I just got caught up with theostory, and this was quite the cliffhanger. At least they found Harry. Now that Ginny is with him, maybe they can get him out. I'm thinking that Dudley's strength will come in handy here.
I read the two earlier stories, but I have been putting this one off because the time lag between chapters is difficult for me. I find that when a new chapter appears, I have to reread almost the whold story to figure out what is happening. I hope your life will allow you more time to spend on writing - we want Harry to get out of there. Who would have thought that the Death Eaters would use something so Muggle as Chinese water torture?
Arnel Tuesday 16th June 2009 02:04
19: Action at Last (Author Response)
First off, I'm honored to be the recipient of your first review. Second, the time between the present cliff hanger and the next chapter is only as long as it takes my beta to get home from vacation and send her corrections/suggestions to me. No long waits between chapters. I want to have Harry rescued as much as my readers. And yes, Dudley plays a key role in the next few chapters. As for the Chinese water torture, depending on how it's done, it can be quite magical: Voldemort wants Harry's body intact, his mind weakened, so that it will be easier to get Dumbledore's information and then duel with him to the death.
I'm glad you read the other two stories first. I have tried to keep references to them to a minumum in this story, but with how it starts, a reader needs to be at least somewhat familiar with what happened in the second story.
Thank you for reviewing. I hope you will continue to comment on this and other writers' stories. ~Arnel
Caught up at last! Haha, I've been reading past stories as fast as I could in order to get to this point. Now I have to wait like everyone else for chapters though *pouts*
I must say, you're amazingly brilliant with your stories, and I love them! ^_^
So, I guess all I really have left to say is thanks for being brilliant haha. And I cannot wait for more
DaniKay
Arnel Sunday 7th June 2009 13:48
19: Action at Last (Author Response)
I'm so glad you're now in the same boat as all my other readers! I promise that Chapter 20 will be out in a couple of weeks.
I appreciate your compliments about my stories, but to be fair, there are many other writers who are a lot better than me, who can produce a chapter a week that keeps one at the end of one's chair. Mine take much longer to write because I'm so picky about how the finished product looks.
sorry i've not reviewed these last three chapters til now, i've had no time to read them til now, so er here goes
great, great and er great lol.
why such a muggle way of torture, though the chinese water torture is one of the most effective forms of torture, i'm really surprised you chose something so muggle, was it to weaken his mental state to try and force that image of ginny into his head to trick him?
reverse legilimency? not sure if i'm convinced, maybe if it had been a variation rather than "reverse" but maybe i'm picking hairs. and do we get to find out this information? liked the idea of the twins "captives companion" very nice touch.
how much control do voldy and the death-eaters have at hogwarts, and more so is there a resistance movement, like a continuation of the DA?
knowing your pencant for cliffy's i half expected them to be in the wrong cave and maybe get ambushed or some other greivous act happen to them.
though stil a good read i was a wee bit disapointed with this chapter due to lack of description, there just seemed too much conversation in this chapter compared to previous, which left me feeling that it went very quickly. it was almost as if the characters were narrating their way through the chapter, and i didn't really get a feeling for the action part of it.
well sorry i've rambled on for ages here, can't wait for the next update.
take care Al
Arnel Sunday 7th June 2009 13:22
19: Action at Last (Author Response)
Al,
I appreciate any reviews my readers are able to give and one for three chapters gives me lots of room to respond.
It's funny... you seem to have zeroed in on all the things my betas have questioned about the story! The truth about the method of torture I chose for Harry is that I wanted something really different than what so many writers have done before me. The Chinese Water Torture has been used for centuries in real life and the only physical mark it leaves is a bloody hole in the body after enough time has passed. Voldemort had his Death Eaters use this on Harry because, in theory, it would soften his mind while leaving his body untouched. Although the method was Muggle, the cave is wizard-excavated and all the rock formations are magical decorations that can be manipulated magically to do whatever the Death Eaters need them to do.
So... with Harry's mind softened, any Death Eater who knows Legilimency can have a go at extracting the information Dumbledore gave Harry. I think when I first wrote the part about "reverse" legilimency I had no idea what to call it. Pick at hairs all you want... I think you got the idea that whatever form the Death Eaters were using, it's nasty.
Here's the truth about Chapters Eighteen and Nineteen. Originally, they were one thirteen-page chapter which I accidentally deleted instead of another one. Everything I tried failed to get it back, so I rewrote it from memory. The funny thing is, the second version was nearly twice as long as the first and I actually liked it better than the original. I'm sorry you were disappointed that the action was swallowed in the conversation. I suppose I'm still learning to balance the two to create an acceptable chapter.
As for my penchant for cliff hangers. The ones in this story are actually driven by the format that switches between the Harry and the Ginny chapters. One of my betas has chided me that every chapter does not need to end in a cliff hanger, but at times I've deliberately ignored the comment.
I really appreciate your in-depth review. It's given me a chance to explain some things that other readers may be wondering about. Chapter Twenty, a Harry chapter, is with my beta and should be up in a couple of weeks.
Woot for some action! Curse you for stopping before I get a clue how my Harry is doing. I'm do eager for the next update. I've never seen a story where Dudley went on a rescue mission. I'm eager to see what happens between Dudley and Harry as he recovers. I'm happy DD is still alive, too. He didn't deserve to die in that hole.
Arnel Thursday 4th June 2009 13:56
19: Action at Last (Author Response)
Melinda, the second half of Chapter 20, which is in Harry's point of view, is sort of a wrap-up, catch-up time for Harry. I think you'll like the chapter because it's full of his thoughts as the rescue is taking place. I didn't want to do it from Ginny's point of view because then I'd end up with a glorified list of "first they do this," "next they tuck in that," and "finally they battle X in order to get away with a minimum of damage to the two rescuees." Dudley features prominently in the next few chapters so that we learn what is to become of him, too. Aggiebell has my next chapter already, so it should be out in a couple of weeks. Thanks for reviewing.
What a place to stop. Update A.S.A.P. or I will have no finger nails left. Dudley has turned out to be a great guy. Edge of the seat stuff!!
Arnel Thursday 4th June 2009 13:43
19: Action at Last (Author Response)
I worked long and hard to create just the right atmosphere for this chapter and I'm glad I kept you on the edge of your seat. Harry's point of view is next, so I stopped where I did so that readers could feel the story moving forward as well as experience the rescue through his eyes. Aggiebell already has Chapter 20 so I'll update as soon as we're both satisfied with the chapter. Thanks for reviewing, ~Arnel
'Action at Last' is a good title. I can almost feel the happy ending that is sure to come.
This is a hopeful and insightful passage-
"He’s not the same ferret we’ve known all these years. There’s no Slytherin arrogance left in him.” He raised his eyes to Ginny’s as he said, “That battle at Hogwarts last June changed him.”
Arnel Thursday 4th June 2009 13:35
19: Action at Last (Author Response)
Actually, the outcome of the rescue is bittersweet and you'll learn about that in the next chapter.
I'm glad you liked the passage about Draco. You caught a major attempt at foreshadowing on my part. So yes, we'll definitely see more of Draco in future chapters.
Evil! Leaving us hanging like that! Good chapter. Thanks for sharing.
Arnel Thursday 4th June 2009 13:32
19: Action at Last (Author Response)
Sorry about that. In defense of the cliffie, I'll tell you that the next chapter is in Harry's point of view and in order to do that justice, I felt it was necessary to stop where I did. You know now that someone is with Dumbledore and that Ginny and Dudley have found Harry, both major worry-points from previous chapters. Hopefully, the next chapter will be out within a couple of weeks. Thanks for reviewing. ~Arnel
