Guenivere
Saturday 21st November 2009 13:39 | Slight Return |
| I like it |
| Saturday 21st November 2009 18:04 | Slight Return (Author Response) |
| Thank you! |
Seaspray
Saturday 21st November 2009 07:40 | Slight Return |
Thanks Dogstar! I did indeed have a wonderful day.... Thank you so much for sending the fic. I thought I would reply to you here reagrding the fic at least since my email is acting up For some reason it really hates me typing anything in hotmail, it gets totally garbled,
I admit I generally wouldn't read next gen stuff, perhaps because of the impression I get that it all a bit... like the epilogue really (which I didn't mind, but was quite a closer of doors to me). I'm glad I have you to show me otherwise. Your characters are delightfully complicated and flawed. I loved Rose - the impression I got of her was someone outwardly cool collected and perhaps a little hard - but underneath it all you can see someone a lot like Hermione, except perhaps more sensitive - conscientiously trying to do the right thing and not hurt her parents yet resenting the sacrifice. And Scorpius too is lovely - you can see shades of his father in him (I love that he is a lawyer) - he can be callous, detaching himself from his parents problems, but there is also a real sweetness to him. And you know he has intergrity if Hermione is giving him a job
You do write complicated relationships well: they alternate between sniping at each other to reminiscing... I like how Scorpius goes from wanting to hex Rose into a hole in the ground and then is happy that she can't possibly leave for another two courses *rolls eyes*. You really created a sense of tension with your use of detail... the ice cream plopping, Scorpius' consciousness of Rose's body, her closeness etc... and the way tyou know these too have s long history, there are always hints of their childhood peeping through their talk.
I loved Narcissa here too.... you can see the emptiness of having clung to outgrown tradition for so long... and her obsessive love for lucius really poisoning everything for her. Poor Scorpius! I loved the vision of the Malfoy past, Scorpius' memories of the 'stuffy red brick house' how difficult it must be to grow up with all those ghosts, all that fallen pride.
I did guess that Rose was referring to Malfoy Manor in some way at the end... poor Ron I can imagine the idea of his daughter being connected to the family that tortured Hermione would be very difficult (especially if Scorpius bears the family resemblance). Though oddly Scorpius did remind me quite a bit of a more jaded version of Ron in this fic... describing Draco as pathetic, lol. They could be kindred spirits really. One thing I did wonder though: is the house Scorpius takes Rose to Malfoy Manor or just another old malfor dwelling? If it was the manor I wonder if you could make something of Rose's awareness that something terrible had happened to her parents there.... If you wanted to clarify the malfoy manor reference you could do so through that... though I think it does work well as it stands.
It is interesting to read about Ron and Hermione as parents... and parents of an adult at that. You can tell Rose has a close bond with both of them but at the same time you can see that they've made mistakes, and Rose has picked up of a lot of the worry and tension left over from the war.
The ending you definitely did leave the read with a sense of irresolution, and of wanting more (specifically to know if Scorpius and Rose finally manage to figure things out! lol). That's not neccesarily a bad thing though I think there are always a lot of reader, especially in fanfic who like things neatly wrapped up but this did feel right for the story you were telling which was essentially about frustration, missed chances, confusion....
Basically, I want to say yay for Jofic..... killer characterisation, atmosphere, and *romance*... I've missed the QoA! Also I will email you properly soon when I get stupid msn to work..... |
| Saturday 21st November 2009 09:38 | Slight Return (Author Response) |
Wow - this is incredible. What a lovely thing to find on a lazy Saturday. You are the best reader in the entire world, I hope you know that. It's unbelievable sweet and generous that you would take the time not just to read the fic but to write such an amazing, thoughtful, insightful, positive review and one that actually contains that rarely-encountered legendary beast - CONCRIT! God, it's like a pure hit of something very, very delicious and probably illegal.
I'm so pleased you enjoyed Scorp and Rose. I never had a thought of writing next gen fic until I was forced to spend so much time puzzling out the kids' characters and how they would fit into their various families when I was writing the radio play. Of course, I completely fell in love with them in the process and the fun thing is that it's easier with these characters not to worry about the rough edges and let them be less likeable and more outspoken because of not writing during the whole HP fandom batshit insane thing. These two are the obvious ship being set up at the end of DH, and my mind just went there. Also, it was the perfect opportunity to think and write out my own response to the Malfoy Manor chapter with the right amount of distance (i.e. nearly 30 years in the timeline and 2 years from when I first read it which shows how much it affected me!)
You put your finger on exactly what I would need to do to make the reference clearer - THANK YOU! I knew the scene with Narcissa was lacking something and now you've said it, it's obvious that it's Rose's reaction to being in the place her mother was tortured. I wrote the first part of the story up to that point originally as a lighter, more romantic story, before I quite realised where it was going. The last section became darker in the writing and when I went back I really struggled to work out how I could make the transition smoother. Now, it's obvious and I can see it wouldn't even be that hard.
I miss QofA like mad. I have more on that, so I'll say it elsewhere.
THANK YOU AWESOME ONE. |
St Margarets
Tuesday 10th November 2009 17:14 | Slight Return |
Oh, Jo, I haven't read you radio play and I wish I had before I read this story. I would have more of a sense of how Al figures into Rose and Scorpius's friendship. I got a *very* good idea of Rose's characterization from this story and Scorpius's too. I like how you made her tall like Ron, but smart and principled and defensive like Hermione.
