Disclaimer – I do not own nor would I presume to lay claim to
anything in any way associated with the wonderful world of Harry
Potter. It's all Jo's.
Apart from an attempt to
give Harry the advocate he sorely lacks, this story is also comprised
of theories, speculations and a whole lot of wishful thinking. I
hope you enjoy.
awoke the next morning from a fitful sleep. He wasn't free of the
nightmares but he felt a tiny sense of triumph that he hadn't woken up
screaming as he had the night before. Having nightmares was almost
second nature and they were mostly the same. Lately though as skillful
as he was at avoiding thoughts of Sirius during the day, at night he
often visited the veil room while he slept. Worst, though, were the
ones that starred Bellatrix Lestrange cutting down various people he
cared about while telling Harry that it was his fault. Nobody was safe
and those were the dreams that woke him up screaming.
the relief he'd felt after speaking with Remus Lupin the day before had
slowly leaked away during the night. He was no longer numb (a step in
the right direction) but the numbness seemed to have given way to what
he could only assume was grief. An overwhelming sadness had settled in
and he vaguely wondered if perhaps a Dementor had slipped into the
house unnoticed. That was easier to accept than the root of the
sadness, which he was still not thinking about.
came and went finding Harry still in bed, blurrily staring at the
ceiling. He put on his glasses to check the alarm clock and realized
that Moony would be there in an hour. He decided that it would be quite
thoughtful of him to shower and he wondered humorlessly if Remus'
condition gave him a keener sense of smell. If it were true then he
probably owed him an apology for yesterday. Maybe he'd ask him.
planned on asking a lot of questions. He'd come to a decision last
night: if Remus Lupin was really coming to talk to him on a regular
basis as he'd joked he was, then Harry was going to get some answers.
He wanted answers to questions that had plagued him for years and
answers to questions that the latest set of horrific revelations had
spawned. He couldn't possibly get past any of this if he didn't get
A hint of his old anger was weaving itself
into the blanket of sadness. He stopped to analyze it and decided it
was entirely his own – there was no snake coiling inside of him this
He returned to his room after successfully chipping
off the layer of filth he'd been living with for nearly a week. He
reckoned he probably shouldn't skip the showering and general hygiene
any more since he did actually feel a bit better for it. Hedwig swooped
in through the open window and Harry's stomach did that nervous
flip-flopping again. She had Ginny's response for him but before he
could open it he heard the bell on the front door. He hadn't expected
Profess…Moony to be so conventional. With a pang of regret he put the
letter down, finished pulling on Dudley's hand-me-downs and made a
hasty retreat out of the room.
Hoping to beat his aunt to
the door he meant to take the stairs two at a time but came to an
abrupt halt when he heard the conversation taking place in the foyer
down below him.
Aunt Petunia hissed, "I know you. You're one of his friends aren't you?"
you mean James Potter, then yes, I am one of his friends," Remus
responded mildly. "My name is Remus Lupin. We've met before if you'll
recall, Petunia; at your parents house before Lily and James' wedding.
It's a shame you couldn't attend – it was very nice as far as weddings
go. I was also at Kings Cross last week when Harry came home from
Harry cringed; reminding his aunt of that welcoming
committee was not a good idea. He braced for the fallout and wasn't
disappointed. He heard the front door close with a loud thunk and
assumed his Aunt had pulled Moony inside away from the prying eyes of
the neighbors before laying into him.
"You… you…" his aunt
spluttered. "How dare you freaks try to dictate to us how to handle our
business. You don't know anything about my family."
hissing again and Harry wondered idly if Voldemort's snake had
abandoned him to somehow take over his aunt. He couldn't see either of
them but he knew from experience that she'd built up a pretty good rant
and would not stop until she'd had her say.
"My sister and
her unnaturalness! No good has come of it! That maniac would never have
known of my parents if it weren't for her! Do you know what it's like
to come home to find people you love lifelessly staring, a look of
sheer terror frozen on their poor faces? Do you?"
responded, "Yes, actually I do." But she continued as if he had not
spoken. Harry felt he probably should interrupt and rescue Lupin but
Aunt Petunia's tirade was as mesmerizing as it was informative so he
held his ground.
