aww ... that's sad. And far to short for my liking!!
I always thought Petunia must be a very sad person, and that by treating Harry and Dudley so differently she was trying to get beack at Lily for being the special one. But returning letters is the meanest thing...
Very cute, as always. Kepp em coming
angelmorph Tuesday 5th September 2006 09:51
Twenty-one (Author Response)
Thank you for your review. I'm sorry about the length, I have a hard time writing them longer. On that note, chapter 24 is longer...
I think Petunia's hatred of magic is probably a combination of jealousy and the blame that I hinted at in this chapter. Nobody hates something so venomously due to jealousy...
And Petunia is definitely mean, don't think there's any redemption in there for her (at least not in this story).
I promise, cross my heart, hope to crash, stick a wand up my--
Yep, sounds like Sirius.
As much as I am enjoying the interaction going, it seems that things are moving a bit slowly. This is chapter thirteen, and Hogwarts doesn't seem in sight.
angelmorph Wednesday 26th July 2006 16:27
Thirteen (Author Response)
Do keep in mind that my chpters tend to be rather short, what many would call just scenes. That said, time should be speeding up a little in the coming chapters. Even so, I don't think Hogwarts will be making an appearance unless I decide to go ahead with a sequel.
Good scene with Neville talking to Snakes. Yes, it was expected, though maybe not this early; I don't think it would have manifested for a couple of years. It could be put off as accidental magic, but that comes out in stressful situations. Saying "hello" to a snake could hardly be classified as stressful.
angelmorph Wednesday 26th July 2006 16:21
Eleven (Author Response)
Thank you. I'm not exactly sure what you mean regarding accidental magic. I don't see how a child could "accidentally" manifest a power/talent they don't actually have...
"No, it's just that the house looks small from here. Did it shrink?"
Now that sounds like a little kid
Oh, I meant to mention this several chapters ago. I don't think Harry would be an only child. Surely James and Lily did not intend to stop with only one child; it was only because of their "premature" death at the hand of Voldemort that Harry is an only child. Harry should have some younger siblings if James and Liy survive.
angelmorph Wednesday 26th July 2006 16:19
Nine (Author Response)
Don't worry, I hadn't forgotten that. Harry won't be an only child (though loosly speaking he already isn't), I promise...
Wow, I was right . . . Augusta is quite paranoid. I can understand her concern, though. But I think she would realize that with Voldie gone, the Deaters are in hiding. And after four years they're not going to be trying to cause trouble -- just save their hides. But I think you're right that there's going to be tension in how Neville is raised. Lily is right to let the boy have as normal a life as possible. That's one reason why I think what Rowling had Dumbledore do in putting Harry with his relatives actually worked; he had more chance at a normal life there than among wizards who would have idolized and pampered him. I don't think Harry would have the strength to defeat Voldie otherwise; though, of course, he would probably be better able to share his feelings and accept their love and help, but that's another issue.
angelmorph Wednesday 26th July 2006 16:08
Eight (Author Response)
I assure you that Naville will be neither idolized, nor pampered in the Potter household. As an added bonus, he'll be loved...
So Lily's taken it upon herself to educate Colin. I think she'd be a bit more cautious, as Colin is naturally going to tell his parents. I did like the bit about the Snakes and Ladders game. Do the snakes bite But this seems to be more about Colin than Neville and Harry.
angelmorph Wednesday 26th July 2006 16:04
7: Seven (Author Response)
Lily isn't too worried about him telling his parents, since it is something they would eventually learn about. I doubt they will believe him at first, but when they do, I can see her being completely open with them about it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the game. The snakes don't bite, they don't even hiss or Neville might have had some luck talking to them. I admit that this chapter did focus a fair bit on Colin, but he is not the focus of the story as a whole.
Cute piece with Colin's blurting out the magicalness of the neighbors. But the conversation with the boys comes across to me more like 6 or 7 than 3 and 4.
angelmorph Wednesday 26th July 2006 15:59
6: Six (Author Response)
Thank you, I'm gld you like. Thanks for pointing out the problem with the boys in this chapter; having them act their age is one of my major concerns for this story. Unfortunately, there's nothing much I can do in this case short of scrpping the entire chapter, but please do continue to point it out if you see the problem recur.
I thought the Fidelius was cast on a location not a person.
So it looks like Neville is almost as awkward as in canon . . . shy anyway. it'll be interesting to see what role Harry will play as he's no longer the one who has to defeat Voldie. I guess that's why you had to have Neville raised by Lily and James, so that Harry could have a central role in the story.
I want to hear the story about Colin's accidental magic (especially since it made the Creevey's move)
angelmorph Wednesday 26th July 2006 03:38
5: Five (Author Response)
With regards to the Fidelius, my understanding is that there are two ways that it can be cast. The way it was cast to protect the Potters in canon:
"As long as the Secret-Keeper refused to speak, You-Know-Who could search the village where Lily and James were staying for years and never find them, not even if he had his nose pressed against their sitting room window!"
which involves making a person undetectable in a certain location. Or the way it was cast on Headquaters, where the secret is the location of a building rather than it's occupants.
Neville will develop in the coming chapters. he might still be awkward, but ceratinly not to the degree of canon. Keeping Harry in the story is part of the reason why I wanted Neville raised by the Potters. However, the story does not revolve around Harry, but around the two of them.
The story of Colin's accidental magic... I'd completly forgotten about that. perhaps I'll have to write an outtake about it.
Thank you for your review,
P.S. I'll reply to the rest of your reviews later. Have to get to work...
Isn't it bit much that Colin Creevy just happens to move in next door? And where is Dennis? Aren't you making Augusta a bit paranoid? 4 years later and still the Fidelius Charm. I bet Dennis' mom just about had a fit when he up and disappeared
angelmorph Wednesday 26th July 2006 03:30
4: Four (Author Response)
If you think Colin is a bit much, you shall absolutely hate me for the events of chapter 4... I admit it's quite a stretch, but not outside the realms of possibility. Dennis will make an appearance, Augusta is paranoid. The Fidelius will be along for quite a while longer. And Mrs. Creevey did have quite the fit...
Nice bit there with Sirius thinking James is cracking up and than pulling a prank . I was angry at Augusta at first, but then she apologized. I guess it fits with all she's gone through that she might snap like that.
angelmorph Wednesday 26th July 2006 03:24
Three (Author Response)
Thank you. Unfortunately, the incident with Augusta is part of a long string of such incidents, as I'm sure you realize by now...
some of the Death Eaters still at large heard me tell my Lord that I was the secret-keeper
but I thought he didn't tell -- in the last chapter he was mumbling
I just wanted to tell him that the Potters made me secret-keeper
. Wanting to tell is not the same as telling.
So Lily and James become "parents" to Neville, raising him for his grandmother. Interesting.
angelmorph Wednesday 26th July 2006 03:21
2: Two (Author Response)
Hmm... perhaps mumbling was a poor choice of words (I should probably change that, thanks for pointing it out). Peter was exasperated. He said it loud enough to be heard. You're right that he didn't tell... but he did say...
Yes, Lily and James will raise Neville, probably a fair stretch of the imagination but..