I am not even sure what you are or who you will be, but I know that someday you will be great because, when you're my child, that is your destiny. I am not sure if your father even wanted you, and I am not sure what I am going to do, but you are here now and we have to deal with the consequences of our actions. Your father is a great wizard and someone you should always respect. He saved the world. He might not love you or want you around, but I want you and that's what matters. You are not planned, but I will take you for all you are worth. I only have about a month until I graduate from Hogwarts; then I can have a better idea of what I am going to do with you. Mum is going to kill me when she finds out that I got pregnant, but what is there for her to do? I love your father so much, but he is off now training to fight a war. I can't tell him about you until he is safe and I know I am safe.
You might be tiny, but I know you will be loved by many people. You are a gift. But I must be off because I have to think up a way to do my Transfiguration N.E.W.T. since I am no longer allowed to do anything that could harm you in class.
May 20, 1998
Hello, Baby. That's what I have decided that I want to call you until I know what you will be. I kind of let it slip to Hermione that I thought I might be pregnant and she showed up at school today. All I did was write her an owl asking if she had any ideas for how to take a Transfiguration N.E.W.T. without doing anything to your body. I told her it was for a friend. It's bad; Hermione is so scared for me and what Mum will do to me when she finds out. Hermione looked me over to make sure I was pregnant. Wow . . . three weeks along already.
It's kind of scary to think about it: I am going to be somebody's mum. I think about my mum and how she did all this stuff for me and my brothers. How am I going to be able to do those things? She knows when to change a nappy and how to feed a baby. She can discipline us without even thinking about it. She knows all these things! There is so much for me to learn, and I know I can't tell my family yet because they will want me home now. I have to graduate! That's the second most important thing behind having you with me.
Well, I have to go, Baby, because I need to do my Potions work and work on Charms. This is going to be very interesting.
May 25, 1998
Wow, Baby! I have not written to you in a while – I am sorry, I have just been so busy.
I think I have been busted. Today Sally pulled me to the side of the hallway and just looked at me and said that if I need anything to just ask because she understood what I was going through. What was Sally talking about? Does she know? Unless Hermione told somebody, though, how would she know? Please tell me Hermione is not telling a certain brother of mine! I would hate for Harry to find out from somebody else that I am having his baby and have not told him yet. He is already going to be mad because I should have told him from day one, but I could not let him take me out of school. So now I am just waiting two weeks until I am out of here.
That means tomorrow starts our N.E.W.T.s. I had to break down and tell McGonagall that I was pregnant and that I could not do self-Transfiguration. I thought she might die the way she looked at me with that "you have been a bad girl" expression. Her lips were so tightly pressed that I was scared she would eat them. I got a very long lecture about how I should have been more responsible for my life and not gotten into this mess. She did not even bother to ask who the father was or anything because she knew that Harry was involved in there somewhere.
I am serious, Baby. When you come to Hogwarts, watch out for McGonagall! She has had one too many trouble-makers – your father, Harry, and his father and his friends, and especially your uncles, for example. Don't ever eat anything your Uncles Fred or George give you; they will want to give you their jokes, which are not so funny when you're in the middle of eating. One day you'll know what I mean. Well Baby, I must get some sleep if it's at all possible. Goodnight.
May 27, 1998
Oh my God, Baby, sometimes you make things difficult! I was in the middle of taking my Charms practical exam, and all of a sudden I got sick. I love you, but can't we work out a way so I can at least make it through a stupid test? If I keep throwing up like this, somebody is going to be able to guess what's happening. Harry wrote me today and told me he was going to be able to come back to see me on the 14th of June, the day I am officially finished with Hogwarts. I've decided that I am going to tell him as soon as I have him to myself. He also said that he wanted to see me alone so he could give me a special reward.
I am five weeks along! I know that does not sound like much, but it is to me. You are special no matter what anyone says to you. Oh wait, must go – Jessica is coming, and I can't let her see this.
May 31, 1998
I feel like my body's just purged all of my lunch from the past two days. You'd better be worth all this miserable sickness. I finally told somebody else today. I felt, for my safety, I needed to let somebody else in on the secret. I told Jessica, my best friend; she is so happy for me, but it's still scary – even for her. She told me that no matter what she wanted to help with you. See, I told you that you were loved and you're only six weeks old –that must be a record! I am still not sure how I am going to tell your father, but I know he needs to know and it's better to tell him when he is here than in a letter.