"Then, she goes the same way, leaving
us burdened with the boy! In a fit of sentimentality I agreed to the
old man's terms and have regretted it everyday since. We thought we
could stamp out the unnaturalness but it's been nothing but trouble.
What people must think of us! Turning his teacher's hair blue, flying
up to the primary school roof, setting great, vicious snakes on my poor
baby! Filthy owls flying in here day and night, a gigantic man
threatening my family and giving poor Duddykins a pig's tail, a passel
of red-headed people blowing up my electric fire and making Dudley
choke on his own tongue as it grew ten feet in length! Dementors tried
to steal my son's soul – his soul – for merely walking with the boy! And that's not even half of it.
"I'll not have it! I will not have you interfering in my family business. That boy walks around here everyday with her eyes and his face and ridiculous hair, reminding me of the mistake I made. I will treat him as I see fit."
surely you can see that the fault of this does not lie with Harry. He's
just as much a victim of this as you are, more so, really. Why must you
take it out on him?"
She sounded tired but no less spiteful.
"I told you that I will not tolerate your interference. I will stand by
my obligation because in doing so the protection for the boy extends to
my family. I owe him nothing more than that."
it was. Finally exposed. Harry thought it didn't hurt nearly as much as
it should have. Being used, he was getting used to it. Dumbledore
had... Nope, not thinking about him either.
you feel that way, Petunia. I can't imagine what Lily would think of
your despicable treatment of her son and I cannot do a thing about the
abuse and neglect of the past. I can, however, remind you that there
are people who love Harry and care very much about his well-being.
People who can do something about it if it's found out he's being
mistreated again." Remus delivered this sentiment in a low, even voice
that held a steely note Harry had heard from him only once before.
Petunia was unmoved as far as Harry could tell. "You may wait for the
boy in the garden." With that she dismissed him and his "Thank you".
had wanted answers and he'd certainly gotten an earful. He'd heard
worse from his aunt and uncle both and suffered too many losses at the
hand of Voldemort for this new information to be crippling. It did go a
long way toward understanding, though. Voldemort or his lackeys had
killed her parents, Harry's grandparents, and she blamed Harry's Mum
for it. Understanding this did not in anyway justify or excuse the
lifetime of abuse and neglect he'd suffered, but it certainly explained
why she loathed him so.
He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard her shout, "Boy! Get down here now! Someone of your
kind is waiting in the back garden for you." She continued as he made
his way down the stairs though she wouldn't look him in the eye.
"If you plan on making this a habit you will arrange a time to meet him
back there like you did yesterday. I will not have him standing on my
doorstep and ringing the bell like a normal person nor will I have him
traipsing through my house. Do you understand me?"
Petunia. Thank you." Harry didn't know why he threw that last bit in
there – thank you for what, for the information? Thank you for being
insulting and coldhearted? Or, thank you for the abuse all these years?
He certainly wasn't going to apologize for her suffering because of
Voldemort. But knowing the futility of such things did not stop him
from wishing he could make her see they had so much in common. He'd
found out last summer that she had much more knowledge of the Wizarding
world than she let on. He let himself wonder for a moment how different
his early years would have been if she had accepted his magic as
natural. Accepted him. Her own experience would have been much better
as well. Pushing the useless 'what-ifs' away, he walked out through the
kitchen to the back garden.
"Alright Moony?" He found Remus
sitting in the same garden chair from yesterday with his shoulders
sagging. Despite the warm feeling it had given him to hear Moony coming
to his defense, Harry couldn't quite contain a little nasty part of him
that was glad someone else had experienced one of his relatives first
"Hullo Harry. I guess you heard all of that?"
I did. It's no big deal though. I mean some of it was new but the theme
and the uh, delivery were familiar enough. Thanks for saying that to
"I so wish things had been different for you."
