I like this. It's an unusual perspective and an original idea... only Anne is bothering me just a little. I know you want her to be quiet and withdrawn, but somehow, she seems to be a bit too much so. You know, all this "I'm not a real person"-stuff is fine once or twice, but she thinks that all the time... She sounds like someone who would take an overdose of sleeping pills to slip off quietly.
I may have rambled on about this a bit too much. It's really just a small point; I guess that she'll get better in future chapters, anyway. I'm off to read them, then.
I'll second that motion! I've loved your work on Sugar Quill - Anne and Theo are some of the most well-realized characters I've read in HP fan fiction, I think. I'm glad you're now posting on my new favorite fan fiction site! Hope your writing is going well!