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tujunga
Sunday 21st August 2005 19:08 | That Muted Sort of Longing | hi
love the story going to read chap 3 now
just wondering if you were irish with the whole dogs in galway
Coz I'm Irish and you normally don't find that many of us around
tujunga | pixiellie
Monday 30th August 2004 15:54 | That Muted Sort of Longing | Dear Serendipity,
Another outstanding chapter to this story. In sharp contrast to the first chapter, you display a great more humor as well as dialogue. Right off the bat there were scenes that struck me as wonderful. The interaction between Ron and Hermione, both their word play and the silly nudging. I find it interesting that you had Harry meet her eyes over this, in cannon they always seem to share quiet humor as well. Great way to phrase the ‘ongoing Ron and Hermione fiasco'.
Ginny’s sense of humor really comes out to play here, as well as her introspection on the Cho mystique. I love that she thinks about asking cute boys questions and having them meet Cho. Much better than Ginny getting depressed or disappointed. Her quiet acceptance shows how she has grown I think, and her humor underscores that there are more important things in life . . .
Such as once again being cast as a second class citizen by the trio. What a slap in the face. (Even though later in the chapter we find the other three aren’t totally forsaken.) Yet, in a change from the first chapter, instead of having Ginny’s in depth thoughts on the scene, Luna jerks us to the present. This makes the reader focus on the action around Ginny, keeping us involved. I like both styles, and you handled the scene nicely.
Once again Harry and Ginny have a quiet scene together, with a quidditch theme. Am I sensing a pattern? Grin. Harry actually initiated their talk this time as well. I love Ginny thinking about Harry ‘noticing’ her. And then he had to bring up her shyness! No! She handled it better than I would have.
Nice mentioning of the bark of laughter as well, you wrote earlier of Harry showing some Sirius tendencies. There’s a sexiness to this scene I wasn’t expecting, and really it’s very innocent, but well done. Once again you evoke emotions, this time the difference between a little girls crush and a young woman’s attraction.
Great turn of phrase in “There was an almost lazy desire that licked at her when she observed him. When coupled with often her cool admiration of his Quidditch skills, she found herself left with thoughts she knew she shouldn't be having. Perhaps her brothers were right, girls really did prefer the deviants.” This made me laugh. I know that feeling she’s talking about, and we DO prefer deviants. Grin.
In contrast to the last chapter, where the ending broke my heart, you give me hope! Harry looking at Gin through the shadows, after a wonderful talk and even a little flirting? Yay! I can’t wait to read the next chapter to see what comes of it. Once again you grammar and spelling were spot on. I look forward to seeing what happens next. Thank you for sharing your imagination with the rest of us. Best wishes
Pix’ellie
ellie
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