A/N: I have talked to my beta, yes there will be a sequel.
The sky was a myriad of colors that beautiful summer afternoon. There were shades of purple and blue in the far north; the pink clashed wonderfully with the orange and red as it surrounded the setting sun. The bright orange sun was halfway hidden behind the hills of Ottery St. Catchpole, making it look like a semicircular ball of fire. It was only a couple of minutes until the violet washed out the red, and there I was standing against the fence Dad had made when I was six, watching the sun sink into oblivion.
With all the chaos going around the house from Harry's farewell party, I had quietly slipped outside to enjoy some time alone. I needed a quiet break from it all. I'd had enough time. with Charlie's sons, Fred's fireworks, Ron and Hermione's usual banter, and Mum's usual telling-offs. For now, I wanted it to be all me, just me.
Maybe it wasn't the chaos that drew me here to the forest. I mean, living inside that house for twenty-two years proved to me that I could endure any kind of noise that might come my way. Maybe I was just making excuses. Maybe I was really avoiding saying goodbye to him. Maybe I was just making myself believe that he's still coming back. Maybe I wasn't really ready to let him go.
I closed my eyes trying to block the tears that threatened to fall down my cheeks. No matter how much I tried to forget him, everything seems to keep coming back to where my heart belonged. I hated myself for feeling this way. It's been a long time since I've had that crush on him. But no matter what I do, my heart still continues to long for him—long for everything that is Harry.
"It's beautiful isn't it?"
I turned my back to look at the voice behind me. "Yes. I'm actually waiting for it to disappear behind the hills."
"Nice view," Harry said, still looking at the sun. "Molly's bringing out her cake. You'd better go back."
"I doubt it if I could get a piece," I chuckled, turning back to the sun. "My brothers and their offsprings are out there, Harry."
Harry laughed and looked at me. "Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. But I'm quite sure that one death glare from the famous Ginny Weasley will make them cower under your Mum's skirt."
I turned to him and slapped him playfully, grinning back nonetheless. "Easy on the insults, Potter. You don't want to leave with bat wings all over your face."
"Hmm, I'll try to remember that," he said, smiling adorably at me.
I couldn't help the blush that was creeping through my cheeks. Dammit. It has been a long time and he still has the power to do that to me.
"Why don't you go back," I said, avoiding his penetrating gaze. "You really don't want to miss Mum's cake."
Harry leaned his back on the fence and hid his hands inside the pockets of his trousers. "I think I'll just wait with you. And besides, I'm sure Molly's going to save a piece for me."
"Suit yourself," I whispered.
The two of us waited silently for the sun to set; my eyes fixed on the horizon, avoiding him completely. Seconds turned to minutes and I could not endure the silence any longer. I turned my head to see Harry's head tilted upwards, his eyes shut, his breathing controlled. He looked so peaceful; he looked like the Harry I always wanted him to be. I couldn't disturb him, but a part of me wanted to know what is inside his head.
"What are you thinking?" I suddenly asked, still staring at his face.
Harry smiled before opening his eyes and slowly turned. "Just things. Things I'm going to miss when I leave tomorrow."
"I'm sure I'm going to miss a lot of things here in Britain," he sighed.
"I've never been in Sydney, but I heard there are a lot of things to look forward to." I said happily, "I bet Sydney's going to even make you forget London."
He chuckled and leaned sideways, facing me. "Forget London? Ginny, I know ten years is a long time, but I doubt it if the years will make Sydney my new home."
"There's really nothing to miss here, you know," I chuckled.
He grinned, "Well, your Mum's cooking is one thing. Then Hermione's nagging, Ron's antics, your little snappish comments—"
"Hey, I'm not that bad!"
Harry laughed out loud. "It will be hard to forget you, Gin. I mean, you're the only one who has the guts to scream at me."
I could suddenly feel the heat rush to my cheeks, "Well, Hermione—"
"But Hermione always did it with caution," he smiled mischievously at me.
"Fine, I'm the tactless one," I said, rolling my eyes at Harry's laughing face. "But at least the tactlessness knocked some sense into that thick skull of yours!"
