ibelieveintruelove
Tuesday 13th March 2007 19:29 | Neither Can Live |
Excellent! I'm glad you showed some heart in Petunia and Dudley, I've always thought that there was a little something more to the Dursleys that we had never been able to see.
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GryffindorDragon
Tuesday 31st October 2006 17:24 | Neither Can Live |
Rather a good response to Petunia -- not quite willing to admit she was wrong, is she? still wanting to claim she'd done something grand in giving him a cupboard for a bedroom and feeding him scraps. Well, pity is probably the right response.
I like Charlie putting Vernon in his place .
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| Wednesday 1st November 2006 14:22 | Neither Can Live (Author Response) |
JKR says there's no hope for Petunia or Vernon, but I think book 5 shows us that there might be. Still, it will be harder for her.
I like Charlie. Period. I had to put him in there |
Melindaleo
Sunday 17th September 2006 07:11 | Neither Can Live |
| Ooh, interesting start. Yay, Charlie. I think an angry Charlie would be an angry sight to behold. I like the conversation with Dudley - interesting. I'm far less willing to forgive Petunia, however. Harry was only 15 MONTHS old when he came to the Dursleys - her own nephew. I'll always think of her as much worst than Vernon, actually. You're writing is engaging and I'm eager for more. |
| Monday 18th September 2006 08:24 | Neither Can Live (Author Response) |
For some reason, I always pattern Charlie after David Caruso from NYPD Blue or CSI fame. No idea why. He just seems like the quiet type who you just don't want to have mad at you.
JK Rowling said in an interview that there was hope for Dudley, but not for Petunia or Vernon. Personally, I think Vernon needs to be hit by the Knight Bus... twice. But Petunia's actions in OotP give me a little bit of hope for her as well. |
daniel_r_crazy22
Tuesday 27th June 2006 12:22 | Neither Can Live |
| Cool. Charlie came to save the day. Well sort of. |
southpaw
Sunday 25th June 2006 20:01 | Neither Can Live |
| HEY KAMALIA...I only know of one Kalamazoo. I miss Michigan being my home, been away for over two years, thanks!!! Actually reading these books remind me of MI everytime because of all the cold and dreary afternoons in coffee shops with "squashy" chairs. I picture them warmly everytime the weather turns foul in the books!!! |
cckeimig
Thursday 11th May 2006 15:40 | Neither Can Live |
| Oh, brilliant start! Absolutely fantastic! |
aschowin
Thursday 11th May 2006 02:02 | Neither Can Live |
| Interesting chapter. It's strange, I think, that so many of us want to see some sort of resolution between Harry and the Dursley's. Many of the stories that I've read that address this take the idea to an extreme, either too soft, or a great overreaction. You've written a very fair and realistic scene in this chapter, and you've written it very well. I liked Harry standing up for himself, it shows him maturing into a man. But I enjoyed the compassion that you gave him just as much. That's why he's the hero. Great job. |
Evelyn
Tuesday 2nd May 2006 13:28 | Neither Can Live |
Harry had even gone as far as to steal bacon from Vernon's plate. I laughed at that image...
Very touching start. Dudley took me by surprise, but it didn't seem unrealistic at all. His behaviour was really well written; Petunia's, too...
I'm looking forward to the explanations in the next chapter. |
| Tuesday 2nd May 2006 14:01 | Neither Can Live (Author Response) |
I'm looking forward to the explanations in the next chapter.
You may blame Uncle Vernon for the next chapter. However, I believe explanations will be provided. If the characters cooperate |
critmo
Tuesday 2nd May 2006 12:04 | Neither Can Live |
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critmo
Tuesday 2nd May 2006 11:38 | Neither Can Live |
1. I'm not an expert in etiquette, but I don't think there's anything despicable about raising questions you're perfectly right to be interested in.
