"Oh, really?" sneered Arthur. "I bet H/G happens before breakfast. I'm Minister You Know What!! So you'd better start chicken dancing now!"
Ron stated, "I am honestly up to no good, so eat your heart out from my cake."
Hermione then danced a very weird Hokey Pokey. "C'mon! Everyone elf boogie now!!!!!!!!"
Then Dumbledore started his interrupted hula dance, just in time to see Kingsley send an owl to Draco Malfoy, begging him to RAYOR like a chicken-dancing monkey man.
Then Luna Lovegood burst into song about Stubby Boardman. "Come back, Stubby. We miss you so. And if you won't, then I'll turn a hosepipe on your arse."
"MmmmmmSirius," said Remus, hiding from Umbridge's Nosey Hokey Pokey while playing Sockie Turtle.
"NOT THE DISCO SUIT!" Draco said, dancing the Hustle. "Why are the ducks quacking? I'm scared! Ducks don't belong in my pants!" he shrieked.
They heard thunder and lightning outside, then Draco's pants caught on fire, struck by a massive ball of yarn. Crookshanks was chasing it all around town.
"Crookshanks! That's toxic!" shouted Hermione, while Draco removed ducks from his pants.
"I am not amused!" bellowed Draco. He gave a loud belch and then scratched his head, contemplating the ways to trick the giant squid into sporking Neville.
"The giant squid isn't going to fall in love with Harry; he's going shopping. Estella loves shopping at Macy's," said Dennis indignantly.
Dumbledore then hula-danced onto Muggle-eating Tonks'large tea party.
"Shake your groove-thing!" Umbridge screamed at Dennis, who was snogging Estella while ferociously trying to silence Umbridge's screaming on the phone about disco dancing. "I ONLY DISCO WHEN THERE ARE NAKED DUCKS AROUND!!" she shouted, ignoring Tonks'pleading voice.
"Stop all of this disco abuse. Shut the door!" Tonks whined pleadingly. "It's broken!!!! Moody broke a pickle jar."
"I disco anyway!" Ron shouted into the empty corridor.
Then someone squealed loudly. It was Mrs. Lucyjekyll. Ron then jumped on a small, furry animal, killing it. Hermione glared and began a fight to stop Ron's disco from annoying his adorable bouncing ferret. After that they ate a special cake from 1920.
"Does it taste like socks?" asked Ron.
"A little," replied Ginny.
"Sorry," said Harry, "I only eat cake that has Hagrid's dragon eggs in it."
"Oh, Harry, you big silly-head! Kiss me NOW!" said Ginny.
Ferret Boy collapsed on a futon in a fit of giggles. Then Estella pulled Ferret Boy into a gigantic bear hug.
Moaning Myrtle shrieked, "That's MY man!!!!!"
Ron then tangoed over to Kingsley, and Hermione read her gigantic copy of Hogwarts, A History out loud.
Tonks shouted, "Put that bloody disco ball down and start dancing, you great prat!"
Remus did as Tonks said, but Sirius laughed at Ferret Boy and Estella. Neville screamed at Luna, who was tickling Trevor. Luna's Quibbler magazine said that Trevor liked to eat ducks.
"So do I!" said random Mary Sues, in very American accents.
"Voldie kills Mary Sues," declared Snape. "Don't bother not angering him. He's taking Prozac for his problems."
Harry wondered if Snape was stripping at nightclubs lately, then shuddered violently. Snape glared at two turtledoves. Tonks pondered why Snape was glancing up at her new haircut, and then said, "Watch it, buddy! My haircut is as greasy as yours, so stop wondering and wash those nasty locks, because if you think your hair isn't wacky, buddy, you've got another mouse living in your head."
"Snape, what are you doing on Saturday?" inquired the Spork Queen.
Snape threw up a basketball, hitting Umbridge's head, making her faint. Hermione laughed, surprising the evil blue thing with a jump and piece of toast. Then the evil blue thing sang loudly, "Fa la la la la la, la la la la!!"
Then Ron said, "RUN!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!" and he did.
Then Moody squealed like a banshee. "How did I lose my buttock?!?!?!?!"
Harry and Tonks peeled bananas, then let Voldemort slip down the stairs. He was yelling, "I wanna disco!!!!"
Harry shouted, "NO, you can't!!!"
Ginny ate ice cream (banana-flavored, of course!), while Ron danced and tripped over his shoelaces. He knocked Hermione onto the couch. They began to tickle each other. As soon as Harry and Ginny ate cucumber sandwiches with peanut butter and sliced meatballs, Ginny snogged Harry while Tonks whistled and Kingsley shouted, "Get 'em, boy!!!!"
Harry proposed to freak out over Kingsley's being pantless.
"Kingsley! Where're your socks?" Ginny said.
"In your cake," replied Kingsley.
