"Harry?" Ginny asked from the bathroom they shared off the Gryffindor common room.
Harry put down his copy of the Daily Prophet and looked at the closed door. "Yes, dear?"
quick glance at the clock on the wall told him they had a good twenty
minutes until their first class. "You've got plenty of time, Ginny."
"No, Harry," she said more forcefully. "I'm late."
toast he was buttering slipped from his grasp as the meaning of her
words sank in. "Y-you can't be late! I did my part of the Contraceptive
Charm, and you took your potions. How can you be late?"
There was a pause and Harry walked over to the bathroom.
I'm late. It's been over six weeks since my last period, and the only
time it's been that far off was when I first started having them. I'm
as regular as your monthly detention with Snape."
hit the door frame in exasperation. The loo flushed and Ginny started
to hum as she washed her hands. When the door opened, Harry was vexed
by her charming smile. "How can you be happy about this?"
"I know how the Contraceptive Charm works, Harry. You have to want
to prevent the pregnancy." She sat down in Harry's chair by the window
and began to eat his half-buttered toast. "It wasn't my fault this
"You start thinking of names, and I'll write up a letter to Mum."
"I've always liked the name 'Rodney' or 'Grizelda'. Don't you think those are cute?"
jaw dropped and he was about to let loose with another scathingly
simple 'but' when he remembered something. "You're pulling my leg
Ginny polished of his pumpkin juice and wiped her
mouth with his napkin. "You're catching on, Mr. Potter. The look on
your face was priceless, though." She winked at him and disappeared
back into the bathroom.
It wasn't until she was in the shower
before he decided on a course of action. Quietly opening the door, he
tip-toed inside and closed it behind him. Then, pointing his wand at
the shower-head, he muttered a freezing spell. It wasn't three seconds
before she started to screech.
"HARRY POTTER, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
curtains parted and a very wet and naked Ginny Potter barreled onto the
tile floor and slipped into his arms. The anger on her face was met
with Harry's rolling laughter and even her half-hearted attempts to
pummel him with her fists couldn't stop him. "You know, if this is what
I have to do to get you in my arms wet and naked, I'll have to do it
"You do," Ginny retorted, "and I'll be sure to make the toilet regurgitates the next time you use it."
considered his options, looked at his partially-fogged watch and
decided that he could be a little late for Transfiguration this
morning. "Then I'll just have to take my shower with you."
shower with Ginny took a little longer than planned, but it couldn't be
helped. He sprinted down the corridor and slid to a stop in front of
Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall was already lecturing.
Mr. Potter. Would you care to join your classmates?" She pointed to the
empty chair between Ron and Hermione, his usual place, and waited for
him to enter. "I don't need to remind you that your special living
arrangements don't excuse you from arriving on time?"
Harry said sheepishly before he shuffled to his chair. He could feel
the eyes of everyone on him. Ron was looking askance at him and
Hermione was tutting under her breath. His hair was still wet and his
face was pink.
"Do I want to know what you and Ginny were doing?" Hermione asked under her breath.
Ron's face went ashen. "Blimey. Would you not make it so obvious? It's hard enough for a bloke to know that you're...involved with his sister, let alone to know it was happening while he was eating."
Hermione clucked her tongue again at Harry's growing smile. "Ginny said she was late..."
this pronouncement, Ron promptly fell out of his chair, eliciting a
scream from Hannah Abbot next to him. Hermione was staring a hole in
Harry's face while McGonagall swooped in to discover the source of the
"Is there something wrong with your chair, Mr. Weasley?" she asked, clearly upset at the second interruption in her lesson.
Ron righted his chair and shakily sat back down. "N-no, Professor. Everything's just...fine."
characteristically-thin lips became even thinner. "Indeed. See that you
don't interrupt my lecture again, or all three of you will be serving
detention." She pointed to Ron, Harry and Hermione in succession.
"Don't think I'm ignorant to your involvement, Mr. Potter."
swept off to the front of the class and resumed lecturing. Ron leaned
over to Harry's ear and whispered, "We'll finish with this later,
His smile even wider, Harry nodded and began to take notes on the subtleties of cross-gender switching spells.
dungeon was dank, lifeless, and soul-suckingly dark – just as it always
was. It was no wonder to Harry that Snape seemed to be so sour all the
time. Even Dumbledore would be less-than cheerful had he been out of
the sunlight for so long.
"If you have studied at all
during the last two months, you will have no trouble brewing the potion
I am about to put on the board." Snape's veiled threats were
particularly acidic today, as he swept around the room. He always
seemed to find Harry's eyes at the end of every comment, especially
when it was a subtle slam on Harry's 'summer activities' as he put it.
But every time he would try to bait Harry into becoming angry, Harry
would simply think back to a particularly nice moment with Ginny, and
it would all melt away.
"However," Snape continued, "seeing as how some
of us weren't as fortunate as to be allowed to canoodle on our
holidays, perhaps there will be a distinct lack of quality in today's
potion." The greasy-haired wizard had a sour look on his face, as if
the mere thought of Harry and Ginny being allowed to marry while in
school had caused a cup of lemon juice to appear in his mouth.
"Therefore, all substandard work will be tested on Mr. Potter." He said
it with a sneer, and waved his wand at the board, revealing the potion
they were to be working on.
assure you, Miss Granger," Snape confirmed, "that the Contraceptus
Potion is N.E.W.T. level, and an approved potion for classroom
instruction." He paused and cast a leering smile at Harry. "Mister
Potter is the ideal candidate for testing as he is, after all, the only
one in the class with someone to...test it with."
