TangoCharlie
Thursday 2nd October 2008 00:44 | Sunrise |
Another great chapter. Everyone is really in-character, which makes such a big difference. I love how you've captured the uncertainty of the time - again, helps create an atmosphere for us lucky readers.
To use an old clich, there was a real rollercoaster of emotions in this chapter, and your beautiful language made it so easy to rise every up and down.
All of the dialogue was great, but there were a couple of really powerful moments, especially when Harry was talking to George, and then his speech at the end. Hard not to get emotional reading that! I particular like the idea of Fred joining the marauders in the next life... Very sweet
: ) |
majolie
Sunday 20th July 2008 21:12 | Sunrise |
| Another wonderful chapter. |
| Tuesday 12th August 2008 19:12 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
You make me smile! Thanks for reading and reviewing. |
Grandma Kate
Friday 28th September 2007 14:27 | Sunrise |
Lovely! I enjoyed the two couples banter and affection but I think my favorite part was Harry and George= "I'm not really any good at helping with stuff like this, but I'm here. If you need an ear…" Harry closed his eyes, sucked in a breath and cursed his own stupidity for making such a comment in light of George's injury.
To his surprise, George merely snorted. "Good one, Harry. Fred would be proud."
Also-
...Marauders are riding again. And I'd like to think they've picked up a fourth member."
A grin slowly spread across George's face, as he raised his wand and refilled their glasses. "To those who never truly leave us," he said, raising his goblet.
"To those who never truly leave us," the group chorused.
|
| Friday 28th September 2007 21:10 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thank you very much for the nice review!
I've always thought that Gred and Forge had a gallows [remember the reuseable hang man?] sense of humor. I wanted to bring that out.
And since they were the spiritual descendants of the Marauders, it makes sense that in afterlife, James, Sirius and Remus would invite Fred to join in on their next great adventure. |
harry_ginnyfan
Monday 17th September 2007 20:56 | Sunrise |
I liked this story very much. I will be looking forward to the next chapter!
Cheers! |
| Tuesday 18th September 2007 20:50 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thank you very much! A for you.
I am working on Chapter 3 as I type this. I hope to have it posted very soon. I hope both the length and the substance will make up for the long delay between postings. |
Indigo
Thursday 6th September 2007 15:34 | Sunrise |
| I laughed, I cried, I had a wonderful time reading your story. Well done and thank you! |
| Friday 7th September 2007 03:13 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thank you very much for your kind words.
There's more to come! |
Delfino
Tuesday 4th September 2007 16:07 | Sunrise |
| A fourth member. I'm crying! |
| Friday 7th September 2007 03:13 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thanks for reading and reviewing!
I know I was pretty devastated that JKR killed Fred. This was just my way of coping. |
ibelieveintruelove
Monday 3rd September 2007 21:43 | Sunrise |
| Oh bravo, bravo!! This chapter had me smiling with happiness and laughing in glee. By the end I wanted to break down and cry - it was so sad! Do you plan on writing your next chapters to be centered around the funerals? I think it would be a lovely tribute but also a very depressing chapter to write, whichever way you want to look at it. I just cannot wait to see what you decide to do next with this beautiful story, update soon! |
| Tuesday 4th September 2007 11:20 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thanks for your kind words. I'm officially on .
In response to your question, the next chapter will indeed focus on some of the funerals. I'll let you guess which ones, and may even surprise you by the time it's over.
Again, thanks very much for reading and reviewing. |
BaileyIC
Monday 3rd September 2007 18:24 | Sunrise |
I hope this is not the end of your story, is it?
I f I interpreted DH correctly, Hogwarts was no picnic to attend while the Trio was gone. They were harrassed, abused and even tortured with the Cruciatis just for getting a dentention. As Ginny , Luna and Neville are mentioned as the ringleaders of the student resistance, I am sure she experienced the same curse as Hermione, possibly more.
Why didn't Harry ask Ginny how she spent her year? He knew it was Hogwarts Hell from overhearing the conversation with Dean and company in DH, even the part about students being punished cruelly.
