Bagelz
Wednesday 8th August 2007 17:35 | Cursed |
| Another great chapter ... I keep getting pulled in further and further. |
Patches
Saturday 31st March 2007 14:26 | Cursed |
| Marlow is a devious character. Who is he working for? Why does Bill have anything to do with it? What is the object? Are the aurors going to catch Marlow? Very impressive the protection aroun Weaseley Wizard Weeses! Thanks for writing. I look forward to more. p |
Chreechree
Tuesday 27th February 2007 02:33 | Cursed |
Now, while I know nothing of the plot, the one thing that cwarbeck told me about the story other than she loved it was just how sexy Harry is in this story. She practically drooled over the fact that he smokes, and she\'s an MD. Shameful. I, however, do not find that it makes him sexy, just smelly. I dated too many smokers to find it appealing. I will, however, look past it and search for the other elements of sexy that define Harry. A little theft. Ooh, he is a bad boy! And he likes a challenge! That could translate into sexy.
OK, so I tease. Writing that was more for my own enjoyment than a valid review. So, let me say that I am intrigued by Marlowe... whoever he might be (but since I know about the smoking, I don\'t think I have to work too hard to figure it out). Where has he been to learn such skills? What is he after? Who hired him? And does he even know that he\'s British? How long until a Weasley spots him and figures it out? I know. If I read, many of these questions will be answered. Watching the break in was fun. Muggle burglar alarm. He wasn\'t expecting it which is exactly why the twins put one in. Bless Arthur and his influence, or bless Fred and George and their cunning. Well done chapter. |
huskers
Thursday 22nd February 2007 13:41 | Cursed |
Let's see, the story continues along well. It was obvious to me, even on the first read that Marlow is Harry, but you still do well at hiding it and leaving people wondering. I like Bill's coment about not having the chest to be a Tomb Raider. Funny, even if I do question if he would know about Laura Croft. Who knows, he might, and it adds to the story.
The twins having a muggle alarm. A good idea. Question, why doesn't the alarm start sounding as soon as Harry's in the place? Why does it wait till after he spots it? I assume it went off right away to alert the twins and athorities, silently, but why would it be silent for a minute or so and then start making noise?
Good setup for Marlow (Harry), and the coming run from the aurors scene.
I also really like the name Marlow. Perfect for the character you create. |
eaglesnest
Saturday 17th February 2007 16:18 | Cursed |
| Marlow ..... the first image that popped into my head as you described him waiting for Bill was .... Robert Mitchum and his detective character. So, he's not a Brit but sounds like a hired assassin, even though we don't know that yet. And you start the mystery with something that Bill has, not with Harry. I ove mysteries and you have created an early tense mood with the break-in and then his challenge with the trackers, one an individual with a criminal mind. Good opening sequences. |
libbypotter
Wednesday 7th February 2007 05:37 | Cursed |
I just love the line '‘It’s “curse breaker” actually, George. I’ve not got the breasts for tomb raiding.'
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| Friday 16th February 2007 05:44 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Lol Libby,
Glad you liked that one
Myth xxx |
PhoenixFire
Thursday 4th January 2007 21:47 | Cursed |
The 'Six years later' caught me off guard. Six years? Wow. I wonder what became of Harry although something tells me that he's under my nose!
Plus, this 'Marlow' character, I wonder who he is? Not many fanfics here create their own main characters (although I'm not sure he's new) and I'm glad you did because it just makes your story more special! Whoot!
I like your idea that a Muggle alarm system set him off. He's too good to be caught by a magical alarm and the Muggle way is a great idea. (I wonder what he needs, anyways?)
PhoenixFire |
| Friday 16th February 2007 06:07 | Cursed (Author Response) |
HI Phoenixfire,
The "six years later" thing was meant to unsettle people. I wanted them to know that this was a new and different wizarding world. You may be right about Harry, although I won't say.
I couldn't resist having a Muggle alarm. Only the Weasleys would use one
Myth xxx |
Evenstar21
Monday 11th December 2006 21:45 | Cursed |
Very intriguing. I like Marlow already, he reminds me a bit of Indiana Jones and Dean Winchester from Supernatural. It's good to know the twins are prospering in post-war Diagon Alley. I'm almost sure that Marlow is Harry but you leave enough doubt to keep the suspense up. Favorite Line--‘It’s “curse breaker” actually, George. I’ve not got the breasts for tomb raiding.’
