hehe. I understand, but this action with both recieving AK is too long (so quite doubtfull). Actually, rather then embrace he could just shove her out. But ofc then we would loose your plot . Looking forward to full story. At this moment I'm already reading few stories, so not to mess it all I'll wait for a while.
Ron and Hermione!?! This is horrible. To survive the death of Voldemort and to die by Lucius Malfoy. I wait to see what happens next. Thanks for writing. p
Hmm. I'm not sure if its too rushed or to confusing or what, but I'm not buying what your selling.
I think the becomming freinds with Draco came way to easily. I know Hermione is forgiving, but Ron is not. I think he would have had more resistence to this, and I don't think he would have called Draco a friend a month later.
I also though Draco's change in character came far to easily. No he didn't want to follow the Dark Lord, and he's not as evil as he claims, but he's not a good guy. He still thinks he's superior to everyone. Why would he have been crying after the battle at Hogwarts. Draco got practically everything he wanted. Yes he lost his two goons, that he'd once thought of as friends, but they'd betrayed him in the end. I think he would have felt they got what they deserved.
I'm sure there is a reason you rushed towards the moment of Hermione and Ron getting AK'd by Lucious, but if you hurry to much then your audience (that's me) has a hard time following.
Don't take it as harsh criticism. I'm just giving you one readers view on what made it hard to get into the story.
I wouldn't want to annoy you, you're one of my very best readers.
lantis222 Wednesday 24th October 2007 09:18
1: A New Threat Arises (Author Response)
It's going to take a lot more than a little criticism to annoy me and make me stop reading your story. it's way too good. Besides, if I don't know where to improve how can I? I really appreciate your honesty.
I do agree that the friendship with Draco came too easily and it is a little rushed. When I first started writing this, chapters 1 and 2 were actually combined. Now that was confusing even for me and I know what's going to happen. Draco didn't even enter the equation until much later but he just sorta fit for me there. I know it's not quite right. Someday when it's all said and done maybe I'll go back and re-write it. Right now, I'm just not sure how without adding at least two chapters onto my story.
I actually haven't written anything since I was in high school so I'm a bit out of practice. I hope you'll find my later chapters better. I think they are. Anyway, this is getting way too long. Thank you for letting me know what you think. I know I'll improve because of the things you have to say. Thanks again!
Wow! it's amazing to see what all these different people do with the end of DH!
I'm hurrying on to the next chapter because I'm stressed about Hermione...
lantis222 Friday 19th October 2007 14:05
1: A New Threat Arises (Author Response)
Don't stress, she's alright. But then you already know that. Thanks for reviewing, and if I didn't say it before, I love your story.
I really liked your story and am anxious to read the next chapter.
One small thing. I think you want to say who's there instead of whose there.
lantis222 Saturday 13th October 2007 13:14
1: A New Threat Arises (Author Response)
Thank you for pointing that out. It just goes to show that we all miss things. Thank you for the review as well, the next chapter will be up in a couple of days.
The second chapter is already beta'd and ready to go. We're just waiting a few days before posting. Thank you for your review, they really make my day!
oh wow...that was good....but its not going to become a Hr/D thing is it?
lantis222 Thursday 11th October 2007 15:40
1: A New Threat Arises (Author Response)
Don't worry, I'm R/Hr all the way. I do admire a good friendship between Draco and Hermione though. Unfortunately in my story that doesn't happen. What you saw is the closest they come to a lasting friendship.
Thank you so very much for reviewing. I love them and they always make my day!
? a bit out of character for everyone but narcissa, hermione, and harry. I don't think Lucius would ever be that evil remeber the end of DH? Lucius and Narcissa hardly cared about anything expect their son hmm, well I can tell this is a good peice, because I really like the tone, maybe it will make more sense after a reread...
I do like your style though!
lantis222 Thursday 11th October 2007 11:08
1: A New Threat Arises (Author Response)
Just keep in mind that Lucius is Imperiused. When Narcissa says that he isn't in his right mind it's so true.
I've re-written this so many times and I've tried to do it without the Malfoy's involvement but as you read you'll understand why they had to die the way they did.
Thank you for reviewing and I look forward to more of your comments. I can't improve without them.
Not quite yet The next chapter will be posted soon. Thank you for reviewing it means so very much to me! I can't wait for an update on your story as well.
hmm, well I can tell this is a good peice, because I really like the tone, maybe it will make more sense after a reread...
The next chapter will be posted soon. Thank you for reviewing it means so very much to me! I can't wait for an update on your story as well.