I hope you have them all go back for their seventh year. |
| Tuesday 4th September 2007 11:19 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thanks for reading and for the nice review!
NO, this isn't the end of the story. There are still 3-4 more chapters to go. I'm writing Chapter 3 at this time. It's just taking a lot longer than I had planned. How the folks who write novel-length fics do it, I'll never know.
Anyway, the fic will touch briefly on some of the stuff at Hogwarts while Harry was away. Remember, there are a number of trials to be conducted, and the Ministry will need testimony. |
Wolf\\\'s Scream
Saturday 1st September 2007 11:15 | Sunrise |
Quite good; I particularly liked HArry's contribution tothe last scene, as well as Ginny's recollection of her offer to help get Harry changed form clothes to PJs (while he was sleeping).
I note that in the discussion of "what to do," visiting Andromeda & Teddy didn't come up as a possibility. Perhaps the following day will provide an opportunity for a reminder on that score. |
| Sunday 2nd September 2007 20:17 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thank you!
I thought it would be a nice to have try to embarass a bit when he woke up.
Fear not about Andromeda and Teddy. They both will make an appearance very soon.
Thanks for reading and reviewing. |
pakismith
Friday 31st August 2007 10:25 | Sunrise |
Very good chapter indeed.
"I don't know what to do next or whant I want to" repetead several times I think is the most realistic way for Harry and Friends. How someone starts to live again after all that happened?
Well I think all your readers are waiting for your reply in a way of new updated chapter.
Thanks for sharing with us. |
| Sunday 2nd September 2007 20:14 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thank you for the nice review!
I'm working on the third chapter, though I keep getting sidetracked by various other obligations. But I can promise that this story will be updated regularly.
Again, thanks for reading and reviewing. |
Melindaleo
Wednesday 29th August 2007 20:12 | Sunrise |
| Great chapter! You already know how much I enjoy this one. I particularly liked the connection between Harry and George. Harry really can help him to deal with some of the loss. I can't wait for more. |
| Thursday 30th August 2007 21:16 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Well it's only fair that I should do some writing that pleases you, given the enjoyment your work has given me!
Also, now's your chance to extract revenge for all those months I spent pestering you for the next chapter of "The Seventh Horcrux."
Seriously, though, thanks for all of your help on this and other projects and for being an inspiration to hacks like me across the web. |
AriesGirl
Wednesday 29th August 2007 17:27 | Sunrise |
Finding George by the swimming pond was a strike of genious! (please excuse spelling)
I could feel what George was feeling I could see what George was seeing.
Being in a place that most likely brought the twins so much joy as children.
looking at his own reflection in the water as to feel ... not quite so alone. Listening to Freds voice in his head. It was a very moving moment. You could also go somewhere with this.
You have talent for this writing thing. And the people you have as betas are very talented also. This story is worth going past chapter 4. I would like to see what you do with everyone for a 7th and graduating year. Seniors are so silly. With all the games to go to ,class pranks etc... I have a good feeling between you and your betas, You could realy make this book very exciteing , if your brave enough.
You may add me to your fan list. |
| Thursday 30th August 2007 21:13 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thank you so much for the kind words. A to you.
Let me take a moment here to thank those who've helped me with my writing. Arnel has done a wonderful job betaing my work and has an eagle owl's eye for canon mistakes, which is crucial to establishing the story's credibility. Melindaleo and The Seeker have done an excellent job of getting me out of plot jams and keeping things moving. I highly recommend taking a look at the stories all of them have written for this and other sites.
I think this story will end up a bit longer than four chapters. There's the potential for at least seven - which would allow a nice wrap-up of the plot threads left dangling in "Deathly Hallows." Beyond that, we'll have to see. A fic looking at their last year at Hogwarts would be fun. The problem is, I can't figure out what sort of adventure to send them on! I'm open to suggestions!