Ahh, the twins and Bill play Muggle video games! Hermione and Ginny could so take Lara Croft down though. |
| Friday 16th February 2007 06:09 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi Evenstar,
I think you're right aout Marlow. he's a bit of a tough, rebellious type I'm glad you liked that line. I just couldn't let it pass. You are, of course,, right about hermione and Ginny. Lara wouldn't stand a chance.
Myth xxx |
lacyrachil
Thursday 16th November 2006 12:13 | Cursed |
| Good writing. Can't wait to read the rest. |
| Friday 16th February 2007 06:02 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Thank you, Lacy
Myth xxx |
libbypotter
Wednesday 4th October 2006 05:42 | Cursed |
Hmm, first thoughts when I read this chapter was that Marlow didn't seem a particularly 'nice' guy. I also found it strange that he didn't use his wand much.
Interesting beginnings |
| Friday 16th February 2007 05:44 | Cursed (Author Response) |
HI libby,
Marlow definitely wasn't a nice guy, at least to start off with. he had lots of little mannerisms, and hopefully they'll cement as the story progresses.
Myth xxx |
ShirTikvah
Tuesday 19th September 2006 07:12 | Cursed |
| Is Marlow Harry? |
| Friday 16th February 2007 05:43 | Cursed (Author Response) |
ShirTikvah,
I'm afraid you'll have to wait and see
Myth xxx |
daniel_r_crazy22
Sunday 10th September 2006 21:57 | Cursed |
| Okayy. |
| Friday 16th February 2007 05:42 | Cursed (Author Response) |
|
iloveyoukarineh
Saturday 9th September 2006 13:37 | Cursed |
| marlow=harry? |
| Friday 16th February 2007 05:42 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hiya,
I'm afraid you'll have to wait and see
Myth xxx |
GryffindorDragon
Tuesday 25th July 2006 15:03 | Cursed |
they were known for having the best squad of Aurors in the world -- you wouldn't know that from the success of the deaters.
So who is Marlow, and is he a bad guy? He seems to be since he's trying to steal something from Bill for who knows who.
|
| Thursday 17th August 2006 09:26 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi GD,
Lol, I think a lot of things can change in a few years. the auror squad being one of them
Myth xxx |
iviolinist
Tuesday 13th June 2006 09:11 | Cursed |
Ah yes, Myth as always, I loved it! Your writing is so detailed, with so much imagery, that only a non-imaginative idiot would be able to avoid “seeing” everything. I especially loved the break-in descriptions. You’re not a thief by night, are you?
I liked and yet also disliked the constant use of “he.” It keeps the reader more removed from Marlow. I’m not sure exactly why. But it does. I would almost think of that as being told from the 4th person POV if you know what I mean. It’s 3rd person, but yet the main character (so far) is referred to more often by a pronoun rather than a proper noun that it almost knocks it down a narrative level. I’m sure that’s what you were going for, but that’s also my opinion on that.
I did enjoy going inside Marlow’s mind, though, and hope he’s not really Harry as I’m prone to suspect right now. (I think you’re more creative than that – but sometimes the obvious is made too obvious to distract the reader from the more subtle. And I am easily distracted.)
I’m glad to see the Weasleys make an appearance so early on and hope to see a lot of the canon characters. I have found that when OC stories have little or no contact with canon characters that I lose interest in them after a few chapters.
Excellent start!
|
| Friday 23rd June 2006 08:18 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi Ivi,
I thought I should reply to your reviews, since you're always so lovely I can't believe you've found out my crime-breaking secret I watch too much CSI I feel. It's rubbed off on this story a bit.
The "he" was deliberate, in order to maintain the ambiguity a bit, before things start getting more indepth.
You'll see, in fact I know you already know, about Marlow's identity. It's definitely a case of what you expect, you shouldn't expect because it's what should be expected... I know that makes no sense, but go with it
As for our canon characters, how could I ever leave them out. I love them too much.
Thanks for reviewing these early chapters!