Snape turned around and stalked to his desk, but Harry had a sudden idea.
Harry asked, his hand dutifully raised in the air. "I'm sure your test
plans are well intended, but did you really want to risk having more
Potters in your class so soon?"
The sallow-skinned potions master seemed to pale in the dim light of the classroom. He narrowed his eyes and said, "Begin."
shared a secret smile with Ron, who was just as pale as Snape, and
began to brew the potion. For once, Harry thought he might actually
have a practical use for his potions lesson.
dinner that evening, Harry received a note from a stern-looking
McGonagall asking him and Ginny to meet in her office after their meal
was finished. Harry gave his wife a shrug and a confused smile, hoping
that she wouldn't be dragged into his cheek in Snape's class.
they arrived in her office, Professor McGonagall was seated with
Professor Snape, and there were two empty chairs opposite them. He and
Ginny sat down without being asked. Ginny shifted nervously beside him.
"I assume you know why you are here?" their Head of House asked imperiously.
of the teens spoke, but Harry could feel the tension in the room
increase. Surely this was not all for a little comment in class?
Snape has informed me that there might be a serious development between
the two of you that needs to be cleared up. I assured him that neither
of you would be so irresponsible, especially considering that –
although we have made an exception to matriculate the two of you –
despite your married status, pregnant students simply cannot be
enrolled." She cast her eyes on Ginny, whose face was hidden by her
Harry goggled at her. "I thought you were joking! You really are pregnant?"
"So it's true, then?" Snape accused. "You've gone and done it now, Potter."
McGonagall silenced Snape with a look and turned back to Ginny. "What do you have to say for yourself, Mrs. Potter?"
finally looked up and clutched at her side with uproarious laughter.
"NO!" she shouted between giggles. "I'm not pregnant!"
Snape's face fell, as if he'd just lost a bet with Dumbledore on who would win the House Cup that year.
"I can assure you this is no laughing matter, Miss – Mrs. Potter."
Ginny finally contained her mirth and said, "Oh, yes it is. Professor Snape had no business listening in on my private conversation with Rebecca." Rebecca DeMilles was the only Gryffindor female in her year.
"I had a duty to ensure that you weren't plotting something against the school," Snape retorted with a flash in his eyes.
you heard half the story and slunk along to tattle, didn't you?" Ginny
accused, defiantly jutting her chin in his direction.
"How dare you..." Snape began before being cut off.
"Enough," McGonagall commanded. "Why don't you tell us the whole story, then?"
looked to Harry, who nodded, still a little slow on the uptake, but
vastly curious as to what Snape heard his wife telling Rebecca.
morning, I played a prank on Harry, here," she said, jabbing a thumb in
his direction. "I told him I was late, not exactly telling him what it
was that I was late for, and he assumed I was late for Potions. When I
told him it was my period that was late, and that I was probably
pregnant, he almost lost his breakfast. After I let him off the hook,
though, he thought it would be funny to get me back and charmed my
shower to freeze." Ginny paused in her tale for a moment and a faint
bit of pink appeared on her cheeks. "We...uh, were a little late to
class after that."
Harry could tell that McGonagall was trying
very hard not to smile, as a small tremor in her thin lips could be
detected every other second. "Indeed," she managed to say without a
break in her composure.
Ginny continued, "Then when I was telling Rebecca about it, after
class had been dismissed, Professor Snape eavesdropped behind us until
he heard the word 'pregnant' and retreated to his dungeon."
crossed his arms and was pulling at the folds of his robes in an
apparent attempt to keep calm. "How was I supposed to know what devilry
you were up to? When I discovered that you might be impregnated with
Potter's brood, I was duty-bound to bring this to your Head of House."
sniffed and then blew her nose. Harry thought he might have heard a bit
of a giggle, but her face was hidden, so he couldn't be sure. "Yes,
yes," she said. "That will be all, I think, Severus."
Snape fairly flew from her office and when the door clicked shut, Harry had a sudden realization. "So, that's why he chose the Contraceptus Potion for our class."
"He what?" Ginny and McGonagall asked simultaneously.
shook his head at the memory. "He had us brew Contraceptus Totalis. He
was going on and on about testing the defective ones on me, and I told
him he shouldn't be so keen on having more Potters to teach. The look
on his face...no wonder!"
Ginny fell against his side
and began to giggle all over again. McGonagall's eyes were a little wet
on the corners, but her face never cracked. "Indeed," she said at
length. "That is quite...unusual, even for Severus."
When the laughter died, Ginny wiped her eyes and asked, "So are we in trouble, then?"
no," McGonagall replied, pushing her chair back and standing. "I think
we've had enough of a scare for one evening. You may go."
Harry and Ginny turned to leave, but stopped at the sound of their professor's voice.
"Oh, Harry? Ginny?"
They turned to look at McGonagall once more.
"I trust there will be no lapse in your preventative measures?"
felt Ginny giggle silently next to him and had to restrain his own
smile. "No, Professor," they chorused and hurried out of her office
before succumbing to their laughter once more.
scene with McGonagall is somewhat in homage to Imogen's Alpha and Omega
scene of a similar nature. One of the fandom mainstay's,
IMO. This also completes the circle of pranking that began when
the Weasley brothers threw Harry into the pond. They were, in
turn pranked by Harry and Ginny, and then Ginny was pranked by Harry,
they both pranked Hermione (who had immediate revenge) and now Ginny is
getting her sweet revenge.
mad props to Amulder for the rough outline for the part in Potions
class and to Kokopelli for general refinements. This installment
was written some months ago. Thanks as always to Sherry for the