"It's okay really. And I was already going to ask you a bunch of questions so, saved you from answering those, eh?"
tried to smile encouragingly to Lupin who seemed a bit out of sorts
from the whole experience. Not wanting to add to the stress but still
wanting to make his intentions clear he continued. "I think it's time
to clear some things up. I'm really sick and tired of being kept in the
dark about stuff that affects me, yeah?"
Harry managed to
look both pleading and determined when he said this. Remus responded
enthusiastically. "I couldn't agree more Harry and I'll do my best to
fill you in on everything I possibly can. I may not be able to answer
all of your questions but I'll certainly try to find out the answers if
I don't know them. I had planned on discussing some business with you
today but I think after that display by your aunt I'll save it for
tomorrow. Why don't you have a seat we'll talk about some of the
questions you have?"
That Moony would readily agree to his
request had not occurred to him. He was so shocked that he couldn't
think of a logical place to start. Sensing this, Remus said, "Why don't
I give you some news I think you'll be interested in?" Harry nodded
gratefully. "Well, this bit of news is quite fresh as it all came down
this morning and concerns one Dolores Umbridge. Remember her?"
"Toady looking woman…super-human ability to inflict pain and suffering? Yeah, I remember her." Harry said bitterly.
Umbridge has not been seen nor heard from since she disappeared from
the Hospital wing at Hogwarts. It seems that our friend Dolores is in
some serious trouble and is wanted by the authorities. I can tell by
your dropping jaw that this surprises you."
blinked. "Bloody well right it does. She did whatever the hell
she wanted to us for months! I thought for sure she'd get away with it."
she almost did. Fudge insisted that the decision to install her in the
school was a matter of national security. Laugh, go ahead but he was
completely serious and had no intention of even so much as dismissing
her let alone prosecution, until Amelia Bones received two very
disturbing owls, one from Mrs. Longbottom and one from Serena Jordan.
seems Neville, while explaining his part in the happenings at the end
of term, informed his grandmother that Ms. Umbridge had not only
confessed to setting the Dementors on you last summer she also
attempted to use an Unforgivable curse on a student when she could not
coerce the Potions Master to administer Veritaserum. Very serious
charges all three, but Neville is considered to be a reliable
witness. Only this morning his story was backed up by several
other students present at the time. And Serena Jordan, whom you would
know as Lee Jordan's mother, was most distressed to find scars across
the back of her son's hand. And even more so when the quill used to
inflict these scars was discovered in the DADA office and found to be a
very illegal Dark Object."
Harry unconsciously rubbed the
web of silvery scars on the back of his hand. Remus shot him a
questioning look as he asked, "You as well?"
Harry gave a
reluctant nod in response then, still slightly in shock at this turn of
events, asked, "Moony you don't suppose she's a Death Eater do you?"
considered carefully before he answered, "I don't think that she's a
Death Eater though she has some suspiciously similar qualities. I think
she's just the worst kind of hypocrite and her power trip at Hogwarts
drove her to do some pretty unthinkable things in the name of the
Ministry. A government that is more concerned about its own
self-preservation than the people it is supposed to be serving is very
much a failure. Which is why Fudge is in pretty hot water himself these
days: denying Voldemort's return, publicly maligning you and
Dumbledore, then the fiasco with Umbridge. Add in the fact that
his number one supporter and financial backer, for lack of a better
term, is a high ranking Death Eater now enjoying the view from Azkaban.
There's talk of corruption and a vote of No Confidence."
"That's good, right?" Harry prompted. "I mean he's pretty useless."
slowly shook his head. "It's good and bad in a way. People are finally
seeing his true colors, however there's a bit of better the devil you
know than the one you don't. See Harry, we know Fudge and we are fairly
confident that he's not secretly in league with Voldemort. He's not
nearly clever enough and too full of his own self-importance to
successfully pull that off. A vote of No Confidence would require
someone to directly challenge the Minister's position through the
Wizengamot. Unless we're certain this person is Order friendly, we run
the risk of unknowingly voting in a new Minister who's at cross
purposes with the Order. I'm not saying anyone not in the Order is a
Death Eater; just that it would be best if we knew for certain we could
trust the person who opposes Fudge.
