huskers
Monday 24th December 2007 18:07 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
Are you British? I don't think so because your story does not have the natural flow of 'British English', but you do seem to know a bit about the SAS. If you're not, I shouldn't be surprised by your knowledge, as your stories seem to have an just a 'bit' more research to them than most others.
An aunt Petunia that I can at least begin to forgive. Maybe. We'll see if she's doing it because she's changed, or because being on better terms with Harry helps her protect herself, Vernon and Dudley.
At last! Someone who has muggles capable of doing something against the magical humans. You can always do something. And one thing I've noticed from every fanfic author to JKR herself, is the over dependance on wizards on their wand. Really, it is a quite clumsy weapon. Give me an assualt rifle anyday; even better, a sniper's rifle. And really, JKR has the magical's go into hiding from the muggles, at least in part, because the muggles are a danger to them. If muggles were so entierly helpless, why the need to go into hiding? Simple sheer numbers mean there is an ability to fight. And once that wand is out of the picture, then every wizard I've read of would be in a world of hurt. I love it. |
Spark Soliton
Sunday 7th January 2007 12:48 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
Well, that certainly stirred things up, including my curiosity!
I loved the flashbacks and that wonderfully creative, and different, background for Hermione's parents. SAS, eh. I'll never look at a Dentist the same way.
There is a quicker pace in this chapter, and the flashbacks helps in building the tension - an unusual writing style that requires a good hand behind it and that you certainly have. The story is so well written and told, with that wonderful sense of maturity to it - you feel as you read it that a lot of thought has gone into constructing the lines and paragraphs (along with the story of course) and in choosing the right words. I'm very impressed, and not a little envious either! *sighs*
Thank you for writing and sharing this, Spark Soliton.
|
daniel_r_crazy22
Thursday 21st December 2006 23:47 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| It can't be the Death Eaters. They wouldn't ring the bell. It has to be the Order members. Very good chapter. I like how it goes bak and forth. |
GryffindorDragon
Tuesday 12th September 2006 15:12 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
"unless Harry died or something worse" -- sounds like the Dursleys .
Nice development. Who's at the door? Mrs. Granger (Meg?) is suspicious, but would Deatheaters ring the bell?
|
OpenCessaMe
Saturday 3rd June 2006 19:07 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| I loved the background story. I loved getting to know more about the Grangers and beginning to see where they can fit in when it comes to the war that'll come. Great job |
Rocky235
Friday 14th October 2005 15:18 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| Good grammar and dialog, plus lengthy chapters are a goood thing. I like the Grangers too. |
| Sunday 4th December 2005 06:59 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
Thank you for your review from so very long ago.
"The Granger Defense" has been renamed "Great Scott, Potter, This is War!" and is now being continued through Harry's sixth year on this site. The next chapter after the Grangers defeated the Death Eaters has now been posted.
I would be grateful for you to consider continuing reading and reviewing.
Thanks again, and Cheers! |
FenrisWolf
Monday 21st February 2005 15:54 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| Excellent story so far! I've often thought that just because the Grangers are dentists doesn't mean that they couldn't be quite competent at protecting themselves in the Muggle fashion. After all, despite the British government's best efforts to the contrary, not all British subjects can be sheep ready for the slaughter. I can't wait to see what happens over the next chapters! |
MrRobertsIII
Saturday 19th February 2005 20:48 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
she now was outwardly as kind as most people were to complete strangers.
-Made me laugh.
Knife-Wielding! Petunia was new to me, but somehow it didn't seem to strange, especially as it fit in with the knife vs. wand theme that became clearer as the fic progressed.
did not care if he was injured or sick, so stop sending the owls unless Harry died or something worse.
-It must have been awful for the Dursleys - always getting their hopes up only to be disappointed. I'd have made the same request.
(on a side note, a great fic for Harry getting "killed" is Harry Potter and the Deadly Deception at http://www.hgnetwork.co.uk/siye/viewstory.php?sid=701)
Now the Secure Floo Powder..."
-Good idea.
but I de-mobbed after ten years service to become a dentist."
-for some reason this reminded me of the old animated Christmas special about the elf who wants to be dentist. From now on I'll expect that elf to be packing a Fairbairn.