Thank you very much for wanting to go on a fan list for me. I never dreamed when I decided to submit a story that this many people would consider it worth reading. |
ginnybass
Wednesday 29th August 2007 17:25 | Sunrise |
| while i was reading this, i was lost in the ideas you put out there. i thought 19 yrs was a long time to wonder about....these stories are very entertaining. yours is well written and easy to read. looking forward to seeing more of your story[ies]. |
prongsjr.
Wednesday 29th August 2007 14:59 | Sunrise |
| Ah, don't worry about a "reasonable amount of time"! It's YOUR story after all, and you should write it exactly the way you want to. I'm just here to lend you some encouragement along the way! |
Lily Flower
Wednesday 29th August 2007 02:10 | Sunrise |
| So sad yet so happy! I like it. I really hope you plan on doing more. |
| Wednesday 29th August 2007 07:39 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Fear not! There are more chapters to come.
Seriously, I am workign on the third chapter. Thanks for nice reveiw. |
prongsjr.
Tuesday 28th August 2007 22:30 | Sunrise |
| Oh, I'm so glad you're doing this!! You've managed to capture all of their personalities they way I've come to picture them, and the whole story flows very well. I really can't wait for the rest!! Keep at it, you're doing great! |
| Wednesday 29th August 2007 07:38 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thank you for the nice review!
Trying to keep everyone in character is one of the hardest parts of this for me. I'm glad what I've done so far meets with your approval.
I'm using this week to get going on the third chapter. I hope I can get it posted in a reasonable amount of time.
|
brios
Tuesday 28th August 2007 21:47 | Sunrise |
| Aww this was what I needed after a very, very long day of regular day job and part-time night job. You had me with my eyes waterying every few paragraphs. It's so good to have a nice cry once in a while, it cleanses the soul. Excelent story. |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 22:24 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thank you for your kindness.
The fact that you and other readers have connected in such a way with something I wrote is, frankly, astonishing to me, and I am deeply touched by your words.
Thanks again for reading and reviewing. |
nerd2006
Tuesday 28th August 2007 20:36 | Sunrise |
| I'm really enjoying this story, it's quite good. |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 21:02 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thank you!
Now I've just got to get busy and write the next chapter! |
pottervader
Tuesday 28th August 2007 18:18 | Sunrise |
| That was a wonderful chapter. I liked the way you're melding it slowly into canon. I can't wait for the next chapter. |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 19:23 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
You're most kind!
I'm amazed how many words it often takes for me to express what I'm thinking. Whew! It can make the writing process painful. |
Pendu
Tuesday 28th August 2007 15:25 | Sunrise |
I haven't read a story yet that is so very J.K.-like. It is so good and so well written! Thank you.
Do you know there is a very tiny mistake? I'm so sorry, I really don't want to complain, but it's Dolores Umbridge (not Delores). Sorry, just want to help. |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 16:53 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
You are way too kind!
As for the mistake - Ooops! Thanks for pointing that out. I do want to get this stuff right. I'll make a note to remember that, as her name will crop up in a future chapter. I don't think she'll have a good time in the little world I'm constructing. |
LoneWolfe
Tuesday 28th August 2007 12:44 | Sunrise |
Excellent! I really love how you've taken the time to explore the various plot threads. I also like that you've tossed in the idea of the trio (and Ginny, of course) returning to Hogwarts for their last year.
"Besides," she added, an almost seductive expression crossing her face, "don't you think it would be fun to go back? I'm sure a lot of our classmates will, and we could have plenty of… quality time together. After school, it's all work and responsibility."
Love Ron's reaction to this line!
Harry and George's scene made me teary... *sniff* |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 14:53 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Well thank you for the glowing review!
It's always a fun to have break the mold every now and then. I figure she's allowed to be a - much more restrained, of course - hormonal teenager as well. I confess, I borrowed Ron's reaction straight from the OotP movie, but I loved that moment.
I enjoyed writing Harry and George's scene together for reasons detailed in an earlier response.
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. |
narumi
Tuesday 28th August 2007 11:22 | Sunrise |
| Wow, this was just great! All of the little things I wished JKR had time to wrap up- you did it, and each and every one was exactly how I'd want it. Perfect! |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 11:38 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
| Wow! That's heady praise indeed! I would never began to compare myself to JKR or to many of the other fine wrtiers on this site. But I appreciate the kind review! |
uni1mom
Tuesday 28th August 2007 10:51 | Sunrise |
"Purebloods, half-bloods and Muggle-borns all fought side-by-side to stop Riddle. We had help from the centaurs, from the house-elves and even from a giant.”
You might consider adding warewolves. Remus really deserves some credit. |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 11:15 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Don't worry, Remus will get his day in the sun very soon.
Thanks for reading! |
debbie1407
Tuesday 28th August 2007 09:32 | Sunrise |
hey ghost writer!!
just wanted to say that i'm really loving the story so far!! like yourself i enjoyed the epilogue that Jo gave us but i too would have liked just another chapter directly after the battle to wrap up some of the loose ends, whether they return to Hogwarts, a chance for & to reconnect etc. I'm glad you're giving us the chance to read it!! like pretty much everybody else on thios page i really loved the line about the 4th Maurauder! i definitely think they would have accepted Fred with open arms!!
I'm really excited about the next chapter!!! Bring it on!!!
|
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 09:39 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Hey Debbie!
I'm glad you're enjoying this little tale. I hadn't intended to jump back into writing so soon after DH, but the opening Jo left was just to tempting to pass up.
The whole thing about the 4th Marauder just came to me one night as I was drifting off to sleep. Gred and Forge certainly were the Marauder's spiritual descendants. As another reviewer mentioned, I doubt will get a lot of peace now, but who knows?
Thanks very much for the nice review. |
xphoenixfirex
Tuesday 28th August 2007 09:03 | Sunrise |
| Oh wow, the end had me in tears, very beautifully written. I also enjoy the newfound passion between and Having spent years letting those feelings build up, they finally get it together. Sometimes people who are grieving use intimacy as a coping mechanism, and I could see them both taking every opportunity to be close. Fred would want them to be happy, not morose. Great work! |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 09:34 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for the nice review.
I wanted to have a bit more and interaction. I've always felt a little bit cheated that they took so long to acknowledge and act on their feelings for each other. Of course, I also realize you can't have everything in the books. That's what fan fic is for!
I agree that Fred would want to see nad together, not least because it would offer excellent opportunities for heckling his younger brother. |
BabyRuth
Tuesday 28th August 2007 09:01 | Sunrise |
| This is a marvelous story! Hope it's not finished yet! |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 09:31 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
You're too kind!
No, the story's not finished. I've got more chapters plotted. Now I've just got to get busy writing. |
freckleforce93
Tuesday 28th August 2007 08:46 | Sunrise |
| This is the best story ever! Are you going to continue to hogwarts? |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 09:30 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
That hissing you hear is the sound of helium filling my head and swelling it beyond all reason. Wow! What an ego boost!
Seriously, though, thanks for the kind review. If you think this is the best story ever, you need to read some more stuff on this sight. There are many authors here far more talented than I.
As for continuing to Hogwarts... I've gotten an ending plotted, but who knows? |
lantis222
Tuesday 28th August 2007 08:09 | Sunrise |
To those who never truly leave us
I absolutely agree, I don't think they ever truly leave us. I also really liked Harry describing the Marauders riding again, with a fourth member, it was beautiful. Of all the deaths in Deathly Hallows, Fred's is the only one we really weren't able to mourn properly. Thank you for giving us that chance. I'm excited for the next chapter, you wrap it all up beautifully. |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 09:25 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Four years ago, my grandmother died. She suffered from short-term memory loss, among other things. She had been married to my grandfather for 65 years. He had died a few years earlier.
During the years when she was alone, she often asked us, "Where is George?" We would have to tell her something along the lines of, "He's not here." That would usually be followed by tears. She never was truly happy after he was gone.
The sitter who stayed with her at the nursing home told us that the night she died, she began calling out her children's names and then for my grandfather. The sitter asked her something like, "Mrs. Balentine, where is George." My grandmother replied, "There he is, he is coming." And then she simply stopped breathing.
I believe that JKR got it write - those we love never truly leave us, and they do wait for us when our time comes to cross over.
Sorry for the disertation here, but that ran heavily though my mind as I was writing the end of this chapter. |
hjdevnull
Tuesday 28th August 2007 06:51 | Sunrise |
| I like the idea of Fred joining the Marauders in the afterlife. Poor Severus Snape, you just know he's not safe up there. =) |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 09:14 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thanks for reviewing!
Yeah, I like the idea of the Marauders finding an enthusiastic accomplice to replace the traitor.
I'm sure will be on the receiving end of some pranks. However, I'd also like to think he won't be such a sour-faced git in the afterlife. Incidentally, although we won't be visiting the afterlife in this fic, there will be some closure with and . |
Author By Night
Tuesday 28th August 2007 06:23 | Sunrise |
I really enjoyed this. I especially liked Harry and George's talk - how Harry approached him, and how George is still capable of some humor.
The only thing that I was not sure about was Ron snogging Hermione several times a day. It just doesn't seem like very good taste when his brother's just been murdered, as well as some other people he knows. I'm not saying he has to become celibate for the rest of his life, or that he can't have a snog session or two, but Fred's death just seems like it would be too huge a blow for him to be in the mood for a lot of snogging. |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 09:12 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
I appreciate the positive review, as well as the constructive criticism. You show hallmarks of 's wisdom.
I understand your point about the kissing between Ron and Hermione. I'm operating on the premise that Ron had the two days that Harry was asleep to vent some of his pain and frustration. I also think Fred would heartily approve of Ron and Hermione sneaking off to the broomshed, but would be mad that George wasn't properly taking the mickey out of them for it. |
scraps2treasures
Tuesday 28th August 2007 05:27 | Sunrise |
Another wonderful chapter! Thank you for writing this. I am truly enjoying it.
I really loved the line about the marauders picking up a 4th member. |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 09:07 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thank you very much for the positive review. A to you!
The line about Fred and the Marauders just popped into my head one night was I was laying in bed. I think it fits. I can imagine James, Sirius and Lupin welcoming Fred with open arms, while Lily [Cliche Alert] just rolls her eyes. |
myketje
Tuesday 28th August 2007 02:58 | Sunrise |
It was even better as the first chapter!! And I already loved that one!
Keep it up, I think there are many threads to come...
Kiss Kiss
xxx
mee |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 09:05 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Wow! You're also making me ! Thanks for your kind words.
I've found that writing something like this is a challenge because there are so many threads I want to tie up. |
joshua
Tuesday 28th August 2007 00:54 | Sunrise |
| great work i love your story. When are you going to update the next part |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 09:04 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thanks for reading.
You're probably going to be at me, but I haven't started writing the next installment. I do have the whole story plotted out, but Real Life keeps cutting into my writing time. I can promise that I won't abandon this tale. By hook or by crook, I'll get it done eventually. |
sherylyn
Tuesday 28th August 2007 00:41 | Sunrise |
This is really beautiful, and I love how you've balanced the sorrow with the joy that it's all OVER, finally. That feeling of "what do we do now?" seems so realistic, and the whole "mood" of this chapter (and the characters) seems so "true".
Really, really well done!! |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 09:02 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
You're too kind! You're making me !
I've tried here to balance out the emotions. I imagine it would be a roller coaster for people to have gone through what our favorite characters did. |
TheKiD
Tuesday 28th August 2007 00:41 | Sunrise |
| Great chapter! I've enjoyed it a great deal. I really liked how you made Harry tell Ginny he loves her (yeah well, not directly, but he came close to telling it as well). Harry helping George is great as well. Very well written chapter, keep going on! |
| Tuesday 28th August 2007 08:59 | Sunrise (Author Response) |
Thanks for reading and for the kind review!
I think you'll find that in future chapters, Harry will be even clearer in his feelings.
I really did want for Harry to reach out to George. I'm still devestated that JKR killed Fred. Hence the line about the Marauders. |