"They are throwing
around Amelia Bones' name, though, and should that work out to be true
it would be very good for us. Her position as Head of M.L.E. keeps her
from being an Order member however she's lost several close family
members at the hand of Death Eaters. She's sympathetic to the cause and
rather fond of Dumbledore. I don't envy her the job though. The
Ministry is in utter chaos right now. I'm afraid things aren't looking
good for Percy Weasley either. He was in trouble with that Barty Crouch
business but Fudge made it all go away when he took him on. With the
Minister in trouble too, it all looks a bit shady and now this is the
second time there's trouble associated with person to whom Percy
Harry couldn't find it in himself to worry
about Percy's fate except to hope it wouldn't hurt the other Weasleys
anymore than he already has. His head was swimming with the murkiness
of politics. He shook it to clear it and latched onto a question that
suddenly occurred to him. "Does this mean that all those bloody decrees
and rubbish Umbridge put in place have been chucked out?" he asked
eagerly, daring to hope that would include his lifetime Quidditch ban.
indeed. When Dumbledore met with the Board of Governors yesterday
the Minister had already officially removed her from Hogwarts.
They unanimously overturned each and every Decree instituted by
Umbridge and formally rejected the authority of the Ministry over the
school, just in case Fudge would get it in his mind to try it again."
Moony smiled then looked questioningly at Harry's hesitation. "What is
"Do you reckon my Quidditch ban is done as well?"
nodded. "I don't think she ever really had the authority to ban
you from the sport for a lifetime even though she was able to keep you
from playing during the school term."
"So I can play?" Harry asked hopefully.
"I daresay Professor McGonagall would be quite beside herself if you didn't."
For the first time, in what felt like decades, Harry smiled a full genuine smile.
sat at his desk looking out the window at the few brave stars daring to
peek through the thick cloud cover, reflecting on the day and the
revelations presented to him. It had been an emotional roller coaster
ride, not that he'd ever been on a roller coaster. With the exception
of rage and perhaps joy, he was fairly certain he'd experienced every
emotion known to man today. Weighty sadness, nervous anticipation,
astonishment on more than one count, confusion, guilt, grief, elation –
he'd felt them all today.
He and Moony had spent a long time
talking this afternoon. Harry had asked him which students had
testified against Umbridge, wondering if Ginny had been one.
been astonished when Moony had answered, "A boy named Warrington, I
think, and two Slytherin girls whose names escape me at the moment."
"But, they were a part of Umbridge's Inquisitorial Squad! Why would they testify against her?"
had shrugged his shoulders. "Could be their parents wanted to
separate them as much as possible from Umbridge. This way they appear
to be doing the right thing, makes them look good and removes them from
the cloud of accusations surrounding her. It's a very Slytherin thing
to do, really."
Harry, still skeptical about the level of
justice that might be handed to Dolores Umbridge, had also asked him,
"Do you reckon the charges against her will stick? She really
didn't complete the Cruciatus Curse – Hermione interrupted her before
she could fully say the words."
Remus shrugged. "That remains
to be seen. However, Ms. Umbridge's intentions were clear to
everyone in the room, Harry and so was the fact the she would have
accomplished it if Hermione hadn't shouted at that moment. Ron and
Ginny both wanted to testify but it was decided that since these other
students were in Umbridge's good graces, the testimony would be more
Harry had blushed at the mention of
Ginny. Remus had not missed the opportunity to point it
out. "Harry, that's the second time in as many days that you've
blushed at the mention of Ginny Weasley. Anything you'd like to talk
Harry had silently cursed his betraying complexion
as Remus' question had only served to deepen the glowing red of his
face. "I, um—bugger," he spluttered, flushed and slightly
embarrassed about his language. "Sorry. I've been kind of loose with
the swearing today."