"I never said it was a bad thing," he said softly.
"Flattery will never get you to anything, Potter," I said suddenly, trying my best to hide the sudden quaver in my voice at his words.
He looked down and raised his eyes timidly to meet mine. He looked so bashful; I could just melt into those eyes. "Don't worry. I know that flattering you never got me anywhere."
Those words struck me hard. I absolutely didn't understand his words, and his sudden bashfulness was not the Harry I've been goofing around with for years. I opened my mouth to say something, but all sense left me. I was left staring at him like a goldfish. Nice one, Gin. I felt so stupid, I looked away from him.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking, Ginny," Harry started, his eyes boring holes in my forehead.
With a sense of trepidation, I looked back at him, "About what?"
"Ron, Hermione, your family, you. Things about us." he said, looking down. "You know, with me leaving tomorrow and everything."
"Well, there are a lot of memories to choose from."
"No it's not that," he said looking into my eyes again. "It's more than that."
My mind went blank. My heart was beating so hard, I was afraid it might burst out of my chest. I was just looking at Harry, unable to say something. Why would he think about us with just twenty-four hours before he leaves? I don't want to be hopeful but with the way my heart is acting, I don't know what to think of something else.
"We've been through a lot; you and I both know it," he said, looking down at his feet again. "I mean, we've known each other for eleven years. And eleven years is a long time. I mean, after Ron and Hermione discovered their feelings for each other, you and I did everything together. After sixth year, it was always the two of us."
"Yes," I said, grinning at him mischievously. "Especially those months planning pranks to use on your two best friends."
"Oh yeah," he chuckled, raising his eyebrows at me. "How could I forget that?"
"Yes, Harry," I said, grinning back. "We were quite a tandem back then."
"The thing is, Ginny," Harry said, his smile faltering. "For eleven years, I've known you and after seventh year, you were the only woman in my life. I really hope you know that by now."
"And you were the only man in mine, Harry," I whispered croakily, trying hard not to cry.
"And then, I went to Auror training," he said moving forward still looking at me so our noses almost touched. "But throughout those years, I was still thinking about you."
I was still looking intently into his eyes, still unable to say something. He was just inches away from me, and it took me all of the strength I could muster not to kiss him. I could feel him right in front of me. I know this is the perfect time to tell him I love him but something held me back.
"I also know that going to this trip will do a lot of things for me," he whispered smiling slightly. "But, I just know something will be missing."
"What is it?" I asked, breathlessly.
"I don't know what it is exactly either," he said then held both of my hands. "But, I'm quite sure it's you."
I could feel the tears prickling the edges of my eyes. Just do it Ginny! Do it now! Tell him you love him! Go! Just goddamn do it! But instead of listening to the little voices in my head, I avoided his gaze and looked at the setting sun, "I don't know what you mean."
Harry's face looked crestfallen and I just know that the look he's giving me will make me burst into tears anytime. He squeezed my hands and held them closer, "You know how people feel about other people but they don't know the exact way to tell them? Well, I think that when you feel something for someone, you don't keep it to yourself. You say it to that person. You say it out loud! You tell the person how you really feel! Just then and there. Just tell the person because you don't know when it's too late. Because there are some moments perfect for these that you don't want to miss it. Because if you do—"
"The opportunity passes you by," I continued, my voice shaky and my eyes bored into Harry's.
"Yes," he whispered, his eyes still looking into mine. He squeezed my hand tightly and whispered, "exactly. The moment just passes you by."
Silence fell between us. Neither of us said anything, but kept on looking at each other's eyes. Unknown to both of us, the sun was slowly sinking behind the hills, making the orange fade like a drop of ink in water. I was just staring at him as the sun disappeared, and he staring back at me, waiting. There you go Weasley, go do it! He's waiting for you! You don't want the opportunity to pass! Just tell him you love him! Now! It's now or never!
But I never had the opportunity to tell Harry. I was just looking at him silently. Then, I suddenly realized, the sun was gone, completely hidden behind the hill, the orange completely washed by the curtain of violet.
