jimbocous
Saturday 10th June 2017 04:09 | Natural Order |
| Nicely done. Thanks! |
webster
Thursday 20th May 2010 08:57 | Natural Order |
| This was great. I have read NOFP ( at least as fas as Virdian has completed ) and while I agree there are similar tones between your story and his, this was still a very original and extremely fun read! Keep up the great writing! |
DaniKay
Monday 16th February 2009 16:46 | Natural Order |
all I can say, is bloody brilliant!! I've read fics before where Harry went back in time, and while this was far shorter than I would've liked haha, it was brilliant. great job! can't wait for more on Echoes!
DaniKay
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mythic77
Sunday 13th July 2008 14:52 | Natural Order |
| Well written, and certainly not a "run of the mill" re-do fic. |
basketkiwi
Wednesday 28th May 2008 21:42 | Natural Order |
| Your exploration of JKR's world is fantastic to read, and really original, I think. I'm sorry I haven't reviewed on your other stories but all that I've read so far are fascinating. Just to reassure, the inspiration from NoFP may be obvious but this is certainly its own story and not a knock-off. It's a rather happy ending without losing its realism and the possibility of trouble later on, and that's one of the best kinds of endings. Sorry for the bumbling review but I wanted to pay my respects to admirable writing. Thanks for sharing this with all of us! |
SomeGuyFawkes
Tuesday 8th April 2008 23:10 | Natural Order |
Out. Freaking. Standing!
This is in the top-ten of fanfics, for sure, and I've read many hundreds. This would have been nigh-on perfect if some of the endnote information was incorporated into the story. (Until we hit the notes, one or two of the omissions smacked of cheating.)
Anyway, I didn't want to niggle over plot holes (ripping good story telling covers a multitude of sins) and you covered most issues, well, in your endnotes.
I agree with your "ripples of change" statements and the story is a plausible example of how that might work.
Modern combat theory would say that future!Harry was well inside everybody's OODA loop. One of the things that irritated me most about NoFP, besides the fact that it will never be finished, is that Harry sat on his haunches way too much.
It's almost criminal that stories this good are hidden on less well know sites. Took me years to find it!
Thank you for a wonderful read.
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Astrid
Sunday 20th January 2008 22:15 | Natural Order |
| Good job! At first I thought this would just a be a bad NoFP, but you took the time travel idea and made it your own. Harry made some cold, calculated choices, but he did it to save all his friends and the world. Good work!!! |
pyromain
Monday 7th January 2008 17:02 | Natural Order |
| well this was something different. At times I didn't really like the story (kill of malfoy) but I still kept reading the story in they end it was a good story. Well balanced even with the extreme's. And the foot notes where a kind of conformation. |
cckeimig
Wednesday 2nd January 2008 20:32 | Natural Order |
| Excellent story. Congratulations on a job well done! |
kenman884
Tuesday 1st January 2008 03:31 | Natural Order |
| These time-travel fics tickle me in a place tickled only by the occassional episode of Star Trek (really, they don't do time travel enough). I have to say, I prefer the longer ones, but this was definitely the most poetic I've read. Especially the ending. Avid Harry/Ginny shipper that I am, I really enjoyed the simple, poetic ending of Ginny running into Harry's arms. In a few short sentences, you showed her vibrancy and love of life and Harry, and Harry's peace of mind and love of her. So thank you for that small, but interesting diversion. |
jeanne
Sunday 30th December 2007 17:57 | Natural Order |
| In reading the reviews, I found that nobody caught on to the fact that the allusions by Harry and DD re: a job or problem yet to be done or faced, was way deep into their subconscious mind. It was just a niggling little long ago left over bothersome thought with no roots to hold it down or give it credence. At least that,s how I see it anyway. Original review still stands. |
jeanne
Sunday 30th December 2007 16:01 | Natural Order |
| What a superb fic. Ever so well written, and I truly loved it. The allusion to the extinguished 'prophesy', was great. Harry and DD both seem to have the same feeling of unfinished business. Great job. Loved each and every chapter. |
noylj
Tuesday 25th December 2007 01:41 | Natural Order |
| Great story. Wish you could have filled in some of the missing years. Was Ron a prat over Ginny at all? Did Herms ever realize that she could do so much better than Ron? Did Harry cheer on Cedric at the TWT? Is it really worth having Molly as a mother-in-law? |
cyberx86
Sunday 23rd December 2007 04:29 | Natural Order |
A good friend of mine, Ruby, informed me that this story would make a great read, and having just followed her advice, I can't help but agree - I am quite impressed by the quality of this story.