Remus had nearly beamed at him. "Don't worry about it. Did you want to talk about Ginny?"
had thought that Moony was quite enjoying the reaction he'd got by
merely saying her name but was also grateful that he'd cared enough to
ask. "There's not much to tell."
Remus had smiled kindly. "You fancy her then? Must be a Potter thing."
guess I do but as far as I know she's seeing another bloke. Anyway my
life is kind of, er, complicated isn't it? She's probably better off
with him." Harry had felt dejected at the thought. Then he'd looked
sharply at Remus and asked, "What did you mean 'a Potter thing'?"
your Mum, your Grandmum. Lovely ginger locks, each and every
one." Then something Harry hadn't quite recognized flickered briefly
across Remus' face before the same somewhat sad smile settled on it
again. "I'll offer you this bit of advice. Don't give up without
a fight if she's worth it. And I daresay she is. As much as I'd like to
shield you from them, you have some dark days ahead of you. You must
grab every bit of joy you can, believe me. Some of the most beautiful
memories are just moments in time but enough of them and you'll have
something to fight for, something to live for."
Harry with much to think about. Of all the things that had transpired
this day, though, nothing compared to – nor prepared him for – the
highs and the lows he'd experienced while reading Ginny's letter.
be glad to know that you passed the bollocks test with flying colors! I
was glad to get such an honest response. I'm also glad that you're
talking with Professor Lupin. I expect it'll be as good for him as it
is for you.
Since you were so
forthcoming, I have a confession of my own to make. When I read your
letter the first time I was quite confused by your asking how Dean was
doing. I'd completely forgotten about that comment I made on the train!
I only did that because of Ron. I don't know why he has to get all big
brother on me now but I don't appreciate it. I wanted to pick someone
Ron's never had a bad word to say about. Neville was sitting right
there and after the way Seamus had treated you most of the year he was
out. Dean seemed the most believable. I just wanted to wind him up a
bit to see what objections he could possibly come up with. Dean has no
idea his name is being abused in such a way. I suppose Ron means well
but, honestly, he can be such a prat sometimes!
Harry's heart soared at the words. She's not seeing Dean! She's not seeing Dean, not even writing to him!
of the prat, I have no news on the Hermione front. Ron's still acting
mental but the twins, bless them, came for lunch today and spent the
afternoon taking the mickey out of him for what happened at the
station. Highly entertaining! Oh! That's right, you don't know about
that, you'd already left. So, we were standing there at Kings cross,
yeah? You were walking away with Muggles scurrying after you. The rest
of the group sort of just stood and watched you leave. Ron and Hermione
were standing there together and Ron draped his arm around Hermione's
shoulders and Hermione wrapped her arm around Ron's back, you know by
his waist, like it was just perfectly natural for them to do that. They
just stood there leaning into each other like that for a minute then
they turned to each other, and then jumped apart like someone had
thrown a repelling charm between them! It was hilarious. That's also
why I don't know if they'd already talked at that point but didn't want
anyone to know or if they're still dancing around the issue. Ron won't
talk to me about it. I laugh but (and don't you dare tell Ron I said
this – need I remind you of the Bat Bogey?) I think it's lovely. I
think they're lovely and a perfect balance for each other.
of things that make me wistful, how about things that make me furious?
I know I've been keeping the tone light but I wanted to tell you about
something I think will be useful. I was supremely disgusted with my
performance at the D.O.M. I insisted on coming along then was almost
immediately hobbled! I was useless and I'm sorry for that. I was
talking to Bill about it and he offered to teach me some Muggle defense
moves he says can help someone as small as I am to defend or even best
someone twice my size. It also helps with your reflexes. You know to
get out of the way quicker. I curse my short legs! Ron got all of my
height. By the time I came 'round there was none left. In fact I think
Ron got Charlie's and the twins' height too. If he doesn't stop growing
soon Mum'll have to raise the ceilings and doorways to accommodate him.
