Okay since I didn't put a dedication in earlier here it is. I want to dedicate this to my friend Freddy and his mother who were tragically taken from us in the early morning of the 25 of April. You were a light that guided us through the rough times and will be remembered always. We loved you and will miss you.
June 15, 1998
Well today has been a fairly okay, for the half an hour I have been up. Harry crawled into my bed last night. We talked for a bit about how to tell Mum and Dad but other than that, nothing too serious; he just wanted me close and I didn't really mind having him that close. I think that was the best sleep I have ever gotten. I was just too worried that I would never be able to see him and be with him like this again. We have to tell Mum and Dad at some point and I really want to tell them now since Harry is only going to be here for a week. Jessica just came in and told me my parents are up, so I have to get Harry up and to his room before somebody finds him missing.
Is it wrong to be scared out of your mind that your father is going to kill the man you love? I don't think it is, but it might be considering who it is.
Harry and I had gone downstairs talking quietly so that nobody would hear us. Mum was in the kitchen cooking breakfast, so we stopped in there to say good morning and then went into the living room, where we found Jessica reading a book. I had to reintroduce them and I could tell from the small talk Jessica was making with Harry that she was trying really hard to not tell our big secret. After a few minutes Harry went back into the kitchen to try and nick some food from Mum, so I sat down to see what Jessica was reading.
"It's just a book on babies and such," she said when she saw me squinting at the spine to read the title, "I thought it would be nice to know some of these things."
My heart dropped. "How can babies be so much different?" I'd asked. She looked at me like I was joking. "Jessica!" I hissed. "What am I going to do? There's no way I can do this!"
But, before she could answer, Mum had come into the room telling us that the food was ready and to hurry up before the boys ate it all.
We had planned to tell Mum and Dad today about you, but I just could not tell them. There is so much to think about. Are Harry and I going to get married? Where we are going to stay? How are we going to raise you while he is training? So, we are holding off on telling them. I know that Hermione has not told Ron yet, and I know that's killing her. Ron is going to be furious with us, but he has no room to talk. We all know he and Hermione are very close.
June 17, 1998
Oh wow! Today was the day – and it was absolutely great. Well, maybe I should give you some background information; it makes it so much simpler to understand
Earlier this week, Harry and I were up in my room talking about the future. He wanted to marry me right then and there for you, but I didn't want to just get married because of you. I mean, neither of us disagreed on actually getting married; it was just when and where that was the problem.
He kept saying that he didn't understand why we couldn't just get married now and that nobody would have to know. I kept having to tell him that when he and I get married, I want to be able to tell people; plus, getting married right now would make me an even bigger target, and I have enough rumors to keep quiet about as it is. He knows it kills me that I can't tell anyone that we're even dating.
So then he says, "So let's make it official right now! You know I can take care of you."
I told him that he has to continue training and that I would not stand in the way of that and that when he'd finished training we can get married. Then I added that he should have to work towards marrying me, and that made him laugh a little.
"Why do you always have to make things so difficult?" He'd asked.
"Harry, you know I love you," I told him, "but things aren't right, now. I'll marry you when the timing is right."
It went on like that for a while until we finally agreed that I would stay here at the Burrow for now, while Harry's training, and when he'd finished with that we will be married.
It was so much fun having that conversation a couple of days ago, but the great one occurred tonight. Oh, and let's just say that Mum was not so happy. We sat down to one of our family dinners. Everybody was home, which was something very different for a Wednesday. Bill and Fleur were here with their two children, Gabrielle (2), named after Fleur's sister who was never found, and Anubis (6 months) and so were Charlie and his live in girlfriend Gwyneth and their baby Fabian (16 months). There were also Percy and his fiancée Penelope, George, Angelina, Fred, Ron, Hermione, Harry, Jessica and me. The table was very full. Who knows why we chose tonight to tell them. All through dinner it was very interesting. Fred as usual kept teasing Harry about the article that had appeared in the Prophet. When Harry had enough he leaned over and kindly informed him that protection would not be needed for a while. Which sent Fred off – Yelling about how Harry here felt he didn't need to be careful with me. Mum was right upset that Fred was mouthing off. Percy was taking charge like normal and telling Fred that he needed to shut up and denying Fred's relation to him. I did the most stupid thing I have done in a while: I just got up and yelled at Fred that it was none of his damn business if I was sleeping with Harry or not or whether we were doing it with protection.
