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Reviews For The Seventh Horcrux by Melindaleo

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lindablinda
Sunday 24th June 2007 08:46


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 3

1: Secrets Unravelled
hi there,
i found your story on another site, you might wanna check that out.
but uh, i really really loved it.
some parts, im sorry to say, were a little predicted, but i loved in nonetheless.
i was fooled that this was really the 7th book and showed it to others, but i was saddened by someone who\'d pointed out that this was anot actually the book.
you did a really good job of guessing and interpreting what is to come in the next book..
and after i found out this was not the book, i was SO ANGRYY!
haha. i guess its because i really wanted this to book to be true because harry and everyone has a happy ending
-sigh-
well... everything but the dursleys...
oh yeah i have a question bout that..
harrys mom, lily, is magical but her sister petunia isnt.
implying that sometimes magical-ness doesnt run in the family
how can she pass down the magical-ness to dudley? haha
just wondering, is all
again, thanks for doing such a good job, and i apologize for the die hard fans accusing you of doing a bad job impersonating rowling.
haha.
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bl00mie
Saturday 23rd June 2007 07:45


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 4

1: Secrets Unravelled
and by "editorializing", i meant "editing". sheesh
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bl00mie
Saturday 23rd June 2007 05:24


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 4

1: Secrets Unravelled
and by "editorializing", i meant "editing". sheesh
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bl00mie
Saturday 23rd June 2007 05:19


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 4

1: Secrets Unravelled
I stumbled across this story doing a little googling about DH. I had serious doubts that a fan-written story, especially one as long as this, could keep me entertained enough to read to finish. But you had me hooked by Chapter 2, and I subsequently spent most of my free time reading it this last week.

The story was really quite excellent. I did stumble across a few typographical errors, I noticed several occurrences of repeated ideas, and there was an over-use of a few words (sorry I don't have specifics... I'm kicking myself for not taking notes). I think with a little professional editorializing, this could actually be a very well received professional novel. Too bad JKR would sue.

Anyway, excellent job! I sincerely hope you will write sequels ignoring discrepancies from DH. As JKR seems uninterested in writing sequels, I fear the version of the Potter universe that you've crafted will lend itself more readily to fun stories than the one she's going to leave us with in July. I think you would have some loyal readers. I know I would be one of them.
Melindaleo
Saturday 23rd June 2007 06:21
1: Secrets Unravelled (Author Response)
Oh, thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it, I had a lot of fun writing it. I do hope to finish something original someday, but right now I'm just caught up in the HP moment.

Thanks very much for taking the time to let me know you enjoyed it.
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Darcy
Friday 22nd June 2007 13:49


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 1

1: Secrets Unravelled
Sorry in advance for the harsh tone--a friend sent this story to me as \"the real thing,\" and in my reply I just methodically went through the 1st page and pointed out what I found wrong about it.

First, the stylistic aspects:

1. Rowling does not use ANY contractions (e.g. \"he\'d\", \"they\'d\"). Instead, she writes out the full phrase, such as in this example: \"He HAD been standing alone in this very office, savoring the triumph...\"

2. Rowling doesn\'t use parentheses; this author uses them right in the first paragraph, as in: \"(something he knew they’d have no problem expressing their displeasure over).\"

3. Rowling does not use big words such as \"morosely\", \"solidarity\", and \"politicking\"; after all, the HP series is primarily for children and young adults.

4. Rowling always writes in full sentences (i.e., noun+verb); this author has a one-word paragraph on the first page (\"Ginny\").

5. Rowling never uses ellipses; this author does.

6. \"Chucked\" is American slang--this presents two problems:
a) Rowling only writes slang in dialogue; this author is using it in narration.
b) Rowling is British.

7. Rowling does not use offensive or extreme words such as \"freak\", which appears in the first paragraph.

8. Rowling almost never uses verbs of being; this author is too passive.

Enough with the stylistic aspects; let\'s talk about facts:

9. The real version is 784 pages, while this one is only 659.

10. A \"leaked\" manuscript has not made the news--only that the ending had supposedly been leaked. Given the popularity of HP, a huge leak such as this would make the news almost immediately.

But let\'s also talk about content:

11. Harry would never describe Ron and Hermione as \"freaks\".

12. In previous books, Harry never refers to his aim of killing You-Know-Who a \"quest\".

13. There\'s an internal contradiction in the first page: in the first paragraph, Harry says that taking his friends to meet the Dursleys would be \"horrible\", yet in a flashback he definitively concludes that it would be \"quite nice.\"

14. HUGE, multi-step contradiction:
a)the author first says that Harry was going to Apparate to his house. Then he says that he took the train from King\'s Cross \"to Privet Drive.\" Finally, he says that Apparating is illegal. Hmm...
b) There\'s a railroad station on Privet Drive? Rowling would have phrased it more eloquently and correctly.
c) Apparating is NOT illegal, after one passes the test--Fred and George did it all the time in the Weasley house, before Harry\'s 4th year at Hogwarts.

