p0tterfan
Wednesday 21st July 2004 00:50 | The Letters of Summer |
| Great great story. I really think yours is the best non-comedy story posted on PS so far. Really great job! |
kitty25478
Thursday 15th July 2004 01:21 | The Letters of Summer |
| ok, wow what a story. I had only read the first three chapters on sugarquill. I then stumbled on this site where I found your longer story. I like it. Its very well written. the intermission was funny. I had tears of laughter on my face. I look forward for the next chapter. |
Comet Moon
Friday 2nd July 2004 07:36 | The Letters of Summer |
| Need more soon. Withdraws |
Lady Chi
Sunday 6th June 2004 20:50 | The Letters of Summer |
Ah, Kokopelli. I finally find the time to read and review your fanfic. I must say, it was well worth the wait.
I particularly enjoyed your singularly unique approach to Harry's sixth year... It reminded me strikingly of your beta, Aibhinn, and of course, Ruskbyte. Rarely do I enjoy a "special powers" Harry story, but this one was very well written.
I enjoyed all the use of "chi", by the way. It always gives me a childish thrill to see even my nickname in print. (Yes, I realize it's a form of energy, etc...)
Your characterization was spot on. I really enjoyed your Remus and Tonks.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
~Chi~ |
Dice
Sunday 6th June 2004 20:17 | The Letters of Summer |
| Love the storyline and the plot. Can't really think of anything, so I'm anxiously awiting your next installment |
DailyProphetReporting
Saturday 5th June 2004 03:29 | The Letters of Summer |
I finally got around to reading this yesterday, and as usual, you did not disapoint. You provide so much detail that it all seems very real and easy to visualize.
The bit that most jumped out at me was the first scene with Ginny and Jasmine. You conveyed the tension so well with Jasmine's nervousness and Ginny's hostility. But it didn't take long to get to By the time they reached the meadow, Ginny was almost skipping. That's quite a turnaround but is still very convincing. Ginny comes across well as both a teenage girl and as someone in love.
In fact, I thought you did a excellent job with Ginny throughout this chapter. She's defiant, funny and determined in all the right places. You even show a bit of arrogance in her. She comes across very much like she did in Book 5.
You also deserve credit for finding a way to complicate Harry's life even further. That's quite a combination, giving him physical evidence that he's fated to be with Ginny, knowing he (and she!) will mate for life and not knowing the amount of ... er ... interaction they can have before they become bonded. As if Dark Lords weren't enough of a problem! His overall confusion and distrust comes across very well.
And Jasmine continues to be among my favorite original characters. She does just about everything in this chapter -- bodyguard, administrative assistant, cook, teacher. She even takes the time to look out for Harry's emotional well-being. But it all fits together well and she doesn't take over the story even though much of the time she drives the story. As I've said before, you have a great talent with OCs.
Anyway, this is another another excellent chapter!
-KC |
| Saturday 5th June 2004 03:29 | The Letters of Summer (Author Response) |
Thanks, KC.
Writing Ginny is hard. I got half way through this chapter and realized that I was writing pre-OotP Ginny, the pale virginal girl who's defined by her unrequited love for Harry.
Blech!
So, I worked on making her a bit more mouthy. I have a teen-aged daughter, and have worked with teens for years, so it's not too much of a stretch to write a teen, but Ginny is hard.
Jasmine, on the other hand, is fairly easy - the hard part is reigning her in so she doesn't take over. Chapter 18 is the last we see of her, and she almost takes over that chapter. Jasmine in red leather, Jasmine on a motorcycle, Jasmine ballroom dancing, Jasmine trying to tell which boy is Harry and which boy is a morphed up Tonks. Mmmmmm - Jasmine.
Thanks for your kind words.
JEC |
Cygnus Crux
Friday 4th June 2004 20:47 | The Letters of Summer |
This chapter did cover a lot of ground.
Hmmm, Jasmine... |
Bart
Wednesday 2nd June 2004 13:46 | The Letters of Summer |
As with most of the reviewers, yours is one of the names I look forward to seeing on the update list, even though I have read the pre-beta stuff in your Yahoo group, apart from the always fantastic chapters themeselves. It's great to see them develop towards the end product.
This chapter is no differn't and the handling of Ginny's, Pyr'g was wonderfull and having Harry assist Ginny rather than Abelard was a nice touch and for me made Harry's later interaction with Ginny and his talk with Abelard all the better.