Mrs. Weasley brought Kingsley some tartan boxers and a pair of pink-hearted socks. Kingsley then gave Harry and Ginny a very good book all about naked mole rats and how to find them. Then, out of nowhere, Estella snogged Dennis, wrapping her tentacles around his ankles, pulling him into the lake. They were attacked, however, by a giant male squid. He ate Dennis. Everyone, including Estella, was horrified as the giant squid went and snogged Estella.
"Dennis!" mourned Colin.
"No!!!" screamed Estella.
The evil blue thing proposed that Clyde, the giant male squid, should try to snog someone else for a change. Estella screamed and hit Clyde in the head.
"YAY!" cheer-leaded Hermione.
"AHHH!" Everyone ran from Cheerleader!Hermione. Cheerleader!Hermione asked, "Why don't Crumple-Horned Snorkacks exist?" Luna shrieked, "YES!!!!! THEY DO!!! I saw them myself!!"
Hermione snorted and flung dungbombs at Harry and Ginny. Ginny got her secret weapon and snogged Harry while doing the chicken dance on top of a giant table. Ginny then jumped up onto Harry's new futon, falling asleep until woken up by wolves' howling. Ginny reached for the jelly from the giant table. Harry and Luna attacked the wolves with a giant stick.
"Tomorrow is another day," said Tonks. "Then you simply pick up where you left off."
Fawkes flew to the moon and found aliens eating the cheese. Voldemort was among the psycho astronauts that were sent to steal Fawkes.
"Not Fawkes!" squeaked Professor Flitwick. "Dumbledore will miss him."
"Dumbledore will rescue Fawkes."
Ginny came out and saved Fawkes. Harry ran out and said, "GINNY! So there was this Thestral that smelled of booze and ate a giant cheeseburger, then ate all your socks!"
"That's disgusting," said Mrs. Weasley.
"Have better wizards lost buttocks?"
"Yes," replied Ginny, "because you're the worst!"
"Who?" "Mad-Eye," called Kingsley, "would Harry and Hermione get on brooms and fly high to the Astronomy Tower and meet Ginny for tea?"
Moody watched as Ginny spilled the tea onto Harry's lap.
"OUCH!" yelped Harry, as Ginny placed giant towels on his head. "What do you want anyway, darling Gin-gins?"
"Socks," murmured Ginny.
Harry unloaded trucks full of socks. "YEAH!" screamed Ginny, dancing like a skeleton in a banana suit.
"Darling Gin-gins, could you please ask Tonks to pass the banana suits?"
"Free the Skeleton!!!!" shouted Hermione.
Ginny and Harry joined Ron in muttering, "Hermione started F.T.S.!!!"
Hermione now was passing out buttons to anyone who wanted to join. Mostly it was other trapped skeletons.
"It's rainy today." Ginny wondered why there was suddenly a strange owl perched on Kingsley's shoulder. Hedwig was in a big pickle jar. Harry screamed bloody murder and set Hedwig loose, but not before he ate buttered toast and oatmeal and danced disco. Ginny slapped him with a herring and poured oatmeal all over his new tux, while Ron discoed with Hermione, who was wearing a striped jumpsuit.
Then a lightning bolt struck Umbridge. The members of the D.A. flew around on broomsticks, kidnapping pink bits of parchment and wearing F.T.S. buttons. The monkeys attacked super flying newspapers with great force. Suddenly, a massive flying thingummywhatsit that eats super flying newspapers landed right on the sock tower, startling the monkeys. They were really mad. Ginny ran to Harry and snogged his elbow.
"Look, it's got giant hairy feet that have no socks, flying all over his writhing body. Padfoot and Buckbeak ambushed greasy Snivellus with a large puffy pom-pom. Voldie then Apparated and sang *NSYNC!!"
"My ears! My ears have fallen into the soup!"
"Mine, too!" shouted Dumbledore, while snogging his own elbow. Evil blue things stole socks, giving them Ginny. Ginny kicked the snogged elbows, then snogged Harry Potter. "Drinks all around!" shouted Professor Sprout.
"I want Firewhiskey!" said Hagrid. "Scrapbooking is my new three-headed dog."
Bill shouted, "Don't drop the disco ball!!! Or Scrapbooking will bite your big sockless foot!"
"I need my super-duper, fantabulous, one-of-a-kind frilly underpants!!!" said Snape, jumping into a banana suit, trapped forever. "Don't free Snape!" said Lord Thingy. "The Boy-Who-Lived IS HERE FOREVER!!!!!!"
"Well, aren't you a clever fellow to figure out that banana suits are stuck forever!" screamed out a friend of Hermione's. Her name was Arianrhod, freed skeleton and keeper of lost broken bones and hostile banana suits.
Hermione tackled Arianrhod, pinning F.T.S. buttons all over her suits. Harry and Mrs. Weasley ate poppy seeds. Ron threw up on Hermione. Hermione slapped Ron, and then Ron rinsed his mouth.