And that\'s just the first page. Although good for the (albeit poor) HP fan-fiction standards (because most fans are young), to say that this is the real thing would be a HUGE stretch. it, this is why I can\'t derive enjoyment fan fiction--I just get pissed about how all fan-fic authors are unfaithful to the original text.
Melindaleo
Saturday 23rd June 2007 06:24
1: Secrets Unravelled (Author Response)
Well, I might have thought it was harsh if not for the fact I noticed such a vast number of fallacies in your statements. If you're really such a die-hard fan of JK Rowling, than show her the respect of waiting for the real story until she's ready to tell it and not searching the Internet for leaked copies.

This is fanfiction, and I've never claimed that it was anything else.
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RandomHero
Sunday 17th June 2007 19:24


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 1

1: Secrets Unravelled
Hey, just wanted to say that I really enjoyed your fanfic. My favorite part was definitely the Harry/Ginny aspect. I've always been a big fan of Ginny and was happy she okayed such a big part in the story.

Is it the same in "The Power of Emotion" and "Curse of the Damned"?
Melindaleo
Friday 22nd June 2007 01:41
1: Secrets Unravelled (Author Response)
Thanks! Ginny is one of my favorites, too, and I like to give her a bigger role.

My other two stories are also h/g, but they take place after OotP and before HBP was written.
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BloodySeraphim
Sunday 17th June 2007 10:30


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 25

1: Secrets Unravelled
Like many others here, I signed up just to say that this was the best work I've ever read.

A friend on a forum introduced it as the "real" seventh story, but after the overemphasis on Ginny's breasts (lol), it was pretty obvious this was a fanfiction.

This was my first time reading a story in one go without a break. I think I read this in about 15 hours. Nonstop. With an occasional bathroom break though.

The epilogue was kinda...sappy though.

Once again, the best read ever. I hope J.K, Rowling's real 7th book will be at least as good as this, or I'll be extremely disappointed...
Melindaleo
Friday 22nd June 2007 01:42
1: Secrets Unravelled (Author Response)
Thanks very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Yep, its definitely fanfiction and written for those of us who long for a bit more romance in Harry's life.

As for the ending - I can only hope that Harry's real ending gives us some warm fuzzies. No one deserve it more than him - I think so, anyway.
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Ragnar1211
Sunday 10th June 2007 13:45


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 1

1: Secrets Unravelled
I read this book in a couple of days. You did a great job.

Things I really Liked:
1) The depth of the Harry/Ginny relationship was well developed.
2) How finally Harry Got Powerful (I hated how weak JKR depicted him in HBP)
3) The great teamwork to defeat Voldemort.

Things that made me cry:
1) Lupin / Tonks - what self sacrificing!
2) Harry talking with all the folks in the "Go Between", especially Sirius and his parents.

Favorite line:

"I said zat no one is going to take away ze fazer of my bebe" Classic! Tears of joy picturing Greyback get devoured!

Best Addition to the story:

The debrief and prologue after the battle - I hope JKR does something similar. I feel we all need some closure if this is going to be the last book.


Overall Thoughts:

I think the story was definately good. Maybe a little weak in the beginning but definately picked up steam and the last half was tremendous.

Main Criticism:

I think you used the word "Merlin" a little too much... for my liking anyway.

Total Rating (Compared to JKR and Compared to books in general)
7/10 compared to JKR and 9/10 compared to books in general.

Keep up the good work!

By the way, do you have a Sequel written, or was the death of Harry's aunt and uncle just a teaser?
Melindaleo
Friday 22nd June 2007 01:45
1: Secrets Unravelled (Author Response)
Thanks so much for taking the time to let me know you enjoyed it! I always love a reviewer who will give me specifics!

I'm a big fan of the "aftermath" to a battle, so I'm hoping we get some of that in this last book, tool. I think my favorite scene was in GoF in the hospital wing after the Third Task.

I don't have a sequel planned at the moment (although its certainly floating around in my head). We'll see what happens after the real deal in July.
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randomname12345
Thursday 7th June 2007 20:43


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 1

1: Secrets Unravelled
Hello Melindaleo,

A disclaimer first, I've not read all the reviews, so I may shadow another reviewer. Let me also say I was very gullible, reading the ENTIRE thing before realizing it was fanfic, heh. Comments first, then questions.