As he turned to leave he quietly stated, "I am sorry. I was never stationed in Ireland."
-Love his control.
|
oliverwood
Saturday 12th February 2005 21:45 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| correction....the Seals learned everything they know from the SAS...other than that - good start.... |
sonicdale
Wednesday 9th February 2005 06:17 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
Nice. I like the flashbacks.
The SAS angle is nice. Hand-to-hand fighting is effective - I've seen some fanfics that use it well. Here's to hoping you do as well.
You never expounded on the "dusty old chest." Gun? Knife? |
cootiepatootie
Tuesday 8th February 2005 15:17 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
This is starting out GREAT!!! I can't wait for further updates. I like the idea that Dr. Granger the father is a tuff guy! :)
Seriously. I love the Harry in your story, too. He's willing to accept that he may be questioned for his connection to Moldiemort and the consequences of that connection, but he's also willing to stand his ground for what he believes in...
update quickly, please please please!!!
Cassie |
| Sunday 4th December 2005 07:54 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
Dear CootieP- - -Thank you for your review from so very long ago.
"The Granger Defense" here on PhoenixSong has been renamed "Great Scott, Potter, This is War!" and is now being continued through Harry's sixth year on this site. The next chapter after the Grangers defeated the Death Eaters has now been posted.
You have been reading this elsewhere, the chapters starting with this one are being edited and rewritten in some parts. It will not continue elsewhere.
I would be grateful to you if you consider continuing reading and reviewing.
Thanks again, and Cheers! |
SillyGillie
Tuesday 8th February 2005 13:19 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| by the by! I loved the Harry and Petunia interaction! I could picture it brilliantly! |
| Sunday 4th December 2005 07:54 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
Thank you for your review from so very long ago.
"The Granger Defense" here on PhoenixSong has been renamed "Great Scott, Potter, This is War!" and is now being continued through Harry's sixth year on this site. The next chapter after the Grangers defeated the Death Eaters has now been posted.
If you have read this elsewhere, the chapters starting with this one are being edited and rewritten in some parts.
I would be grateful to you if you consider continuing reading and reviewing.
Thanks again, and Cheers! |
SillyGillie
Tuesday 8th February 2005 13:18 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| by the by! I loved the Harry and Petunia interaction! I could picture it brilliantly! |
SillyGillie
Tuesday 8th February 2005 13:14 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| Brilliant job! Such an interesting chapter! |
Hexadecimal
Tuesday 8th February 2005 12:00 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| I think this story touches on a topic that many overlook -- that the Grangers, despite being Muggles, still have effective ways to defend themselves, and have a potential for effective training of those ways as well. The normal plot line of having the Grangers cowering never worked well for me -- Hermione has always been headstrong and independent, she didn't get that being raised by "weak" parents. This is an excellent start to a story that helps define Hermione's family as more than just sidebar characters to huddle against the wind. I'm looking forward to your next chapter! |
| Sunday 4th December 2005 07:55 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
Thank you for your review from so very long ago. I conceived this storyline when I was pondering how I might defend myself against DEs.
"The Granger Defense" here on PhoenixSong has been renamed "Great Scott, Potter, This is War!" and is now being continued through Harry's sixth year on this site. The next chapter after the Grangers defeated the Death Eaters has now been posted.
If you have read this elsewhere, the chapters starting with this one are being edited and rewritten in some parts.
I would be grateful to you if you consider continuing reading and reviewing.
Thanks again, and Cheers! |
butchlutz
Tuesday 8th February 2005 10:25 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
This should be good fun!!! Death Eaters aren't going to know what hit them!
Who Dares Wins....
|
Sauron
Tuesday 8th February 2005 09:55 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
I always enjoy reading HP fics that involve modern military; I'm of the
opinion that they could give a far better account of themselves than
most people give them credit for, especially in CQB, which Death Eaters
don't seem to be trained for. This one looks like it's going to be a
good one, and I am eagerly awaiting more.
You have a very good characterization of Petunia. Different, yes, but
certainly believable, without going so far in the other direction so as
to make her a caricature. Now the Grangers...the Grangers are
interesting. (Hey! Don't you just hate notes in the middle of a
paragraph? Distracting, aren't they? Now you know how I felt when I ran
across your A/N. IMHO, that should have been handled another way,
possibly from Steph's POV.) Mr. Granger nine years SAS, Mrs. Granger
with some sort of "extensive training" unknown...did her husband train
her or did she get something different from the IRA?