Anyway this Muggle defense sounds brilliant and I thought you might
like to learn it too? I mean, I don't know if you're thinking of
starting up the D.A. again next year but if you do it would be a good
thing to pass on to the others, yeah?
felt nauseous. He had not let himself think about the Department of
Mysteries because the events were so tied into Sirius. It now slapped
him in the face. God, Harry thought. I led my friends into a
Death Eater trap- they could have died. Ginny could have died. Why
can't I control myself? How could I have done something so stupid? There was more to the letter and he continued to read it as the guilt stabbed at his heart.
want you to pay very careful attention to this next bit. I know that I
opened a can of worms by mentioning the events at the end of term. I
also know that right now you are blaming yourself for what happened so
I am asking you to remember, as I do, that it was my own decision to go
with you. You did not force me to go and actually made an effort to
stop us all from coming along. I would do it again in a heartbeat even
knowing what happened. I cared about Sirius too. I know he didn't mean
to me what he meant to you but I refused to stand by if I could help
you or him. I won't tolerate you beating yourself up about something
that was entirely my own choice. Do you understand me?
sorry, this letter is a bit darker than I intended, but I need for you
to understand that I, that is, we care about you very much. I want you
to not only understand but also believe that you are not alone.
She'd signed it Truly yours,
which made Harry's heart flutter in a not uncomfortable way.
Truly yours was truly his? He read the letter over and over until it
was nearly memorized. Each time experiencing a different set of
conflicting emotions but each time also became easier to contemplate
what she'd said about what happened. Each time, it became easier to see
the situation from outside of himself and he eventually found hope that
he could possibly forgive himself for the horrendous mistake he'd made.
carefully composed a response to Ginny. The words he used were simple,
ordinary and not at all sensational, but as he wrote them he'd hoped to
somehow convey what he was feeling for her without actually saying it.
was also worried that Ginny was anxiously thinking he might be angry
with her for bringing up the D.O.M. Chewing on his bottom lip, he
called Hedwig to him and attached the letter to her leg. "Hedwig, take
this as quick as you can and wait for a response. I hope she writes
back right away. I don't know if I can wait until tomorrow."
seemed to understand his urgency. Harry swore that had she
possessed them, she'd have arched an eyebrow at him. She seemed to be
contemplating something and Harry found it odd to watch the thought
process of a bird, even such an intelligent one. It appeared she'd come
to a decision. With what seemed to be a brief nod, she rubbed the crown
of her head against Harry's cheek and then did something so
extraordinary, so unexpected that Harry nearly fainted.
With a quiet "pop" Hedwig had Disapparated.
the shock of it wore off, Harry jumped up and went to his trunk,
wishing it wasn't so late or he'd call Hermione on the phone to find
out if she'd ever heard of an owl being able to do such a thing. He
frantically dug around and found his copy of "Fantastic Beasts and
Where to Find Them" and his "Monster Book of Monsters". The latter
mostly provided information on large, dangerous creatures and he found,
to his disappointment, that Mr. Scamander had also neglected to make
any mention whatsoever of Post Owls. The only bird Harry had ever seen
do anything like that was Fawkes, but he was a Phoenix.
knowing where else to look he sank back down in the chair at his desk.
He was worried. Had she done this before? What if she didn't end up
where she should be? What if she splinched herself? What if she never
Hedwig suddenly appeared before him with a distinct 'pop'.
Thank Merlin you're okay." He stroked her head in relief. "You've
been holding out on me, girl. Did Fawkes teach you to do that?"
Her answer was a light nip on his hand as she stuck out her leg. Ginny's note simply read,
Harry! Hedwig just Apparated here! That's fantastic!!
he felt properly reassured by Hedwig that this did not hurt her in any
way and that she did not mind doing this for them, Harry responded to
Ginny. This set up a volley of conversation. They talked about
everything and nothing at all. Harry mentioned the Umbridge business
and Ginny related a funny story about her that made Harry wish he'd
known her thoughts before. It would have been much easier to deal with
Umbridge if he'd had that image in his head. The exchange lasted into the wee hours and contained a steadily escalating, flirty banter between them.
in bed, trying to calm his racing heart, Harry's mind was alight with
possibilities. He thought again of the last exchange between them
before calling it a night. Feeling bold Harry had finally asked,
Ginny, Do you suppose this would be considered by some to be "furiously owling"?
