue. I anxiously await the next installment, Hope you're enjoying your holidays.


I was never planning on dropping the quotes. I need that symmetry. And I did enjoy Christmas, thanks.
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Dad
Saturday 1st December 2012 10:24


Hogwarts alumni
Num. of Reviews: 478

6: The Enemy Without
Luna and Neville are minor characters but it is nice if they make an appearance. I always read the quotes.This chapter is a great action peace.
We have been decorating and I have been using a different computer so am not logged in, I have had to turn the house upside down, to find the piece of paper with my password on. So I either think this story is fabulous or I do not have enough to do with my time.
Caleb Nova
Saturday 1st December 2012 17:05
6: The Enemy Without (Author Response)
Man, there's been a ton of decorating and moving crap around at my place too. I stay out of it as much as possible. Me and change, we've don't really see eye to eye.

So I either think this story is fabulous or I do not have enough to do with my time.


Possibly both, if your past reviews are any indication.
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kopfsalat2000
Thursday 29th November 2012 15:20


3rd year
Num. of Reviews: 116

6: The Enemy Without
Lol good job!

To answer your questions: Luna and Neville aren't that important. Yeah to Sophie, if there's a way to fit her in nicely. And I don't usually bother with poems, I want to get to the action

Thanks for the update, looking forward to the next one, as always...
Caleb Nova
Friday 30th November 2012 16:43
6: The Enemy Without (Author Response)
To answer your questions: Luna and Neville aren't that important. Yeah to Sophie, if there's a way to fit her in nicely. And I don't usually bother with poems, I want to get to the action


Not into poetry, huh. Well, I've only used two poems so far (technically one, as the prologue was from an actual poet and everything else is by me).

Thanks for the update, looking forward to the next one, as always...


It's a work in progress, unfortunately. Still a ways to go.
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sylvelle
Monday 26th November 2012 15:45


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 30

6: The Enemy Without
LOL GOOD JOB.. no really.. For my part, I am addicted to this story, so much I wish I'd found it after you completed it.. Sorry I hate waiting. Regarding poems quotes etc I like some of them, some not so much. Love the story though what's next???? more please
Tricia
Caleb Nova
Friday 30th November 2012 16:42
6: The Enemy Without (Author Response)
For my part, I am addicted to this story, so much I wish I'd found it after you completed it.. Sorry I hate waiting.


Surely there are plenty of other, superior stories with which you can occupy yourself.

Regarding poems quotes etc I like some of them, some not so much. Love the story though what's next???? more please Tricia


I guess I'll take the hits with the misses.
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Aragorn
Monday 26th November 2012 15:44


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 37

6: The Enemy Without
Luna can be one of my favorite characters and I enjoyed the interlude you're referencing but I don't know if they add much to your story. Basically, they ARE secondary...and we know them. The great appeal of your story is simple: SCOTT. And, the interactions of the big 4 Primes with him (and Lila). The fact is that you have almost certainly created the most successful OC character in HP fandom. So, ride that reality.

Which also justifies the "Yes" with Sophie; she opens another side of Scott that we otherwise don't see. So she could bring a lot to the story if you choose.

I believe the quotes add a lot to the story, which doesn't mean that I always read them. But I do sometimes, and when I do I always appreciate you a bit more, for how much care you bring to the crafting of your story. They are a high-level, value-added facet of each chapter. Appreciate your annoyance of not getting more recognition for them but I would encourage you to take a longer view.

In my judgement, there are many stories in fanfiction that have been/will be quickly forgotten. The trite and cliched fade from our memory. I believe that you're crafting something that will likely grow in popularity over time and will still be being read and appreciated in 10-20 years...precisely for the reason that you invest so much in each chapter.
Caleb Nova
Friday 30th November 2012 16:40
6: The Enemy Without (Author Response)
Luna can be one of my favorite characters and I enjoyed the interlude you're referencing but I don't know if they add much to your story. Basically, they ARE secondary...and we know them. The great appeal of your story is simple: SCOTT. And, the interactions of the big 4 Primes with him (and Lila). The fact is that you have almost certainly created the most successful OC character in HP fandom. So, ride that reality.


But I need to keep in mind that I have an ensemble cast. Scott has his part to play, but only a part. The story belongs to Harry, if it can be said to belong to any one person.

Which also justifies the "Yes" with Sophie; she opens another side of Scott that we otherwise don't see. So she could bring a lot to the story if you choose.


Okay. I think everyone was pretty on board with her maybe showing up again.

I believe the quotes add a lot to the story, which doesn't mean that I always read them. But I do sometimes, and when I do I always appreciate you a bit more, for how much care you bring to the crafting of your story. They are a high-level, value-added facet of each chapter. Appreciate your annoyance of not getting more recognition for them but I would encourage you to take a longer view.


I understand they're very tertiary, and that's as intended. It's just flavor text, after all. My rather plaintive attitude stemmed mainly from the poem prefacing The Leaving Cycle, which I spent quite a bit of time on and had hoped someone would comment on it specifically. While that's still true, I shouldn't have been so whiny about it.

In my judgement, there are many stories in fanfiction that have been/will be quickly forgotten. The trite and cliched fade from our memory. I believe that you're crafting something that will likely grow in popularity over time and will still be being read and appreciated in 10-20 years...precisely for the reason that you invest so much in each chapter.


I'm not sure it works that way with fanfiction... maybe. Time will tell.
  Quote
Swell
Monday 26th November 2012 10:56


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 42

6: The Enemy Without
Glad to have you back.
I think Neville and Luna would have a lot to offer, in terms of balancing the amount of interaction between Scott and the others, which is perhaps very intense too much of the time.
Shrugs. You asked ...
Caleb Nova
Friday 30th November 2012 16:36
6: The Enemy Without (Author Response)
I do think they have their own story to tell, even if it is intermittent. Thanks for your insight.
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