This was certainly a fresh take on a well-explored topic - one which made for a very interesting read. Really, not a lot by way of negatives - frankly, I just wish it was longer. While definitely unexpected, the mummified Malfoy, was an interesting plot twist. Other items such as a different approach to bypassing the locket's protections, the roosters for the basilisk, and even the destruction of the last horcrux were well thought out and original. It is possible that I missed it, however, I am curious why Harry was unable to use his dreamless sleep charm after the sorting hat's therapy. I would surmise that it is a consequence of his actions - that the hat sought cultivate his conscience. One last point, I loved the biological references - DMSO (I did wonder how the topical application of venom was effective) and the concept of predation made a great story even better to read.
Definitely one to be bookmarked!
-Chris |
stitchnsign
Friday 21st December 2007 23:03 | Natural Order |
| Wow! Powerful fanfic. I truly enjoyed this version of HP. I didn't like the gratuitous violence but it tied in well. I also appreciate your explanations at the end of the story. Great Job! and Thanks! |
The_Critic
Friday 21st December 2007 10:39 | Natural Order |
YAY! Its FINISHED!
SMILEY OVERLOAD!!! |
Chatmandu
Friday 21st December 2007 06:58 | Natural Order |
All is well, huh?
Thanks for the notes at the end. They confirmed I got most of the points in the story. I'm not sure if I should be pleased or disturbed. But I have hope I am in the hydrogen category.
A hint of more darkness just beyond the horizon? In canon there was a mere decade between Grindelwald's defeat and the emergence of "Lord Voldemort," two decades before trouble started anew. Just as NO!Harry still has echos of insanity (Ooh, that could be a neat story title :rolleyes, not everything is perfect in the perfect Wizard society. Sort of like real life eh? At least the heros got the girls. Or maybe the heros got the boys. |
blue artemis
Thursday 20th December 2007 21:39 | Natural Order |
| I liked it. I like the fact that we have this "all is well" ending, too. And I love NoFP. |
The_Critic
Thursday 20th December 2007 19:23 | Natural Order |
YAY! Its FINISHED!
SMILEY OVERLOAD!!! |
jonathan-avery
Thursday 20th December 2007 16:35 | Natural Order |
| Brava, brava, bravissima. . . top notch work Josh and a great ending. i have always been a fan of the more open ending that leaves the audience with their own imagination to fill out the unimportant points of the tale. Also, i had no problem following the development and reasons for Harry to be doing what he was doing. Still, I like dreading your notes and thoughts at the end. |
Sssith
Thursday 20th December 2007 14:38 | Natural Order |
Very interesting and enjoyable little fic.
Thanks.
Curious....you mentioned Viridian/MaxFic/foo...who is 'foo'?
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Gardengirl
Thursday 20th December 2007 13:44 | Natural Order |
| I really enjoyed this! I didn't pick up so much about Harry being insane, per se, though he was obviously very worked up and strongly motivated to rewrite events. I thought you did a great job, especially with keeping it so tight. Thanks! |
girlspell
Thursday 20th December 2007 13:44 | Natural Order |
This is some kind of story. The events made Harry insane, but just being around the people he cared for helped him go back from the edge. I'm so glad you put Dumbledore and the hat as the true witness to what happen. I feel (and hope) that Harry will remember all of it. The was an implication of that and I'm glad you put it in.
Very glad you ended Ginny like that. I love a strong and vibrant Ginny to play of Harry and you do write them very well.
I'm only sorry it's the end. I know you have more plot bunnies up your sleeve. One more thing about your writing. Getting better and better. Good writers get reactions out of people good or bad. |
melkior
Thursday 20th December 2007 13:39 | Natural Order |
After the second chapter I was reasonably sure about how you "cheated", and I see that my guess was correct, though, everything considered, it wasn't too hard to figure that out.
But I don't think it can be really be considered cheating. It would have been cheating in the original time frame. This one brought a new set of rules, and after all, the "cheating" itself was a part of the Natural Order.
Insanity came, insanity receded but it left its toll. Not really a high price to pay for a brighter future, but I believe it's important a price exists. Another natural order I guess.