Myth xxx |
DailyProphetReporting
Wednesday 24th May 2006 01:49 | Cursed |
So now I\'m thoroughly intrigued. I can\'t say I expected to see the phrase six years later starting this chapter. That puts an interesting twist on things, especially considering Harry was presumed dead last we knew. Hmm.
Kudos on the style here too. It\'s right out of any good crime or mystery novel. You make Marlowe believable because your writing from his perspective comes off as so professional and knowledgable. Now if I only knew what he\'s up to. ... That\'s for later I guess.
Anyway, excellent work so far!
-KC
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| Thursday 25th May 2006 07:07 | Cursed (Author Response) |
KC,
intriguing is this story's advertisement really. It's a touch of noir, and the six years leap was enough to distance it from canon and give hte characters hte maturity I felt they required.
Marlow is a major player, and things will become more clear. My advice about Marlow's character is: go with the initial instinct. It's normally the right one
Thank you,
Myth xx |
Antonia East
Tuesday 21st February 2006 06:59 | Cursed |
I just squeed at the introduction of Marlow. You are not helping my cigarette cravings. I know it isn't cool or sexy, but in that passage it so completely is. You've done a great job of getting in an air of menace and Marlow's uninterest in the workings of normal people.
I want to know which of the twins is the stocky one.
This line: ‘It’s “curse breaker” actually, George. I’ve not got the breasts for tomb raiding.’ cracked me up completely.
I love the detail in your description - the leaves underfoot, the precision of cracking open the security spell. Because of the knowledge you impart the reader has real confidence in Marlow's knowledge and expertise - it backs up the image of him you've already given us.
I adore that Fred and George had a Muggle alarm system. I wave to the motion sensor in the corner of my room before I go to bed.
I like Marlow's reaction to the 'individual with a criminal mind'. I can imagine his smile - slightly wolfish, grim, a bit bitter maybe. I suppose for him that this is living. |
| Friday 24th February 2006 07:17 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Antonia,
I still squee whenever I think of Marlow. He's got a bad hold on me you know. Sorry about the cigarette cravings. I don't agree with smoking, and quit myself a while ago. However this character was missing something fundamental if he didn't have a cigarette in his hands.
I always see Fred as the stock one, for some reason. I thought that perhaps since marlow was so observant he'll see something different when most people just see "twins."
Thank you so much for your review. It really is thanks to you that marlow ever saw the light of day. he's sitting on the sidelines watching in interest as I write Chapter six.
Myth xx |
aschowin
Saturday 11th February 2006 17:26 | Cursed |
| Wow, loads of intrigue in this chapter. I really wonder how this will relate to Harry, but I guess I'll have to keep reading to find out. Funny how mysteries work like that. Great job. |
| Tuesday 14th February 2006 03:18 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Aschowin,
Thank you. Intrigue is the way this story is meant to go. I hope I remember to tie in all the threads!
Thank you for your praise,
Myth xx |
SillyGillie
Saturday 11th February 2006 14:01 | Cursed |
Really nice job once again. I love it. It's so unique and interesting. Do we really have to wait until Feb 18th to read the next chapter? What about a Valentine's Day Present? Please!
This chapter was so exciting. I thought at first that this character Marlow might be Harry, like maybe he lost his memory or something when that person with the silver badge rescued him, now I'm not so sure. You're descriptive language throughout this chapter (and story) is amazing. You're certainly a very gifted author. This is amazing. I've read novels that seem terrible compared to your work.
Marlow seems to be a really intriguing character, I can't wait to read more about him. The tone you've set for this story is outstanding. I love the mysteriousness of it all.
You've made Marlow smoking a cigarette seem impossibly interesting and brilliant. I love the last line, "He liked a challenge." I can't wait to see what he does. The comment about the England aurors is brilliant too. I can't wait to find out more about Marlow.
Good ole' influence of Mr. Weasley. Muggle security systems better than wizards, interesting, as is the fact that Marlow recognized Muggle equipment, and that he seems kind of disdainful of using spells.
I can't wait for the next chapter, please consider updating sooner! This is a brilliant story! |
| Tuesday 14th February 2006 03:18 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi Sillie Gillie,
I wish I could give you a valentine's chapter, but I'm a bit late! Happy Valentine's day anyway, and there'll be a chapter up on Friday.