Using Ginny's own words to describe Ron and Hermione's frenzied correspondence was inspired. She has to get my meaning! Harry thought. Her response sent him over the moon.
Yes, I would like very much to consider this "furiously owling". Sweet dreams Harry. I know I'll be having some. Good night!
Harry smiled into his pillow before finally drifting off to sleep.
Lupin watched as the amber liquid in his glass caught the candlelight
flickering from the table next to his armchair. He hated this house as
much as Sirius had. More so now that Padfoot was not here to bear it
with him. He'd lost his last best friend – his brother – after only
just finding him again. He'd immediately felt the old intense need to
run, to be somewhere, anywhere else completely unfamiliar. The
same need he'd felt after James and Lily; the same need he'd felt after
his ill-fated stint as a Hogwarts Professor, the need to just be gone.
To run away from the pain he felt and the pain he'd inflicted. He'd
felt it until he'd spent the afternoon with Harry.
old Goblin had contacted him about Sirius' will he'd been stunned. He
didn't want or need his money and what had Sirius been thinking naming
him Harry's guardian? Granted, the title was barely legal and entailed
mostly the ability to represent Harry in wizarding business
transactions and signing notes of permission for Hogwarts but it was
more responsibility for a single human not himself than he'd ever had
bestowed upon him before. He'd intended to tell Harry about it in the
loosest of terms, promise to keep in touch and be on his way. He wasn't
anything to Harry, really. Sirius had been the godfather; the perpetual
teenager, if not father figure, at least brother to Harry. No, Harry
didn't need him nor would he or anyone else miss him.
mind that the lovely and vivacious Nymphadora Tonks had been quite
blatant about her interest in him. What could she possibly see in a
tired out old werewolf with no prospects? She must be looking for a
thrill; bedding a dark creature or some such rubbish. He had nothing to
offer her. He'd never had anything to offer anyone.
all changed when first, he'd been on the receiving end of Petunia
Dursley's rage and then, upon seeing Harry's familiarity and easy
acceptance of his aunt's complete disregard of him as a human, much
less a child with basic needs. Not even Harry's grief-stricken,
emotional outburst of the day before had produced this recognition of
need. The boy truly had no one to count on, no one that was just for
him to rely upon or seek guidance from. He was extraordinary in so many
ways and it was impossible that it was a result of this upbringing.
Harry had somehow managed to retain what James and Lily had given him
despite their long absence in his life and the terrible treatment
during his childhood.
Remus had decided at Harry's quickly
muttered 'It's no big deal,' that he was going to be that person that
Harry could depend upon. He'd let him down at least twice now. What a
fool he'd been to think that Harry had been better off with his
relatives! The very little he thought he had to offer Harry would be
riches compared to what he'd been handed by the Dursleys. And all the
kid had asked for was answers; at that point Remus would have handed
him the world on a plate if it had been his to give.
moment hadn't cemented it for him, the conversation he'd just had with
Dumbledore would have. He was aghast at the information he'd received
about the prophecy and even more so when Dumbledore had confessed his
cloudy judgment regarding Harry's knowledge of it and the reasons
behind it. He and Dumbledore had discussed past, present and future for
several hours. Remus could do nothing but admire the old man's candor.
It only served to steel his resolve to make a difference in Harry's
life. He'd go to him every day if he had to.
He had promises
to keep. Promises he made to himself, promises he'd silently made to
Harry and some promises he'd made to Sirius last summer. He intended to
see them through.
~ Although the use of it is entirely different, I borrowed the idea of
Hedwig's Apparation ability from St. Margarets' wonderful H/G story "Red Is The Heart",
which can be found on The Sugar Quill and on Phoenix Song. If you are
an H/G shipper, or even if you're not, I highly recommend that story
and even more so, the Wallpaper Series that precedes it.