Yes, I noticed that you never gave us Mrs. Granger's given name, but
you do reference Hermione's temper. Bet she gets it from her mom...the
Irish Meg. Am I right? :)
Oh yeah, one more thing. You say, "the Special Air Service of the British Army is...the only unit that can rival US Navy Seals in my opinion." Well,
better not let the SEALs hear you say that. And what about the
Kampfschwimmerin? Boy, you like living dangerously, don't you?
|
| Saturday 12th February 2005 04:58 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
By "popular request" the A/N in the middle of the story has been fixed. Thanks for the great review.
Regarding living dangerously, why do you think I use a pseudonym? |
Chromatix
Tuesday 8th February 2005 09:34 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
Yes, I agree, the assistance of a Britpicker would be very helpful.
Any volunteers? This is a three-chapter story that is part of a sixth
year story (that I am obviously going to have to write quickly). These
three chapters are written and in beta, so raise you hand quickly if
you want to be of assistance. Thanks in advance.
I'll volunteer if you like. While I don't know much about the
military, I am British and I do have a good handle on most things
(including spelling).
|
Chromatix
Tuesday 8th February 2005 09:27 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| Now this is something I'm looking forward to reading. How will
two muggles and one witch defend themselves for the two minutes it
takes for the Order to arrive? I'm sure you'll do a good job of
telling it.
|
| Sunday 4th December 2005 07:56 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
Thank you for your review from so very long ago.
"The Granger Defense" here on PhoenixSong has been renamed "Great Scott, Potter, This is War!" and is now being continued through Harry's sixth year on this site. The next chapter after the Grangers defeated the Death Eaters has now been posted.
If you have read this elsewhere, the chapters starting with this one are being edited and rewritten in some parts.
I would be grateful to you if you consider continuing reading and reviewing.
Thanks again, and Cheers! |
Nundu
Tuesday 8th February 2005 07:03 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
Interesting read so far, but (accckkkk) an author's note in the middle of a story? I know your writings and I am sure you could find a better way to express this idea.
And I could beg to differ about the Seals. |
| Tuesday 8th February 2005 07:31 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
For that statement about the SAS, there isn't a member of a special weapons small unit fighting force in the world today that isn't lining up to whip by backside - even the SEALs and the SAS for including the other.
I could argue my case, but.... I always say that opinions are like noses, everyone had at least one.
If someone cares enough to start a thread to discuss this, let me know. Thanks for reviewing. |
Gridley
Tuesday 8th February 2005 06:54 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
Here's to the SAS and the Phantom Major.
Good start. Those poor Death Eaters... |
Oldwolf
Tuesday 8th February 2005 06:35 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| A very good story and a premise I've wanted to see explored for a long time now. I look forward to seeing what happens when the War of the Worlds starts. |
| Sunday 4th December 2005 07:56 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
Thank you for your review from so very long ago.
"The Granger Defense" here on PhoenixSong has been renamed "Great Scott, Potter, This is War!" and is now being continued through Harry's sixth year on this site. The next chapter after the Grangers defeated the Death Eaters has now been posted.
If you have read this elsewhere, the chapters starting with this one are being edited and rewritten in some parts.
I would be grateful to you if you consider continuing reading and reviewing.
Thanks again, and Cheers! |
amulder
Tuesday 8th February 2005 05:06 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
great build up. Great tension. Great use of different scene
cuts. Very nicely constructed background for the Grangers.
So often they're painted as a bit foppish and rather helpless. It
will be very interesting to see how this progresses.
One complaint - you've committed the newbie crime of embedding an
author note in the middle of the prose. Argh! I'm surprised
that your beta let that through. This could have been so easily
handled in the prose as well. For example: put in the elipses and
shift to Steph Granger's POV and have him observe that the 'obviously
distraught young woman could have taught his sargent a thing or two
about swearing.'
This story does raise a very interesting point, and that is about
communication speed. I find myself wondering just what methods
Dumbledore might have put in place after OOTP to improve communications
speed.