Bart |
amulder
Wednesday 2nd June 2004 13:32 | The Letters of Summer |
Hi John,
Re: Jasmine - I really *really* like her character. She's a strong enough character to carry a story all on her own. I find myself curious about just what a war witch is like, what is their training like, what do they do, etc. How many assignments has Jasmine had? I don't think this is her first.
I note her comment "guarding the man she thought of when she thought about what a father should be." I think this is an excellent example of adding depth and background to a character. It makes me wonder what happened to Jasmine's own father, what was her childhood like. It seems like she's more bound to Abelard than just by her career.
I do find myself a bit bemused by all the furor in various reviews over the relationship between Harry and Jasmine. Its never really worried me.
It's not spelled out, but I do think that there are enough clues in the story to conclude that she must be about 24 or 25 -- it states that she was about 8-10 (I forget which) when Lily was briefly apprenticing with Abelard. I would find that to be a significant age barrier, especially considering that Harry is barely 16. I'm not surprised that a 16 year old male is attracted to a 25 year old woman (I remember that age!), but I am a bit surprised to find the reverse.
I do grant, that Jasmine finds Harry to be "exceptional". But so far, there's been no mention of Jasmine even considering (or dismissing) the significant age gap between them.
Poor Harry, all these girls swooning over him. At least he's no longer oblivious. It really is fun seeing Jasmine tease the poor boy.
Now, John, I am curious about the location of Abelard's villa. Do you intend to reveal that? Originally, based primarily on Jasmine's family description, I assumed that this was somewhere near India. However, Harry is telling Ginny that they're in Africa. Where in Africa would
there be a University "10 miles down the road" which was on the Internet via Fiber Optic line? South Africa? Egypt? Morocco? Hang on - actually the choices are limited to eastern Africa, since you
have them in the same time zone as Britain (yes, I checked a timezone map). Liberia? I know, it doesn't really matter, I'm just curious.
Do you really think Molly gets up at 5am? I dunno. I guess the Burrow is part farm, chickens are certainly mentioned, so maybe you're right.
I just noticed, in the bit with Molly and Remus - she doses the tea, but he doesn't appear to drink it, as he decided between tea and coffee and "coffee won out this morning." Oversight?
What is a "tea-length dress" ?
I like this quote: "Jasmine was back in the room, slipping some brilliant white parchment onto the table next to Remus ? whether she walked in or Apparated, Harry couldn't recollect." - nice subtle indication that while Harry was paying attention to Ginny (whom he had just been talking too) he was not paying attention to his surroundings.
Can't wait to see what Jasmine is like when she starts training Ginny.
I wish you much inspiration as you write the birthday scene in the next chapter. I've seen lots of them done poorly - I think it is very hard to write them as something more interesting than a continual litany of different gifts.
I'm looking forward to the next *cautious* chapter...
...art
ps: John, I don't think you "write like a girl". But then, I don't like compartmentalizing people. I think you write like John Cornell.
|
| Wednesday 2nd June 2004 13:32 | The Letters of Summer (Author Response) |
Jasmine is 26.
Abelard's villa is in Uganda, 10 miles down the road from Uganda Christian University, where an old friend of mine is now Provost.
A tea length dress comes down just below the knee - Art, ask your wife these questions, not me!
Regards,
JEC |
Sleepy
Wednesday 2nd June 2004 08:25 | The Letters of Summer |
| Excellent chapter thanks very much! |
Arnel
Wednesday 2nd June 2004 01:44 | The Letters of Summer |
I have loved this story from the start and have read many of the chapters two and three times just because I love your writing style. I love how you've developed a more mature Harry and Ginny and I look forward to seeing where you take their relationship. I also love how the additional characters have helped him cope with the loss of Sirius and his confinement at the Dursleys'.
Like many other reviewers, I'm fascinated with the character of Jasmine. From the start, I thought she was much too old and mature for Harry and I'm glad he had the moral fiber to turn her down as a mistress in this chapter. I admire her teaching ability and how she is guiding Harry to harness his potential as not only an "assassin" but as his own person in and of himself. He certainly doesn't get the guidance he needs through the Dursleys...
I'm really glad there was a way to help Ginny...and especially Harry's part in finding Lupin's mistake; it always helps to look something over a second time. Finally, I could tell just how much Harry cares for Ginny by his simple act of taking her pain when it became too unbearable for her. What a "romantic" touch to the whole process!
I look forward to reading the next chapter of this awesome story. Please post again soon. |
| Wednesday 2nd June 2004 01:44 | The Letters of Summer (Author Response) |
I have loved this story from the start and have read many of the chapters two and three times just because I love your writing style. I love how you've developed a more mature Harry and Ginny and I look forward to seeing where you take their relationship. I also love how the additional characters have helped him cope with the loss of Sirius and his confinement at the Dursleys'.