If I can convince Mum to let me live away from the Burrow, Jessica and I want to get a flat – maybe in a small town or something. If I can't live on my own, though, maybe Mum will let Jessica stay with us. She has no desire to fight in the war but she might anyway. You never know what will happen. I know that I can't fight like I wanted to; that was the plan, but then you came along. Maybe it is for the best. Now Harry does not have to worry that I am out doing something reckless with my life.
There's just two weeks until I am out of school for good and then you and I are off to change the world. Do you know that you are going to be famous because you are the child of the Boy Who Lived? I would never let you grow up in the limelight, though, and I know Harry would not want you to grow up thinking you're better than everyone else. Bye for now, Baby. I have homework. (Isn't it strange your mother has to do her homework?)
June 2, 1998
Baby, do not ever listen to what people like Crabbe say about you. Crabbe is just upset since he is still in Hogwarts. Never thought much of those Slytherins and I guess he just proves it daily.
You are in no way a bastard. You are loved by your family, and your father loves you too – I know he will. I should not have been talking to Jessica in our Potions N.E.W.T. I know not to say anything about you with others around, but she asked how you were doing and whether I wanted a boy or girl. Oh, and just let me say: I don't care what you are as long as you're somebody I can love.
Anyway, Crabbe heard me telling Jessica that I was feeling a bit sick and he just burst out in class, yelling about how Saint Potter had knocked up his poor excuse of a girlfriend and is not even going to make it better and that he "probably doesn't even want the bastard of a child". He told me how much of a conquest I must have been to Harry and I just lost it. I ran out of the room crying. Jessica told me that Snape did not even do anything to Crabbe for his outburst in an exam but took ten points from Gryffindor for my leaving early.
I can't bear to face the school tomorrow. It is going to be all over the papers in the morning, and I have not gotten the chance to tell Harry in person. Maybe I should just write him a letter and tell him that I have huge surprise for him when he comes in twelve days. That's what I think I am going to do right now.
June 3, 1998
Well baby, it's all over the school. Everyone kept coming up to me at breakfast and asking me if it was true that I was having Harry's baby. Thank God Jessica was there with me; she kept them away, mostly. There was a lovely article in The Daily Prophet about how Harry and I had a steamy one night relationship, which is not at all true. Harry and I have been dating since October. Oh great – this looks like an owl from a family member. . . .
Ah, my dear brothers Charlie and Bill have seen the article and are working on calming Mum down. She is absolutely appalled that they would write such lies about her innocent daughter. Wonderful. That means I get to go home and tell Mum that the whole story was not just a big lie. Jessica has to come with me to the Burrow, or Mum will kill either Harry or me. Who knows – maybe us both. And here comes another owl. . . .
Hermione is such a sweetheart. I should not have asked her to lie to Ron but she is good at it. She apparently is keeping them from finding out the truth since they know that I would have confined it in her if it was true. It appears that Ron is working on calculating when was the last time I have seen Harry. For his part, Harry is scared out of his mind over what my parents are thinking right now about this article, and he does not have a clue that it is the truth. And it appears that my dear brothers Forge and Gred have sent Harry some Muggle protection and a list of contraceptive spells and potions. Leave it to the twins to find something funny in this whole thing.
I told a few people who go to school with me about me and Harry, and now I'm getting these snide comments about how I'm a slag and all kinds of nasty things from other students. I just can't wait until tomorrow when all those hate letters are bound to start arriving.
June 5, 1998
Hello, my Baby. I know yesterday was horrible. But it will get better; we just have to wait until I am out of school. That is only seven more days. I am sorry that all those people think you are either a figment of my imagination or someone else's baby that I am just pinning on Harry. I want you to know that there is no doubt you are Harry's baby and that they will know the truth soon enough.
I hope you get my hair and your father's eyes. I just love his green eyes, but if you had his messy hair, I think it would be too much for me. It would be funny if you had red hair and green eyes because his mother had almost the same shade of red as my hair, and she was the one who gave Harry his eyes. Is it wrong to hope that you look more like me than your father? You are going to be pretty.
It's just so funny; I got so many letters yesterday, you would have though I was terribly popular, but most of them just told me I was out to wreck Harry's life. I got called into Dumbledore's office today. I guess McGonagall had not told him. Everyone is acting like this is the first time something like this has happened in school but it has happened at least once before that I know of. That girl Hannah from Hufflepuff left a month before graduation last year and from what I hear, she, Ernie and the baby are quite happy. Dumbledore seems rather dumbfounded that Harry would take the chance to put me in more danger than I already am but, like I keep telling people, I am able to take care of myself. I'm in a bad mood, baby. I should go before I write things I don't mean.