Oh, and I just thought of something else... what about the bodyguard that should have been waiting outside of Harry's place?
thanks for sharing, I look forward to the next installment
|
unople
Tuesday 8th February 2005 01:38 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
Hey. I like it. Does Hermione have her wand with her at this point? Is
her father home at the point the chapter left off? I look foward to the
next chapter, to see where this story is going. Is this going to be a
full-length fic?
|
dave gerecke
Tuesday 8th February 2005 01:26 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| Go for it. Muggles Rule!
dave
|
Tarkas
Tuesday 8th February 2005 01:09 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
Off to a very interesting start... Like many of the other reviewers, I look forward to seeing some DEs being handed their backsides, and the more thoroughly the better.
One minor problem with this story is that I think you need a Brit-picker; there are some glaring Americanisms in this chapter (like Steph being "lettered" -- sorry, we don't do that here) that detract from the flow of the writing -- to me, at least. This could be a problem in the future if you base the Grangers' actions on what an American could do in the US; things like weapons are much more tightly controlled here, and the police, etc., react far more strongly to their use -- not necessarily in kind, so you might not get SWAT teams descending on the scene, but Steph could find himself in a lot of legal trouble if he defends himself and his family that way and TPTB are not satisfied with the situation. It might require Ministry intervention, and the Grangers are only lowly Muggles, after all; at least Lucius Moronfoy is in Azkaban, or Fudge would probably call for the whole family to be Kissed.
And as for the SAS being equivalent to USN SEALs... well, I won't tell them that it you don't. I suspect that either side would find the comparison insulting -- or say they did, anyway. |
| Sunday 4th December 2005 08:04 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
Dear Phil - - Thank you for your review from so very long ago.
"The Granger Defense" here on PhoenixSong has been renamed "Great Scott, Potter, This is War!" and is now being continued through Harry's sixth year on this site. The next chapter after the Grangers defeated the Death Eaters has now been posted.
I cannot remember if you have been reading this elsewhere. If so, the chapters starting with this one are being edited and rewritten in some parts. It will not be continued elsewhere.
I would be grateful to you if you consider continuing reading and reviewing.
Thanks again, and Cheers! |
jabarber69
Tuesday 8th February 2005 01:03 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| Whoa! you got my attention! this is going to be one hell of a story! It is already quite interesting, cant wait to see what happens. Also have to say this is quite well written and the plot is one of a kind... please don't take long to update! |
| Sunday 4th December 2005 08:04 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
Thank you for your review from so very long ago.
"The Granger Defense" here on PhoenixSong has been renamed "Great Scott, Potter, This is War!" and is now being continued through Harry's sixth year on this site. The next chapter after the Grangers defeated the Death Eaters has now been posted.
If you have read this elsewhere, the chapters starting with this one are being edited and rewritten in some parts.
I would be grateful to you if you consider continuing reading and reviewing.
Thanks again, and Cheers! |
Rhymes With Orange
Monday 7th February 2005 22:57 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
Ah-ha! Another Military Meets Magic tale!
I love these yarns. Quite possibly my favorite sub-genre. And this looks like it's gonna be a *good* one.
Plus, I love Granger tales. We don't really ever see much of the elder Grangers in canon, and it leaves one with a rather large bit of curiousity about what pair of humans could have together produced such a remarkable specimen as Hermione.
Bravo! More, more! |
| Sunday 4th December 2005 08:05 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
Thank you for your review from so very long ago.
"The Granger Defense" here on PhoenixSong has been renamed "Great Scott, Potter, This is War!" and is now being continued through Harry's sixth year on this site. The next chapter after the Grangers defeated the Death Eaters has now been posted.
If you have read this elsewhere, the chapters starting with this one are being edited and rewritten in some parts.
I would be grateful to you if you consider continuing reading and reviewing.
Thanks again, and Cheers! |
Bandersnatch
Monday 7th February 2005 22:07 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
Great start. I love that Mr Granger will not just be a "useless muggle" if it comes down to it. Also can't wait to see what he will come up with to combat magic, I don't think that an ex-SAS member will sit idly by while someone casts a spell on him or his family. I have often wondered about this myself, its good to see someone with talent writing about it. |
| Sunday 4th December 2005 08:06 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
Thank you for your review from so very long ago. I conceived this storyline when I was pondering how I might defend myself against DEs.
