senyah mastery
Monday 18th October 2010 16:30 | Harry Potter: Sacrifice |
I will have to reread this chapter if you would like me to point out the errors I was talking about. Minor things really, something like ..... so so did this a then they did that..... its the a that throws me off cause it doesn't belong there.... something like that.... if you would like i can just copy paste it into a email and email you if you want..... I will change the color of the words I am talking about. My Email is senyahmastery@yahoo.com.
Lyrad Senyah
Faithful Slytherin |
senyah mastery
Friday 15th October 2010 14:51 | Harry Potter: Sacrifice |
Great chapter! I like how Adam and Ginny use the broom to get across the lake, but why didn't they summon the broom once they were on land? Even if the charms on the broom were failing they can always renew them later. I'm sure that it would be cheaper to renew the charms on a broom then buy a new one. Either way though, great chapter. One other thing, please work on your wording a bit, it is sometimes hard to read because of the way you word things.. such as having a sentence structured wrong or having a word in there twice when its only needed once. That is all!
Lyrad Senyah
Faithful Slytherin |
| Saturday 16th October 2010 03:10 | Harry Potter: Sacrifice (Author Response) |
| Thanks! I assumed that the broom had been destroyed by the Inferi. Could you advise on which bits you found difficult to read? I do go through the chapters in detail before they are posted. |
JustAFan
Monday 11th October 2010 22:51 | Harry Potter: Sacrifice |
| Oh... nicely done. ;-) |
| Tuesday 12th October 2010 10:37 | Harry Potter: Sacrifice (Author Response) |
| Thanks! |
Patches
Monday 11th October 2010 16:46 | Harry Potter: Sacrifice |
| Wow! This is quite an adventure. They found the horcrux but at what cost? Quite a cliffy. I'm glad Harry can apparate now. I hope Ginny will be ok. I look forward to more of this story. p |
| Monday 11th October 2010 16:52 | Harry Potter: Sacrifice (Author Response) |
| Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it |
fl4v1nh4_
Monday 11th October 2010 11:20 | Harry Potter: Sacrifice |
| What a chapter!!! Loved it! I hope Ginny is ok! Poor Harry ...see his girlfriend sufering and then discover that it was for nothing since the horcrux is false... He sais he loved her Will she remember it? Can't wait for the next one!! |
fl4v1nh4_
Monday 11th October 2010 11:10 | Harry Potter: Sacrifice |
| What a chapter!!! Loved it! I hope Ginny is ok! Poor Harry ...see his girlfriend sufering and then discover that it was for nothing since the horcrux is false... He sais he loved her Will she remember it? Can't wait for the next one!! |
| Monday 11th October 2010 15:46 | Harry Potter: Sacrifice (Author Response) |
| Thanks! |
gymnastgal19
Monday 11th October 2010 11:03 | Harry Potter: Sacrifice |
nice chaper! I really like how your incorparting the books yet making it your own and adapting it to your story.
I hope that ginny's going to be ok. We never knew what would have happened with dumbledore because he died. |
| Monday 11th October 2010 15:46 | Harry Potter: Sacrifice (Author Response) |
| Thanks! |
