Kinsfire
Monday 25th July 2005 15:48 | There and Back Again Lane |
BTW - having read the responses to previous reviews, I feel almost as
if I'm disparaging your writing and characterisations. I am very
interested in this story, and ... well, it really comes down to this:
"Write what feels right."
It is actually quite believable that Hermione might truly believe that
she's doing things for the best. Tonks may not know that she's
coming across as a royal b*tch. (I'll admit that if she'd talked
to me the way she has been, I'd likely have simply taken off my badge
and said "Since I'm obviously so incompetent, you'll need this.
May I get my things before you Obliviate me?" Would likely have
made the point. But that's me personally *laugh*)
I still think that Fred needs to get the staff out of somewhere
tender. He doesn't realise that he's become Percy, to be
honest. "Look at what Harry did by coming into our lives."
That's a Percy-ism to me.
But I reiterate - write what feels right for your story. You've
hooked me for the long ride. (Where's the next chapter? *laugh*)
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| Monday 25th July 2005 16:13 | There and Back Again Lane (Author Response) |
Actually, I thought you were offering another perspective and a valuable one at that. I hadn't thought your comments were disparaging, but that they brought to the fore issues that needed to be addressed. Besides, it's good for an author to be able to perceive one's creation at a proper objective distance.
I imagined the characters constantly "taking the mickey" out of one another, playfully sniping at one another. Fred is likely drawn too harshly. I had intended most of his conversation with Remus to be mildly confessional, almost goading Remus to do as you suggest. You are absolutely correct to note that in his words, he is becoming exactly like Percy, but -- as I hope will be shown later -- Fred's actions contrast with his words. Tonks is trying to ground Ginny and behave a bit like a big sister as well as Ginny's superior. Yet as well as being afraid for Ginny, Tonks is also afraid of Ginny, which tends to colour her actions. |
Kinsfire
Monday 25th July 2005 15:40 | There and Back Again Lane |
Ah. Fred is a self-pitying, self-centered . "How DARE
he feel guilty? Only I have that right!" What he really
needs is for someone to stand in front of him (about six inches) and
get a punch in the face that only stops when the puncher's arm is
straight.
Actually, the better punishment is when Angelina leaves him until he
gets his head out of his posterior. He's holding a grudge, and is
likely INTENTIONALLY forgetting the type of person that Harry
was. And he'll blame him for this entire cock-up. I fully
expect him to suggest that they simply turn Harry over to the Ministry,
but I think he is still smart enough to realise that Remus would rip
his throat out - assuming that Angelina didn't do it first.
An intersting thing I noticed - in chapter eleven, the language
suddenly became a great deal more British in the slang than before or
after - it was almost as if the characters in question were different
people. Was this intentional (i.e. - a hint of something
planned), or something else?
Definitely looking forward to further chapters.
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| Monday 25th July 2005 17:10 | There and Back Again Lane (Author Response) |
| Fred certainly is a git, but I would argue his perspective is -- or precisely, was -- more, "He should feel guilty, the little twit." He's yet to properly address how he feels towards Harry, but Fred's attitude towards Harry in London and what he says at the end of his conversation with Remus were meant to indicate his growing recognition that Harry wasn't responsible for any of the Weasley's deaths, not even Molly's. Something that I had failed to properly explore within the story was how introspective this Fred had become after George had died, an idea which will hopefully prompt the plot bunny to propagate. |
agent009&3/4
Monday 25th July 2005 00:40 | There and Back Again Lane |
This must be my favorite Post Hogwarts read, and there are a fair bit
of good ones out there ( allot of garbage also but whos
counting). I really cant say enough just how much I'm enjoying
this work of yours, I just dig the cloak and dagger shite.
Another great Chapter (of course I read it or them a few weeks back on
SIYE but it merits another read since its so good). I guess
expected Harry to have some type of a reaction to brooms seeing as how
flying was always his thing. It doesnt detract or anything just a
thought.
I really like the switching POV's I know some people are annoyed at
times when authors post "so and sos POV" (Ive seen it in the pet peeves
thread) but I think it works, In a way it reminds me of the
Revenge of ths Sith Novel (see I'm a total geek ),
only that author used "This is so and so:" Id gues that there is enough
in each bit to figure out what persons POV were on but pointing it out
saves me the time of guessing, and wondering, and lets me concentrate
on the story at hand.
I really like these characters, I know allot of people are threatend by
a strong Ginny/weak Harry combo. Not that Harry is 'week' per se but in
his current state....Anyway I really enjoy it. I Love their interaction
with each other. I also like the fact that its not going to be a
big welocome back Harry party. You get the feeling that getting his
memory back is only half the issue the rest is dealimg with the world
he left behind and the actions that got him where he is. The survivors
have some issues to deal with still.
Also this woks really well w HBP out. Sure some things dont match
current cannon but only the most rabid of cannon thumpers will mind.
And while speeking of cannon I like the fact that youve not dug so deep
into it. There is so many fanfics out there that seem like the author
is saying "Ive read all the HP books avaialble and I can proove it''.
Im not sure that statement makes pennies but its something I notice.
Its 2:30 am and I'm probably rambling a bit (and doing a crappy typing
job I'm sure) but this really is a great story. Well written and fun to
read.Its almost inspiration for me to attempt my own Post Hogwarts fic.
I'm glad you posted here I probably would never have seen it on SIYE. I
only go there when I find something really good here and want to hunt
down more if possible. (That and the rating system there is weird every
story has 4.5 -5 stars how can you tell whats good ).
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| Monday 25th July 2005 13:58 | There and Back Again Lane (Author Response) |
| Thank you very much for your kind review, and I'm honoured that you review regularly. I hope you will enjoy the coming chapters as much as this one! |