"The Granger Defense" here on PhoenixSong has been renamed "Great Scott, Potter, This is War!" and is now being continued through Harry's sixth year on this site. The next chapter after the Grangers defeated the Death Eaters has now been posted.
If you have read this elsewhere, the chapters starting with this one are being edited and rewritten in some parts.
I would be grateful to you if you consider continuing reading and reviewing.
Thanks again, and Cheers! |
Kelleypen
Monday 7th February 2005 22:00 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
I LOVED the interaction with Harry and Petunia--on July 16, let it be so! Excellent fic. I can't wait to read more. |
| Tuesday 8th February 2005 04:25 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
Most of the fanfic I have read have either made the Dursley all of a sudden cuddly, turned Vernon into a physical child abuser, or just killed them. Petunia's reactions in OotP gave me some hope for something more hopeful yet realistic.
Thanks for the kind words. |
seamusisevil
Monday 7th February 2005 21:58 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
hey another great story
ok so this makes two of your storys that im hooked on
keep up the good work and keep that muse handy |
Dice
Monday 7th February 2005 21:28 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| Well, you have got me hooked. I love muggles that can defend themselves.
|
B. Nonymous
Monday 7th February 2005 21:26 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| Oh cool! It's Modern Military Meets Magic (as opposed to historical magic meets military)! Given what Dolohov did to Hermione, I can't WAIT to see how former-SAS-er Granger handles him (assuming Hermione doesn't zap him first).
Y'know, this is the first story here to force me to sign up here (spilling my B. Nonymity a bit more...). Just thought you ought to know. |
| Tuesday 8th February 2005 04:21 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
| Your kind words mean quite a bit. I have enjoyed your "Over Here" series with the AWG. |
huffboy36
Monday 7th February 2005 20:05 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
| Well, well, well. Dr. Granger is a former member of the SAS? I'm impressed. You have my attention.
|
PzkwVIb
Monday 7th February 2005 19:52 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
Fantastic first chapter. I like the background info on Mr. Granger. I give it an O
One spelling error I noticed: "elusions" instead of "illusions
|
| Sunday 4th December 2005 08:06 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
Thank you for your review from so very long ago.
"The Granger Defense" here on PhoenixSong has been renamed "Great Scott, Potter, This is War!" and is now being continued through Harry's sixth year on this site. The next chapter after the Grangers defeated the Death Eaters has now been posted.
If you have read this elsewhere, the chapters starting with this one are being edited and rewritten in some parts.
I would be grateful to you if you consider continuing reading and reviewing.
Thanks again, and Cheers! |
Robert Owen
Monday 7th February 2005 19:44 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
Excellent first chapter. Nice flashback and good accurate history of the SAS. I also liked the added tidbits of expalination regarding Hermione's past. One thing though, in 1977, Meg wouldn't know about the South Essex as Sharpe's Eagle wasn't published until 1981.
Robert |
| Monday 7th February 2005 21:09 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
It is nice to find a Richard Sharpe fan in the Harry Potter fanfic world.
I am not much for crossover, however, considering the fact that the South Essex and Richard Sharpe were fighting Bonaparte around 1809 to 1816, the South Essex, also known as the Prince of Wales Own, had a glorious heritage dating back for over 150 years in 1977. |
takon65
Monday 7th February 2005 18:19 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” |
I really enjoyed your story!
S.A.S.= Navy Seals? oh my. My Dad told me of thier Grandparents, the UDT's. Fine soldiers, but he doubted thier sanity.
Keep up the great work,
Takon |
| Sunday 4th December 2005 08:07 | “Great Scott, Potter, This is War!” (Author Response) |
Thank you for your review from so very long ago.
"The Granger Defense" here on PhoenixSong has been renamed "Great Scott, Potter, This is War!" and is now being continued through Harry's sixth year on this site. The next chapter after the Grangers defeated the Death Eaters has now been posted.
If you have read this elsewhere, the chapters starting with this one are being edited and rewritten in some parts.
I would be grateful to you if you consider continuing reading and reviewing.
Thanks again, and Cheers! |
