Review, Part Two!

I really liked this story. (I'd've made it into two or more chapters, but that's just me.)

I'm BACK! Did you miss me? (Did you even launch that sunfish? *shudders*)

By the way, I liked that Ginny has a roommate named "Jill."  

Heh, so now Luna and Neville are in on the act. Them Death Eaters don't stand a chance! (Well, Harry doesn't stand a chance of keeping his friends out of danger!)

If I were one of Harry's friends, I'd knock him out and drag him back to Hogwarts. Obviously, "Survival Instinct" isn't a strong suit of any of them.

"this room was an anti-chamber to another" – Actually, that should be ante-chamber

Red caps… nice touch, they tend to haunt areas where there was violent death. (I wonder if any Death Eaters ran afoul of them. Even if they're scared of wizards, they may have tried ambushing a few.)

"Hello, I'm ready to see the Dark Lord!" -- :Goggle: I love it! What chutzpah!

Hee! Wrong Dark Lord. Good description of the fight that killed all those wizards. (Looks like that vault was booby trapped. I would have guessed that, myself, but it looks like this bunch wasn't very bright.)

I don't think that jumping in after Neville was very bright, either. ;/

Wow, that's one well-equipped broom! I'll take one!

Gunpowder?! Nicely set up, with the sulfur and stuff. Good work! (However, I don't think that a Bluebell flame would set it off.) Love the idea, of them using gunpowder to blast their way out.

Oops, a hundred points apiece? Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Sorry, Harry, this wasn't one of your better ideas.

Heh, trust Dumbledore to find a way to take the sting out of that! (The mansion will be opened so the public can enjoy all that death? Ick. Better to have it be an educational experience.)

And now they're all rich! Boy that would have been worth losing all those points over!

Good job!

Nag, nag, nag!

Ahem, is this thing on? Good. Let's begin…

I suggest you change your settings to accept anonymous reviews.

I really like the little ghosties at the top of the story. ;)

On to the actual story...

I like how you introduce the Problem du Jour. Newspaper articles are a good way to introduce a lot of information without getting preachy.  You also add enough "business" (like Hermione chewing on her hair) to keep the explanation from getting tedious.

Sigh. You've just hit one of my pet Peeves (no relation). " 'Mione" Rowling has never had Ron or Harry shorten her name. The only person who has was Grawp and Hermione didn't like it.

So I'm growing in a haunted mine, am I? Thanks… I think. ;)

Nice interaction between Luna and Hermione, and between Harry and Ginny.

Harry's pretty quick on the draw here. I thought the dates were rather obvious, nice that Harry thought so, too.

Heh, so Harry immediately starts plotting how to get himself into deep doo-doo… How, Harry-like!

Awww… Neville asking Luna to the ball was sweet! ** I got a chuckle out of Ron's not-so-romantic method, but, hey, it worked.

Oops, Harry's blown his cover! Now Ginny's plotting. Heh, the Plot Thickens! (Nice!)

Ginny's subtle hints work! Sweet!

Ummm… I'm confused, why did Hermione get mad enough at Ron that she had to blurt out the interesting possibility of Voldy-wart being at Hogsmeade?

Gee, Harry's getting all dolled up. How subtle… NOT! (Hee! Just like a teenager.)

My goodness, Hermione and Ginny are going even more overboard than Harry! (I bet if Molly saw Ginny's outfit, Ginevra would wind up in a Convent School for Chaste-Whether-They-Want-To-Be-Or-Not Witches.)

Wow! Harry's going to let his friends help him! (If I were there, I'd be checking his breath to see if it smelled like Polyjuice Potion.) ((G'head, Ginny, check his breath. I dare you. ;) ))

Wow! again. Ginny and Hermione sound like fashion models! (I like the jewelry!)

Darn, nothing's bad happened to Draco at the Ball. (That we've seen.)

Well, lunch is over, so this review is… To Be Continued!

Bwa-ha-ha! (It's your own fault for writing such a lovely long story!)

Nag, nag, nag!

 

Ahem, is this thing on? Good. Let's begin…

 

I suggest you change your settings to accept anonymous reviews.

 

I really like the little ghosties at the top of the story. ;)

 

On to the actual story...

 

I like how you introduce the Problem du Jour. Newspaper articles are a good way to introduce a lot of information without getting preachy.  You also add enough "business" (like Hermione chewing on her hair) to keep the explanation from getting tedious.

 

Sigh. You've just hit one of my pet Peeves (no relation). " 'Mione" Rowling has never had Ron or Harry shorten her name. The only person who has was Grawp and Hermione didn't like it.

 

So I'm growing in a haunted mine, am I? Thanks… I think. ;)

 

Nice interaction between Luna and Hermione, and between Harry and Ginny.

 

Harry's pretty quick on the draw here. I thought the dates were rather obvious, nice that Harry thought so, too.

 

Heh, so Harry immediately starts plotting how to get himself into deep doo-doo… How, Harry-like!

 

Awww… Neville asking Luna to the ball was sweet! ** I got a chuckle out of Ron's not-so-romantic method, but, hey, it worked.

 

Oops, Harry's blown his cover! Now Ginny's plotting. Heh, the Plot Thickens! (Nice!)

 

Ginny's subtle hints work! Sweet!

 

Ummm… I'm confused, why did Hermione get mad enough at Ron that she had to blurt out the interesting possibility of Voldy-wart being at Hogsmeade?

 

Gee, Harry's getting all dolled up. How subtle… NOT! (Hee! Just like a teenager.)

 

My goodness, Hermione and Ginny are going even more overboard than Harry! (I bet if Molly saw Ginny's outfit, Ginevra would wind up in a Convent School for Chaste-Whether-They-Want-To-Be-Or-Not Witches.)

 

Wow! Harry's going to let his friends help him! (If I were there, I'd be checking his breath to see if it smelled like Polyjuice Potion.) ((G'head, Ginny, check his breath. I dare you. ;) ))

 

Wow! again. Ginny and Hermione sound like fashion models! (I like the jewelry!)

 

Darn, nothing's bad happened to Draco at the Ball. (That we've seen.)

 

Well, lunch is over, so this review is… To Be Continued!

 

Bwa-ha-ha! (It's your own fault for writing such a lovely long story!)

Thanks for reveiwing Jels!

 your review is very important to us please hold for the next available Jedione story to review, until then I suggest you finish your review for this one

On a more serious note I do appreciate your reviewing this story, but not just your review everyone's how else can we grow as writers without constructive criticism to tell us how we may improve.  And encouragement to keep doing what we're doing.  Thank you all for your time in reading my stories and in taking the time to review them.  I appreciate it.

that story was also very good. you have a wonderful imagination. I enjoy reading about hp,gw and rw,hg and I like it when they arent moping and seem to not be afraid of voldie.

Your story started off really well but I felt you rushed it towards the end ... perhaps to post it in time for Halloween?  Promising start, story wise the ending was good too - just too rushed I felt.

Some of the dialogues near the end seemed rushed as well.  Overall, a good story - that could have been great :)

Looking forward to more stories from you.

I liked it the first time and I'm very happy to see it posted! (Thanks to Mr Intel)

Action and fluff-what more could one desire?