Mum just stared at me, which is scary. At some point everybody left that room for their safety, but I have no idea when. Mum went into a rant about how I should be careful with my life or was I just trying to wind up pregnant. Then it all hit the fan and I yelled there was not use in trying to when I already was. I am still not sure if my brothers heard from outside the door (I know they were listening). I just broke down and cried into Harry's arms. At some point Mum came over and hugged me and was crying too, Dad just looked plain dumbfounded, and I could not decide if he was disappointed in me or if he was shocked. Mum told me that no way was I moving to a flat with Jessica. Then there were the questions of when we were getting married, and I know it upset her when I told her we were planning for a summer wedding two years from now. Well, must go. Tomorrow will be fun informing the rest of the family about the circumstances, plus your father is here to get me to sleep some more.
June 18, 1998
Ron was pounding at the door at seven this morning in search of Harry. Not how I wanted to tell him that I was sleeping with Harry, but I guess he knows now. Ron is screaming and being violent. I am not sure Hermione could have controlled him if she tried. Harry, Ron, and Hermione are leaving in a couple of days, so I guess I should be enjoying my time with them. Ron is not happy with the fact that you are on the way, Baby, and that we are not getting married, but someday he will see we were right in our choice. I think I need to talk to Dad soon, just to see how he feels. I told Jessica I was not moving out and I am not sure she wants to stick around here. But hey, it's okay. I know I can't expect her to stay with me. I am hoping to get a job soon, maybe some place close since it is a Muggle town. I am just worried about people seeing me and what I am going to say about being pregnant. I know I have to keep low for everybody's safety. I am worried again that something might happen to us. Why do I worry? But I must go; Harry is calling and I must inform the rest of the family.
Here is what I told my dear family. I figured this was better then them seeing me and flipping out.
Dear Bill, Fleur, Charlie, Gwyneth, Percy, Penelope, Fred and George,
Hello, how are you lot doing? I know it is very odd for me to be writing to you all in one letter, but I decided that it was easier to just write one letter and mass mail it to all of you. I am not sure if you guys heard last night or not, but I am going to tell you some news and hope you are happy for us. Harry and I are going to have a baby. And before you all start asking when the wedding is like I know my dear brother Percy will - There is not to be one ‘till the summer of two-thousand, at least, since I have decided to wait until he is done with his training. Don't complain either about us waiting, Perc, since you did not say much when Charlie started living with Gwen, and we all love Fabian either way. Don't harm Harry, either; he did not know when the stories were published, so he was not lying I just had not told him. So you guys are all clear I am due in January, so don't be pulling anything funny (especially you two, Fred and George). I love you all. We really want to keep this in the family so let's not tell everyone.
now, let's see how well the family does with it. I kind of wish I could talk to Gwen or Fleur, but they have their own lives and jobs. Gwen has her work with Charlie and the dragons, no matter how much Mum complains that it is dangerous. Fleur is off doing her job with the Ministry. Hermione is training, so it will just be me and Mum for a while … lets hope I can live with this.
June 20, 1998
Harry left this morning. Jessica has decided to move on with her life, maybe go home and see her family for a while. I really think it was because she did not think she could stay here with me while everything was changing around the world. I am going to write to Harry every day and send them with Ron's letters, since it is less obvious.
I hated him leaving. I hate being away from him. Harry promised me he would be back to see me as soon as possible. I am supposed to make sure I tell him all about what I am doing and not overexert myself. I swear, he and Mum are going to drive me crazy, and it's only been a couple of days. What would I give for somebody who does not tell me what to do!
I have not spoken to Dad for a while, which scares me. I was his baby girl, and now I feel like I have fallen from his graces. Baby, I am not sure what to do about us. I feel that if I stay here I am just putting myself on Mum and Dad. I told Harry I would be here so that they could help keep me safe, but this was not in the plan. Well, I must be going. Mum is calling for me.