I'm not going to say anything about Marlow. All I'll say is that the story is written in such a way to make you doubt and second guess yourself. It will gradually become more concrete until your qestions are answered.
Thank you for your praise about my descriptions. I have worked hard on them, and they are probably my greatest strength. If I could just get everything else up to the same level... but practice makes perfect after all!
Marlow is a character who has been hanging around in my mind for a long time, and in the end he forced his way out onto paper. You'll find out more from him as chapters two, three and four are all from his POV, before we switch to the lovely Miss Granger.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts on Chapter 2!
Myth xx |
Shoia24
Friday 10th February 2006 20:47 | Cursed |
Hm, very mysterious chapter. It brings forth a lot of unanswered questions, like where is Harry? and who is Marlow?
I read the story you posted on FF.net; it\'s the same thing as this one, but without the prologue. Is there any specific reason for that? At first I thought you were writing to seperate stories at the same time.
Well, keep up with the good work. Next Friday can\'t come fast enough!
~Shoia |
| Saturday 11th February 2006 03:51 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Shoia,
I posted chapter one on FF.net to get a general idea of reception for the story. I'll be posting all of it there later, once I've finished it I imagine
Your questions will, eventaully be answered. I promise you that. You might have to wait a while though!
Myth xx |
Melindaleo
Friday 10th February 2006 16:14 | Cursed |
What have you done to my Harry," she demands indignantly. Can you picture my hands on my hips, because they are.
Okay, Marlow is Harry, although he apprantly has amnesia cuz he didn't recognzie Bill and the twins. And he smokes? YUCK!
We'll have to take care of that before he reunites with Ginny. Can't have her snogging that horrid breath. What happened to him though? Who does he work for? Why is he so miserable and alone? Does this have anything to do with him thinking he died alone?
Need more - feed me! |
| Saturday 11th February 2006 03:50 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Melinda,
ROFL! I take it you've remembered an email conversation we had what seems like months ago! I'm not going to confirm or deny your conclusions. I'm afraid that you'll have to wait and see who marlow is and what his past holds.
You will be fed on February 18th, unless you email me and beg for more
Myth xx |
Stephanie
Friday 10th February 2006 14:22 | Cursed |
| Ooh, more mystery! Do we know this Marlow person? I\'m very curious as to what this story is about, anyway. I have no idea where this is going, but I want to read it all the same. You really are a good writer: whatever you describe feels so real. Your words suck me into the scene you\'re describing and everything plays out in my head like it\'s a movie. So, I can\'t wait for February 18th ! |
| Saturday 11th February 2006 03:48 | Cursed (Author Response) |
You might know this marlow individual, maybe, but I'm not going to tell you The story is actually quite vague to start off with, and then it all starts to become more clear. I'm so glad you're nejoying it, and I hope that it keeps you interested and entertained. Even if it's a bit unusual!
Myth xx |
Firstweaver
Friday 10th February 2006 11:36 | Cursed |
This is a really good story... you're keeping me on tenterhooks.
P.S. Have you ever read the Wheel of Time series? I've never read the word theif-taker in any other context. And "myth and legend"..... maybe I'm off in left field, but please let me know. |
| Friday 10th February 2006 12:32 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi FirstWeaver,
Thank you I do like to keep people guessing. I hope you continue to enjoy it. I haven't read the "Wheel of time" series. but "thief-taker" is a bit of an archaic english phrase. It's not used much anymore, but sometimes it helps to add to hte atmosphere of the story.
Thank you for reviewing!
Myth xx |
Evelyn
Friday 10th February 2006 10:56 | Cursed |
I see... This will be a mystery story. Very interesting.
My first, wild guess was that this unknown character, Marlow, was Harry. Well, I was wrong, obviously. So he is from abroad... Hmm.
And I suppose there is someone else to think about... Who is that individual with a criminal mind? Maybe Harry, this time?
Nice to see that the twins are still full of surprise. Good idea about the muggle alarm...
I'm looking forward to the next chapter! |
| Friday 10th February 2006 12:30 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi Evelyn,
Yes this will be a mystery, as well as an action/adventure. I'm not going to comment at all on your guess. This story has been carefully written, but I'm hoping that it works! That's all I'll say!
I'm glad you enjoyed the cameos. The story will be from marlow's POV most of the time, but Hermione, