SomeGuyFawkes
Tuesday 8th April 2008 22:24 | Natural Order |
Wow, another fantabulous chapter.
It's like you've boiled the fat from NoFP and left a clear, concise, but still very engaging tale in its place.
Not sure I approve of the mental suicide/murder pact the Hat and Harry are in. But, it works in context, nonetheless.
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aroy924
Wednesday 19th December 2007 17:05 | Natural Order |
| I love it! Keep it up, I can't get enough! |
| Tuesday 8th January 2008 00:06 | Natural Order (Author Response) |
| Glad you're enjoying the story. Cheers! |
Chatmandu
Wednesday 19th December 2007 07:53 | Natural Order |
Thanks for the note on DMSO. It was distracting for that bit of the story as I kept thinking "where do I know that from."
You know, I almost felt sorry for Snape in canon. The only person Dumbledore used and abused worse was Harry. Almost because it is hard to feel sorry for that a(#$*le. But at least you killed him quicker than I would.
The contrast you show between Harry's concerns (or lack thereof) for Malfoy versus Kreacher is interesting. What is the difference between a homicidal maniac and a righteous avenger? Where does the insanity lie? With Harry's deep and serious PTSD issues, or with the accepted corruption of the government by all in the later part of the Voldemort Interregnum?
Is chapter five going to be set 26 years later? |
| Tuesday 8th January 2008 00:06 | Natural Order (Author Response) |
It's amusing to see how many people comment on the DMSO bit. I think it shows an age break in the readership...
Snape did get a quick offing in this one, didn't he? Don't worry. He won't be so lucky in another story you read. Smirk.
All of your questions are, pleasingly, perfect. And no, it's not 26 years later. It's a lifetime later. Ha! |
ravenclawchaser66
Tuesday 18th December 2007 20:10 | Natural Order |
I'm a big fan of Viridian's NoFP, and I was a little worried at first that you were just going to copy his story arc in condensed form, but that definitely is not the case. I like what you've done here. After surviving a war, it's not surprising that Harry would be ruthless enough to kill people like Malfoy without giving them a chance. Your use of Kreacher is also pretty ingenious. House elves can get around pretty well, can't they? I'm looking forward to the last chapter of this. Thanks for writing!
Jay |
| Tuesday 8th January 2008 00:04 | Natural Order (Author Response) |
| Glad you enjoyed it. As I discussed in the extensive A/N on Ch5, the issues of why and where and how fast were actually rather involved. That said, it was deliberately aimed to be a short story, and not (yet another) epic-length thing for me to work on. It's not fair to my main story readers for me to delve into long side projects. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts... and I guess we're all waiting for the next NoFP installment. |
brad
Tuesday 18th December 2007 19:46 | Natural Order |
When had Harry seen Regulus before?
So, you/Harry murdered Snape after all? Okay, he was a , but he was a 'good' , on Harry's side -- and Harry knew that. I'm not sure Harry was morally correct in killing him.
"I can’t go around like this, and I certainly can’t try to keep the friendships and hopes for the future with my old future memories." - I really don't see why not? Pretty quickly the new timeline would diverge from the old, and he'd be able to keep the two memory tracks separate in his mind. This is a point on which you've clearly decided to break ranks with the other future!Harry stories.
"And Ginny. I can’t be in love with her anymore" -- yay!!!
"... but can you leave my attraction to her?" -- hmmmph.
(Oh, in reply to your last response, I'm here because I quite like some OBHWF stories and authors, but I dislike how it turned out in canon, and detest canon!Ginny. Still, she's very young here in your story; another reason for Harry to keep his memories, so he can steer her away from what she became in canon?!) |
| Tuesday 8th January 2008 00:03 | Natural Order (Author Response) |
If you recall in Bk7, Harry found a photograh of the Q-team of Slyth from RAB's Hoggy days. That was the prior "seeing" of Regulus, and thus the mechanism to positive identification here.
In this timeline, Harry did not know Snape was good. In Bk7, that happens at the very end -- the revelation of the side Snape took. As stated in this story, that never happened, and thus Harry had no way to know. That said, you're free to feel he was over the line. He is, mentally, quite far beyond the line, as discussed in the Ch5 A/N.
As for keeping the memories, I'd argue that he literally can't -- it's an impediment to any hope for a reasonable approximation of sanity. Thus, they need to go. And then he'd need to expunge his recollection of what he's done to impact the timeline so, for those too would be an impediment in many ways.
I'll ignore the Ginny bits -- but if you read Ch5 at FFnet, you'll see a one-word difference in the ending that you may like quite a bit. Or rather, an omission of exactly one word. My betas required me to keep it in for PS and SIYE, though, and I can understand why. I still think you're a tad touched in the head yourself given your preferences to find you here for the big acronym thingy. Cheers! |
blue artemis
Tuesday 18th December 2007 19:30 | Natural Order |
| I rather liked that chapter. I'm glad that Harry got rid of the Horcruxes and of Voldie. And I like that the hat is going to erase the memories. But I hope it works out like he hoped. |
| Monday 7th January 2008 23:52 | Natural Order (Author Response) |
| Glad you enjoyed it, and found the results interesting. All is revealed in Ch5, to a point.. |
narumi
Tuesday 18th December 2007 15:47 | Natural Order |
| Great! I love the Sorting Hat! I was really excited to see that you used DMSO to get the Basilisk venom into the scar- that was really clever! I'm a chemist, so anytime I see a little science being pulled into fanfics I get all excited. DMSO isn't just dangerous because of it's accidental effects (like you mentioned with the pesticides)- I've heard of cases of chemistry lab students using DMSO/Ethanol in an attempt to get 'drunk' by just pouring the solution on themselves! Needless to say, that's not a safe thing to do! |
| Monday 7th January 2008 23:51 | Natural Order (Author Response) |
| Ah, a chemist. Being an engineer by trade, what can I say? I like logic and science in my stories, as long as it is all plausible in some way. My one question was whether the DMSO would react to the venom compounds and cause some kind of odd reaction. I'm glad you didn't throw any flags at me, but then, has anyone tried to poison someone else that way? I've heard of giving people wood alcohol for poisoning, but that was ingested directly... Now, your story is frightening in a whole different dimension. Makes me think of the Darwin awards, sadly. Glad you enjoyed the story, though. Cheers! |
Memory King
Tuesday 18th December 2007 13:15 | Natural Order |
| Outstanding, both Snape and Quirrell diserved that, and I loved how you dealt with Voldemort. I'm eagerly looking forward to the final installment of this story. Keep writing! |
| Monday 7th January 2008 23:49 | Natural Order (Author Response) |
| Glad you enjoyed it. As for the writing, well, I've only got another 1.5M words or so to go on Echoes, so no worries there, eh? Cheers. |
girlspell
Tuesday 18th December 2007 10:52 | Natural Order |
Well, I was kind of delighted that Kreacher would help Harry with the horcrux fragment in him , but I sure didn't see the demise of LV coming through Quirrell. Really exciting sequence, but a bit disappointed Snape was offed so quickly. Can you tell I like the way you write Snape?
What I liked so much about the ending was the combination of being funny and sad. It's just me, but I really like elements like that in my stories.
Thank you for the information about DMSO. I'm going to talk to my husband about that. He's a chemical engineer. I vaguely recall hearing about it. It might not have been at school. I was very adept at avoiding Chemistry anyway I could. |
| Monday 7th January 2008 23:49 | Natural Order (Author Response) |
| Snape was offed quickly, yes, but then if you had a horde of really hacked off Acromantulas coming after you, and you were on foot, how long do you think you would last? Remember that Harry an co. only got away because they were in a car... or here, on a broom. As for the mix of funny/sad/and-others, I have to agree -- I like things that are more than just one dimensional. I like incomplete things, where I can reflect and ponder and decide what comes next to some extent. It's nice to have some level of closure, but trying to spell out the Gloriously Fulfilled And Happy And Wonderful And Lovely And Fluffy destiny is ... just sad, but for another reason. Anyway, DMSO is a fun compound. I had a rather disturbing reviewer make a comment about it -- was that your husband? Shudder. DMSO and Ethanol. Makes me cringe just thinking about it. Glad you enjoyed it, when all was said and done. Cheers! |
lantis222
Tuesday 18th December 2007 09:33 | Natural Order |
I liked it a lot. They say hind site is 20/20. I think that in this case we see a little of that and I like that Harry is able to use that. I also really like that Harry accepts the fact that he's not all that well mentally and that St. Mungo's might just be the place for him. I also really like the solution that the Sorting Hat (I keep wanting to call him Floppy from EoP) had for Harry.
Anyway, very well done. I really like your style of writing. I can't wait to see how this all pans out in the end. One more to go, I hope is gets posted soon.
PS
Death by Acromantula? Poor Snape. I almost feel bad for him. |
| Monday 7th January 2008 23:46 | Natural Order (Author Response) |
| The Sorting Hat (I had to erase "Floppy" from this story a few times) is a bit of work, isn't it? That said, yes, Harry knows he's unhinged on many levels, and has just been holding it together to get the ball rolling in the right direction. And feeling sorry for Snape? Gahhh! No! Never! And if you see a trend in my stories for how some people get treated, well, just enjoy Echoes when those characters get to their final fates... Cheers! |
nas4a2
Monday 17th December 2007 23:58 | Natural Order |
| that was very interesting what happen in the stories and i would like to see what's next |
| Monday 7th January 2008 23:44 | Natural Order (Author Response) |
| Glad you enjoyed it. |
thwaaack
Monday 17th December 2007 23:42 | Natural Order |
| Another interesting chapter. I have to say the end result was kind of anti-climatic. I wasn't expecting Harry to AK Quirrel-Mort, and you made it sound like he couldn't just simply kill Quirrel to finish it earlier in the chapter, but he also had to destroy Voldie's spirit once it fled Quirrel's body. I'm also glad you included a blurb about what the DMSO is in your notes. I actually popped open a browser and went to Google to find out about it myself, before I continued reading. It will be interesting to find out what the hat allows and what it will take away. I'm looking forward to the next chapter! |
| Monday 7th January 2008 23:44 | Natural Order (Author Response) |
| Glad you enjoyed the chapter, even if you found it anti-climactic. The problem was two-fold -- Harry had to have Qmort's body killed so the V-essence would try to flee, and then he needed to kill that essence. AK is a soul-killing bit o' magic, as demonstrated in canon, so that was really all he could use at that point. Letting the big hairy multi-legged things do in Qmort's physical form left him free for the coup, as it were. And the superior numbers meant that the powerful magics that Qmort could bring to bear -- on foot, facing a horde of very hacked off and large predators -- would be unlikely to let him escape. Ah well. As for DMSO, it's funny how life's little experiences come back to you when writing these things. I feel like anyone that knows me personally can pick up on the bits in the stories and just scream out "I know this guy!" but so it goes. Cheers! |