2. Sorry about having you guys at each other's throats because of my smart assing.
3. More to the point: I find Dudley confusing because we don't get to know WHAT made him think. Okay, he says that he - in contrast to Harry - has no real friends, but what made him come to this conclusion? The way you write it, it comes from nothing, maybe it's not important for the story as a whole, however, it's important if we want to understand Dudley, and that's important because D. makes H. go to his aunt. Plus you could have used it as a device to set D. and H. more clearly apart.
It's basically the same with Petunia. I'm not certain what she wants from Harry. It's okay that she sways between defiance and hope for H.'s sympathy, however, she should decide at some point. If you don't want her to decide, that's okay as well, however, it could help to clearly state that H. (e.g.) finds her confusing as well. That way the reader could (perhaps) accept this more easily.
4. It's just an impression of mine, so don't put too much weight on it.
5. One thing I forgot in my first review (It's your fault I came back to mention it!) is: Where are Ron and Hermione? They promised to stay with Harry at the Dursleys.
Hope that helps. Yours, critmo |
| Tuesday 2nd May 2006 11:58 | Neither Can Live (Author Response) |
1) I'm probably just nervous. This is my first story to ever be posted in such a high traffic location, really.
2) I hope it didn't seem that I was at anyone's throat. I just wanted to mention that several people could have caught that and didn't.
3) The problem with the perspective of this story, as it's preventing itself to me, is that we can only know what Harry knows. It is told just behind his head (as opposed to through his eyes), mainly because Harry is the only one "talking" to me. So I can't explain why Dudley had this sudden change, or Petunia. I might be able to later, as this is not their last appearance.
4) It is a good point!
5) I'm going to take the Author's Way Out™(pp) and say that plans changed, since Harry realized he would be able to leave sooner rather than later, and since the wedding was happening so quickly, he just went alone and got his "time with the Dursley's" over with. Which is to say, I was too lazy to write them in at this juncture.
Helps a lot! Thanks for bringing it up |
tanaxanth
Sunday 30th April 2006 22:00 | Neither Can Live |
Confusing behaviour from the Dursley's there, except Vernon, of course. I'll be interested to see the next chapter. - BTW, it's "Felix Felicis". "Felicitas" is the female form of the name "Felix", i.e. "the lucky one".
My Fault |
| Monday 1st May 2006 14:37 | Neither Can Live (Author Response) |
Confusing behaviour from the Dursley's there, except Vernon, of course. I'll be interested to see the next chapter. - BTW, it's "Felix Felicis". "Felicitas" is the female form of the name "Felix", i.e. "the lucky one".
My Fault
Both our faults, and my four pre-betas who will not point things like this out to me >.> |
critmo
Sunday 30th April 2006 09:51 | Neither Can Live |
| Sorry, forgot to log in. The last comment was mine. |
| Monday 1st May 2006 14:38 | Neither Can Live (Author Response) |
Confusing behaviour from the Dursley's there, except Vernon, of course. I'll be interested to see the next chapter. - BTW, it's "Felix Felicis". "Felicitas" is the female form of the name "Felix", i.e. "the lucky one".
May I ask what's confusing? (I'm not even sure if that's within etiquette to ask... the price of noobness.) |
Kamalia
Saturday 29th April 2006 18:43 | Neither Can Live |
| Very good! I especially like the way Harry treated his aunt - too many times do I see him just hexing her to Kalamazoo. Keep up the excellent work. |
IHateSnakes
Saturday 29th April 2006 00:12 | Neither Can Live |
| Good start. S. |
potternut190
Friday 28th April 2006 20:49 | Neither Can Live |
| Good start! |
fritz42
Friday 28th April 2006 17:08 | Neither Can Live |
| Interesting conversation between Harry and his aunt. I was glad to see that Harry was able to tell her a few things. But, an even more surprising conversation was between Harry and Dudley. Looks like Dudley had matured over OotP and HBP "time." I look forward to seeing where you will be taking us with your story. |