Harry looked down and released my hand ever so slightly and looked to the dark horizon. I avoided looking at his disappointed face. I knew it. I've just let my one last opportunity pass. It's gone. My last one is gone. I know my tears were threatening to fall down. I shut my eyes hard, cursing myself for being a coward.
"You know," Harry began, smiling at me. "Whenever I'm feeling bad, I just remember that one Christmas in Hogsmeade. You know, that dance?"
"Ah, the Hogsmeade Christmas carnival," I said, smiling beside my tears. "How could I forget?"
"I had a sudden stroke of reminiscing," he grinned and held both my hands again. "Remember that song?"
I laughed, "Of course."
"Care for a dance, Miss Weasley?" he asked me kissing the back of my hand.
"I don't know, Mr. Potter," I said jokingly. "I only dance with professionals."
Harry grinned at me and pulled me close, his one hand on my waist and the other holding my hand. Out of nowhere, he began to sing. "Heaven knows what to say, even though for right now you're so far away. I hope and I pray, somewhere in your heart I'll always stay…"
I buried my face onto his shoulder and wiped the tears that fell on my cheeks. What happened to me? Why can't I tell him? He was already there. The moment was perfect and it seemed as he wanted to hear me say it. Why? Isn't this what I want?
"Girl, lately my sun doesn't shine without you. Never noticed what it feels like to be without you. Feels like I took my last step, and my last breath in my life ending.
Had to say just what I was feeling, girl. ‘Cause my sun doesn't shine, sun doesn't shine without you…"
I held onto my Harry as if clinging onto dear life. I sobbed onto his shoulder willing him to read the beating of my heart against his chest. And I just hope he does understand that the beating of my heart goes for him, only him.
* * *
My Dearest Ginny,
By the time you receive this letter, I'd probably be in Sydney. I know that this might come as a surprise to you, but I just wanted to tell you this. At least for the first and last time.
I tried to tell it to you last night but I don't know...it wouldn't just come out of my lips. Or maybe, I was just too scared to tell you face to face. Too scared that you might not believe me, or understand me. And somehow I got a feeling that you do. But I couldn't not tell you.
I'll go straight to the point. If I keep this any longer, I might lose my nerve and never get another opportunity to tell you everything.
I love you Gin, I have loved you for a long time. I dunno when it all started but I just know deep in my heart that you are the woman for me. I've tried to block the feelings, I've tried to think of it as mere admiration, but every single moment I'm with you, my heart just longs for you.
I have loved you secretly—secretly wishing that those beautiful smiles were for me. I've been keeping this for a long time, not even your brother or Hermione knew this. I was too scared to tell you because I felt that if I tell you now, you might go away. And I just can't bear it, Gin. I couldn't last a day without hearing your laugh, seeing your smile, watching your hair fly about carelessly. You were the only woman in my life for six years, the only one who can make me smile amidst the hell around me. You were the only one for me, the one who could forever hold my heart.
Last night, I was only searching for a sign--any sign--not to leave. And stay here forever, with you. But I guess there's none. There's nothing holding me back. But I just couldn't go away without telling you how much I love you.
I love you, Gin. So much.
I wish that you'll find someone who will love you like I do—or maybe even more. Someone who will have the guts to tell you how wonderful and special you are for him. Someone who will treasure you. We might be oceans away but the farthest distance is not separated by life and death, but when I stand in front of you and you don't know that I love you..."
Love you always,
A/N: This piece was inspired by the movie, My Best Friend's Wedding. Special thanks to Hua Ze Mara and her hubby-in-the-making Vic, for that heart-wrenching quote in Harry's letter. The moment Jess and I saw it, we knew it was perfect for Sunset. Many thanks to Jess (Alcarcalime), my good on and offline friend and beta-reader, for almost everything. She was the best. Thanks for the Kleenex, the midnight YM chats, the tears, the laughter, the craziness, the song, the letter, everything. I really couldn't have done this without you. This is for you, sweetie. This is your story. *hugs*
Thanks also to my betas, Thalia and Solvieg. You guys are awesome. *hugs*