The UST was off the charts with these two and I found myself rooting for both of them. Oh, JKR left a horrible tangled mess for the next generation to sort out. Since you can't send them off to America as exchange students they have to deal with their parents and each other as best they can. This was a lovely glimpse into the complexities of these characters. You had so many layers going here. It's been lovely to read your writing again! Thanks. |
| Thursday 12th November 2009 00:58 | Slight Return (Author Response) |
Hi! Thanks you so much for reading. Honestly, there's no need to read the radio play (unless you want to ). Albus is rather absent from this story, it's true - I could analyse his character endlessly, but I guess the key thing to know for this is that Rose and Scorpius love him absolutely and defer to him even though he's quieter and less sure of himself in some ways than either of them.
UST off the charts - I'm incredibly flattered! *restrains self from drivelling incoherently*
It took me a long time to write this - I wanted it to be a romantic piece but knew I also wanted to explore the mess of the left by the previous generation that's hinted at (or glossed over depending on your point of view) in the Epilogue. I couldn't deal with such painful issues lightly, so I had to really think about the implications of the past affecting these two. It was very interesting to try and work with different tones and deal with my own feelings about that terrible scene at Malfoy Manor in DH - I'm so, so glad you liked it. |
RIPHedwig
Thursday 29th October 2009 08:48 | Slight Return |
more more more!
loved it awww B |
| Friday 30th October 2009 05:07 | Slight Return (Author Response) |
| Thank you! I'm happy you liked it |
gymnastgal19
Wednesday 28th October 2009 12:20 | Slight Return |
| wow... nice story! |
| Thursday 29th October 2009 01:38 | Slight Return (Author Response) |
| Thank you! |
hagridsheart
Saturday 24th October 2009 09:14 | Slight Return |
great story!! wish you'd carry on though.
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| Saturday 24th October 2009 12:46 | Slight Return (Author Response) |
| Thank you! This particular story is complete, but I haven't ruled out writing more in the future. |
TreyFury97
Friday 23rd October 2009 12:41 | Slight Return |
| More...I'm sorry...that was great. But I need more. To see where this rabbit hole leads. What house the new "Trio" was in. (I'm thinking Slytherin, but I could be wrong). |
| Saturday 24th October 2009 12:44 | Slight Return (Author Response) |
| Thanks for reading! I don't have more of this story (as yet anyway), but I do have one set quite a bit earlier that answers your question about the Houses. PM me if you're interested. |
Dad
Friday 23rd October 2009 08:33 | Slight Return |
| Interesting style of writing. It had a sort of intimate feeling, as if you were there watching the two of them. Having said that, I do not like the open ending. It should have a governent health warning at the begining, saying open ended stories cause high blood preasue! |
| Saturday 24th October 2009 12:41 | Slight Return (Author Response) |
| Thank you for reading and reviewing. I'm happy you mentioned the intimate feeling - that's what I was going for. Sorry for the high blood pressure. |
jmcmutt
Thursday 22nd October 2009 19:57 | Slight Return |
| I am very interested to see how Scorpius's family handles the questions. I enjoyed this story very much. |
kelleypen
Thursday 22nd October 2009 08:57 | Slight Return |
| Hmmn... completed story, open ending. I liked your writing very much and I like that neither of them are completely enamored with Hermione--neither am I. But if you're not going to write what Scorpius finds out, can you at least let us know in the reviews? |
| Thursday 22nd October 2009 10:30 | Slight Return (Author Response) |
Hi Kelley! Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I can tell you that in this story the information Hermione gives Rose is very specific and refers to the night she and Ron and Harry were captured and taken to Malfoy Manor. I hoped it was implied in the story, but maybe it's not as obvious as I thought...
In this story, the children may or may not know other things about their parents' generation - it depends on what the reader thinks they could have absorbed while growing up in their respective families, or learned / discovered for themselves after becoming friends at school. |
ngayonatkailanman
Wednesday 21st October 2009 22:31 | Slight Return |
| Very good writing strategy. You engaged the readers' minds. You made readers think beyond the obvious. |
| Thursday 22nd October 2009 08:17 | Slight Return (Author Response) |
| Thank you - what a great comment! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. |
maxzook
Wednesday 21st October 2009 18:24 | Slight Return |
I'm amused that I seem to be the first commenter to acknowledge that this story is marked as COMPLETED!
I like open-ended fiction in general, and I hate it that so many fics assume that everything has to be wrapped up in a pretty bow.
Congratulations on avoiding the cliche. If you do write a sequel, do it because you have something more to say and not because you feel you have to. |
| Thursday 22nd October 2009 08:17 | Slight Return (Author Response) |
| It's great to hear that someone likes the open-ended nature of the story - as you recognised, it's sort of the whole point! Thank you very much for reading and commenting. |
Patches
Wednesday 21st October 2009 14:37 | Slight Return |
| This is a really good story. It is sad to think that Rose and Scorpious have been apart because their families are against them being together. I would like to see a resolution to this story. Thanks for writing. p |
| Thursday 22nd October 2009 08:14 | Slight Return (Author Response) |
| Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, despite the lack of clear resolution. |
saulick
Wednesday 21st October 2009 12:11 | Slight Return |
| Interesting, but I think I need a few more answers! |
| Thursday 22nd October 2009 02:55 | Slight Return (Author Response) |
| Thank you very much for reading and leaving a review. Sorry I didn't provide more answers |
pottervader
Wednesday 21st October 2009 07:55 | Slight Return |
| That was good. I've always liked Rose/Scorpius stories since reading the epilogue in DH. It's going to be an interesting story as Scorpius tries to find out what Rose knows from his dad. I wonder if Draco is willing to tell that tale. I can't wait to see what happens when Scorpius knows the truth. Update soon. |
| Thursday 22nd October 2009 02:54 | Slight Return (Author Response) |
| There are a lot of ways it could go from here and who can say how things will turn out for Rose and Scorpius? Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you enjoyed it. |