Like many other reviewers, I'm fascinated with the character of Jasmine. From the start, I thought she was much too old and mature for Harry and I'm glad he had the moral fiber to turn her down as a mistress in this chapter. I admire her teaching ability and how she is guiding Harry to harness his potential as not only an "assassin" but as his own person in and of himself. He certainly doesn't get the guidance he needs through the Dursleys...
I'm really glad there was a way to help Ginny...and especially Harry's part in finding Lupin's mistake; it always helps to look something over a second time. Finally, I could tell just how much Harry cares for Ginny by his simple act of taking her pain when it became too unbearable for her. What a "romantic" touch to the whole process!
I look forward to reading the next chapter of this awesome story. Please post again soon.
I'm writing as fast as I can - but the next two chapters are going to be whoppers, so it will take a while. Unlike many writers, I'm not a single person in college who can while away my hours - I'm married, a dad, fully employed, etc. Finding time to write is a challenge. Jasmine is fun - Chapter 18 is the last we see of her for a while, as Chapters 18, 19 & 20 focus on life a the Burrow. You will see her again, though. |
Musings
Tuesday 1st June 2004 14:09 | The Letters of Summer |
| Wonderful, wonderful chapter, Kokopelli! I love the scene with Harry and Jasmine and agree with Hexidecimal that Harry's character development is terrific and dead on. Can't wait to read the next chapter! |
Hexadecimal
Tuesday 1st June 2004 10:37 | The Letters of Summer |
I had seen the pre-beta work a few times, but the chapter has grown significantly from that point. Basically, I think the writing of this story is still phenomenal and your name is one of the updates I look for.
Couple of things, and I did enjoy these points. Harry turns down Jasmine as a mistress (not that she necessarily offered) -- I don't know how many boys at Harry's age would have that sort of moral feeling, but it was a neat idea and plays well to character development. That said, I think that young male adults have to understand the difference in a physical attraction vs. an emotional one, and I'm not entirely sure that he burned himself out on Cho.
Tying Molly in with Abelard lends itself well to Molly being seen more than as just a missing mother figure -- I've always thought she and Arther, while they fulfill the role of loco parentis very well, are overlooked as wizards and witches. There must be another reason, other than just being good people, that Dumbledore would feel rational about their membership in the order. They must bring value and not have inordinate risk placed upon them when guarding something. If you're trying to defend against Death Eaters, you put a strong guard up at the door -- and Arthur was the one chosen for that door.
The dragon magic is, as always, well-written and very interesting. I also liked Remus's "rolling of the bones" to be certain of magic compatibility -- you tied that section in very well with the first sections of the story.
As always, a wonderful read. Please keep it up! |
Gaineewop
Tuesday 1st June 2004 06:57 | The Letters of Summer |
Another fantastic chapter! I eagerly await the next installment.
I liked alot about this chapter, but I must dash off, so I will only mention one.
Harry taking in Ginny's pain was fantastic. You've really shown how grown up Harry is becoming.
Well done! |
Katieay
Tuesday 1st June 2004 06:18 | The Letters of Summer |
Poor Abelard just keeps getting rejected by red heads for other men and babies Great chapter! I really really like your Ginny, and her interaction with Jasmine was interesting, to say the least!
Katie |
Jaquelyne
Tuesday 1st June 2004 05:14 | The Letters of Summer |
A completely fabulous chapter. I liked how you handled the installation of the py'rgs in Gin and the conversations between Ginny and Jasmine. They both needed to know where the other stood in the grand sceme of things. You wrote it well.
I look forward to Harry's birthday and his chat with the Weasley parents. I think that my favorite line in this chapter other than the conversation between Harry and Ginny before lunch is ...
"You look troubled, lad," he began.
"Confused and bewildered," Harry replied.
"Her mother evoked many of the same feelings in me, lad. Still does," Abelard said with a laugh.
Well done!!!
~J~ |
Delylah
Monday 31st May 2004 23:19 | The Letters of Summer |
Good to see the final version of the chapter. The conversation between Jasmine and Harry at the end was a nice addition. Although Jasmine still makes me go GRRR sometimes, I enjoyed seeing Harry call her on her teasing him. Looking forward to the next chapter! |
| Monday 31st May 2004 23:19 | The Letters of Summer (Author Response) |
That's funny, my male readers don't go GRRR at Jasmine. Why is that do you think?
JEC |