-I will not ramble on with praise about the book too long, just know it was a really wonderful and inventive story. I mostly appreciated: the connection between Harry and Ginny, turning up the romance, reading from the perspective of different readers, the scars at the end of the book, and the comedic stylings of Fred, George, and Ginny.

-I would have really appreciated elaboration in two areas:
1. JKR did an excruciating amount of foreshadowing with regard to Ron and Hermione. I feel their relationship was not emphasized or elaborated on enough in The Seventh Horcrux.

2. The occlumency lessons from Malfoy. When I started the chapter, my mind went wild with possibilities, we could have delved into the dynamics of their relationship much deeper.

Ok, question time:

-Are you married? I suspect you are married in a traditional role, because you chose for Ginny and Harry to play very traditional roles in their relationship.

-You were backed into so many corners by the thus-far story, what was the hardest thing to explain or write?

-When did you start and when did you finish writing this?

-Do you really believe Snape is 100% loyal to the Dark Lord? I sure don't.

-How much of your writing was determined by predictions and how much of it was stuff you wanted to happen?

-Are you planning a book to follow the epilogue? What role do you see Dudley playing in it?

One last comment, I've decided that if Harry and Ginny don't get together at the end of book 7 (or if Harry dies, which would make the former impossible), I'm just going to tell myself that your version is the authentic one.

Thanks for a week's worth of entertainment.
Melindaleo
Friday 8th June 2007 07:19
1: Secrets Unravelled (Author Response)
Oh, thanks so much! I'm sorry you were duped, but I'm thrilled you enjoyed the story and took the time to review. Let me try and answer your questions:

Ron and Hermione - yes, I think they'll get together in DH, but it will all be from Harry's perspective and Harry has typically shied away from knowing anything too personal. As for me, I'm simply more a h/g fan than I am r/hr, so I focused more on them.

Yes, I am married though I'm not sure what you mean by traditional roles. The wizarding world in general appears very traditional to me. They are married and starting a family.

This was a difficult story to write since so much of it was already set so there was much less wiggle room. The hardest part was getting all the players set up where I wanted them (such as Ginny being included). There were so many details, and I'm still annoyed I didn't managed to work in the twinkle in DDs eye from GoF.

It took me about a year to write the whole thing. I think I started the September after the release of HBP.

Snape - no, I think Snape will actually be on the good side, but most people in the fandom do, so I thought it would be more fun to make him truly bad. I would absolutely love if she shocked everyone like that, but I don't think she will.

The story is a combination of my predictions, my preferences, and just plain what I thought would make an interesting story. I don't believe we'll see Umbridge as Minister, but I did think it made a fun plot twist.

I do have thoughts in mind for a sequel, but I'm holding off to see what happens in DH. Dudley, of course, would have a very significant role. I think Dudley has shown he as the ability to attract followers - he just needs a larger, evil brain to back him up.

Does that help? I'm confident in h/g. I think if Harry's great power is love, JKR wouldn't have set their whole relationship up in HBP. Harry already had his failed relationship, now he needs one that will help him survive.
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samschorb
Thursday 7th June 2007 02:01


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 2

1: Secrets Unravelled
I too registered on the site purely to congratualte you for writing such an astoundingly good piece. I'd almost prefer not to read the real thing as i would imagine it would only serve to ruin this. Pure GENIUS, i am staggered!!!
Melindaleo
Thursday 7th June 2007 06:42
1: Secrets Unravelled (Author Response)
Aww, thanks so much! I'm delighted you enjoyed it, and also took the time to register to review. I'm certain the real deal will blow it out of the water, but in the meantime, you've really made this aspiring writer's day!
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samschorb
Thursday 7th June 2007 02:01


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 2

1: Secrets Unravelled
I too registered on the site purely to congratualte you for writing such an astoundingly good piece. I'd almost prefer not to read the real thing as i would imagine it would only serve to ruin this. Pure GENIUS, i am staggered!!!
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mistams
Wednesday 6th June 2007 21:16


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 4

1: Secrets Unravelled
great book! i really should be studying but i read this instead. it's thew first fan fic i've ever read and i was so excited! thanks heaps
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dwarbucks
Tuesday 5th June 2007 10:19


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 1

1: Secrets Unravelled
Wonderful story, and beautifully written - I put off a number of things I should have been doing in order to finish it. I would have loved it if there was a way for the Weasleys to find out what Percy had done for them, but I can't see how to do it.

