This story was recommended by a friend to me and now I know why. I never would have thought to include that bit about Dudley. That is a stroke of genius. I enjoy the fact that they will have to live as muggles for a little while. Who knows that and Dudley may turn out to be valuable assets. I can't wait to read on.
'We gave you food and shelter for all these years out of the goodness of our hearts' -- do Dursleys have any goodness in their hearts?
'Harry couldn’t blame them; Dudley wasn’t much to look at' -- leave it to Harry to misunderstand Ron and Hermione's displeasure
'she could simply cast a Cheering Charm before they left' -- yes, leave Dudley as a wizard. What are Dursleys going to do? Forbid Harry to return? They're already doing that. I suppose Dudley could become a Death Eater . . .
'25' 'chapters' -- and its now 34
Very interesting and well-written. Interesting permutations you introduce.
Oh frabjous day!
How do you do it? Your writing is superb.
This opening chapter is so filled with promise for another wonderful journey. The idea of Dudley as a surpressed wizard is absolutely brilliant!
This is my third Melindaleo and I couldn't be happier to see that it's 31 chapters!!!
I'm so glad you're in the HP world.
I fell in love with power of emotion and curse of the damned. So when I saw you were writing another story of equal long length, I immediately started reading. I just wish I had been on the computer more often to read this. I have a lot of catching up to do. Anyway, great job. I absolutely loved your theory on Dudley being a wizard. Wouldn't it be wonderful if it turned out to be true in the 7th book? Keep writing and I'll keep reading!
I doubt you'd remember but I've started your fics a couple of times before, and now that I'm getting back into reading fics after a long post-HBP break I've decided to give this one a try. Let me start by thanking you for all the hard work you've obviously put in on this. It seems that a lot of the old-crowd authors (myself certainly included) have been reticent about starting novel-length fics in the current canon environment but you've obviously dived in freely. So, again, thanks.
As for the chapter, you deserve credit for coming up with an extremely clever hook at the start of the story. Having Dudley suddenly spewing magic was a twist that caught me completely by surprise, yet by adding a little bit of backstory to background details in canon and by making Petunia's and Dudley's reactions so in character you've made it believable. I also like how it gave you an early point of conflict and let you work Hermione and Ron into the plot so smoothly. And it opens so many fun approaches you could use next, too!
Anyway, you've obviously got some wonderful ideas at play here and I like that your writing's very clean and smooth. I'm not a fan of fluff or heavy use of descriptive narration, though, so I'm holding off on an overall opinion for now. But you've definitely piqued my interest. Good work.
Melindaleo Saturday 22nd July 2006 00:41
1: Secrets Unravelled (Author Response)
Hello and welcome back!
I'm thrilled to see and "old face" (or I suppose "old name", and I'm delighted you're giving it a try. I'm not heavy into the fluff either - I much prefer the angst - but descriptive narration, well, that's a necessary evil. I hope you won't find it too much.
Great first chapter. I especially liked the repetition of the word "Ginny." Harry's thoughts felt so natural that it didn't seemed forced and since it felt like the thought of Ginny was supposed to just keep sneaking up on him I think it had a wonderful effect.
I also love the twist that Dudley is a wizard. I have always wondered what Dumbledore would have had over Petunia to keep Harry with them every summer. Great answer to that
Looking forward to reading the next chapter and lucky for me, since I'm starting a little late reading this, there's two more waiting for me.
Hello! I thought that reading your new fic would be a good place to start my re-introduction into reading fanfics. What a strong beginning! I appreciated how you picked up right after HBP and satisfied the Potterphile's curiosity for "what's next"? You really have your pulse on the Dursleys and I enjoyed reading Petunia's exchanges with Harry. Your interpretation of Dumbledore's words ("appalling damage" to Dud) is wonderfully ironic and sooooo satisfying. HA! Take that Dursleys! I look forward to seeing where you're going to take us and what adventures (in love *wink*) you have planned for Harry.