I really enjoyed reading this fic, but even more I enjoyed distracting myself with possible "what-ifs" this story inspired. Actually I think I should probably forget all of this as I can already see those long ears and that sneaky little nose, and I'm sure it isn't Easter.
Dino |
arjay187
Thursday 20th December 2007 12:47 | Natural Order |
| Well I have finished your story and have to say it was a very fun read. Perhaps a sequel is in order if a dark lord rises and floppy must work his mojo. Please keep your stories coming. |
SatusDee
Thursday 20th December 2007 11:27 | Natural Order |
Hey again, Moshy. How do. First of all congrats on finishing and thankyou for answering my comment.
Perhaps I was too hasty in judging your fic after the first chapter, however I am unsure about how effective the pace of the fic was. I understand the Augustus reference as a student of classics so I will give you the benefit of the doubt, more likely it was well thought out rather than a case of "let's-make-Harry-do-everything-and-live-happily-ever-after" syndrome.
The Viridian classic comment. It doesn't have to be a first to be a classic although I'll have a look around for MaxFic and foo for other comparisons. This fic is very different; perhaps Viridian wouldn't have the guts to push Harry over the edge, the NoFP Harry is cold and cynical, not deranged and sadistic- hence the demoralised- moral as in Harry doesn't torture (he is, in essence, the 'good guy') not that it takes another's work.
Like I just said, I believe Harry was a sadist. Though the diadem explanation is a good one, insanity doesn't quite push those inground morals in my mind. In this fic, perhaps Harry WAS looking forward to killing himself, i'm not so sure about NoFP. He had no other choice I suppose.
Powerful Harry. Well... i'm not so sure about wandless magic but then we can bring up some good fics- say NoFP with the merged core and The Grey Maiden series.
Not bothered with the 'playing God' thing. Accidents in casualities and paradoxes suck. Playing god is fun but as NoFP demonstrated, major changes make major ripples.
I was expecting a re-do fic somehow. Harry's treatment of Voldy somehow shocked me until I realised the cause.
Oh, and I am NOT a casual reader =]
SD |
Arnel
Thursday 20th December 2007 09:54 | Natural Order |
| And so this story ends. You know what... the best part of this particular chapter was getting to read your Author's Notes at the end. They clarified certain points that had been nagging me all along and I appreciate the opportunity to read your opinions on certain things. I've enjoyed this story very much and because I liked this story so much I'm going back and reading your other works! This story definitely deserves |
thwaaack
Thursday 20th December 2007 09:13 | Natural Order |
| Another good chapter, and you really buttoned it up well. I'm assuming that Harry had Malfoy Manor converted into a museum? And not just any Museum, but one showcasing Muggle artifacts and other displays that effectively "knock purebloods down another peg or two". The only thing you left out is what Harry will be doing when he's done with school. I suspect he has no desire to be an Auror now as he hasn't had to deal with darkness as he had in Canon, and you make it sound like your Harry is more like his father and the Marauders, as he is talking about a prank he pulled (apparently on Ginny) Granted, this leaves the interpretation wide open. |
lantis222
Thursday 20th December 2007 08:24 | Natural Order |
I really liked it. I'm not sure what additional comments to make as you have made them all in the author's notes.
All in all this has been a wonderful ride and I'm glad that you have written it. Keep up the good work.
Until next chapter of EoP... |
oliversgal
Thursday 20th December 2007 08:06 | Natural Order |
| awesome ending and I loved your commentary after it did really clear up the situation. I found this to be a really interesting read and simple. As much as I loved JK's version it all could have been so simple and he could have had a less trying life. Great Job! |
Hoss
Thursday 20th December 2007 06:33 | Natural Order |
| Short and sweet and well thouhgt out. And all around good read. Thanks |
LaurenDC
Thursday 20th December 2007 04:20 | Natural Order |
That was interesting. Hmmm...your Ginny quick to hex? Good to see she's strong even though there was no chamber to make her that way. Obviously from ch1 I knew that this could not be compared to Viridian's. It's a new one in and of itself, I for one am glad that this was done and Harry was able to kill him right away. Some of those, while wonderful stories, wait until GOF, but why couldn't Harry seek him out earlier? Thank you for all the clear ups at the bottom, they make up for the chapter being so short. Anyway, really good story!
Lauren |