I was another person who found this site through the torrent, or more precisely the comments posted under it on thepiratebay. Glad I found it.
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galeena
Tuesday 5th June 2007 06:21


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 1

1: Secrets Unravelled
I had to register just so that I could congratulate you on the wonderful piece of fiction you have shared with us. Thank you! I couldn't stop reading for two days straight.

I only hope JKR's book will be half as good.

Thank you again for sharing.
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jknezek
Monday 4th June 2007 07:44


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 1

1: Secrets Unravelled
This was fabulous! The first fan-fic I read and my wife and I both loved it. Congratulations. I can't wait for Rowling's version, but I am already satisfied someone has written an excellent concluding chapter. And here comes every useless critics BUT.... the ending drug on a little bit. However, I sensed that you didn't want to leave your creation, and totally respect that knowing that I could not have done what you did. Congrats and thanks!
Melindaleo
Monday 4th June 2007 13:01
1: Secrets Unravelled (Author Response)
Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I can't wait for the real thing, either! I'm not sure if you read the online version, or the one here at PS. The one here at PS has some Author Notes where I talk about the long ending. My favorite part of the canon scenes are the aftermath ones, and I never feel we get enough. I know some others feel that way, as well, so I wrote this one with a very long aftermath. I'm glad you enjyoyed the rest of it though!
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horcrux fan
Friday 1st June 2007 02:26


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 3

1: Secrets Unravelled
I was one of the many people duped into thinking that this was a 'leaked' version and I am so glad that I'm gullible!!!
In 3 days I had devoured the whole story and found it to be one of the best reads I have had in any genre since HBP. I know you say that you are only borrowing the characters and the copyright issues are vast but I will say that JKR (even with her immense prowess and talent in writing Harry) will have a tough time matching your story! I have spread the word to my family and friends who, even as an older generation, are potter maniacs for obvious reasons and have told them about the story. I do not think that Deathly Hallows will suffer in the slightest from what you have written and if anything it has made me anticipate it even more! You have done Harry Potter and the characters proud and I hope to see more of your writing, in any form, hopefully on bookshelves one day!

p.s. nice save on the secret keeper by the way!LOL
Melindaleo
Monday 4th June 2007 13:03
1: Secrets Unravelled (Author Response)
Oh, thanks so much! I'm thrilled with all the new readers, and I'm very pleased it's being enjoyed again. I'm sorry you were duped, but can't say I'm sorry that you took the time to review and are sending others this way! Thanks very much.
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h0py
Thursday 31st May 2007 13:50


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 1

1: Secrets Unravelled
First of all, i want to congratulate you on your fantastic story i just finished reading not five minutes ago.
You have a natural talent for writing such a beautiful, awe inspiring and original story to an already fantastic series, you have done JK, the fans any no doubt many other aspiring authors proud!
I started reading this story with some doubt, as it is my first fan fiction to have read through entirely, however i picked it up straight away and i did not want to leave my computer until i had read the whole story. The only problem now is i have to remember it isnt JKs work!
Once again, thank you so much for making a fantastic story that even some professional authors have not reached. I am in doubt that any fan fiction author could write with your skill.
Thank you.
Melindaleo
Monday 4th June 2007 13:11
1: Secrets Unravelled (Author Response)
Oh, thanks so much! I'm thrilled to hear you enjoyed it! I had a great time writing it, and I do hope to branch out into something original in the future. Thanks very much for taking the time to review.
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twinklystar_hp
Monday 21st May 2007 13:42


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 1

1: Secrets Unravelled
Great Peice of Work! Gosh i wish Rowling wud think just like you and give us more of ginny harry scenes
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silverriaz
Sunday 20th May 2007 23:06


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 1

1: Secrets Unravelled
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Smita
Sunday 20th May 2007 20:47


1st year
Num. of Reviews: 1

1: Secrets Unravelled
Hi,
I registered only to give you a review..
As many have said,its an awesome story and I took it to be original as I got it as the 'leaked' version.I was only concerned about the snogging bits as I didnt think they belonged to the 7 onwards age group that harry potter is targeted at..
Anyway, will not ramble and just salute you for such a wonderful story- one I can hang on to if jkr's book is going to end in tragedy for any of the 4 i love.
Keep writing.
Melindaleo
Monday 4th June 2007 13:13
1: Secrets Unravelled (Author Response)
Well, thanks for registering just to leave the review, I appreciate that. As for the snogging, I think there was plenty of it in HBP, and this story is rated PG-13. I don't think there was anything more graphic than can be seen on primetime tv, and I did try to keep in that way. I'm glad you enjoyed it - and have a little faith. I really don't believe JKR intends to kill Harry. Good needs to triumph in the end.
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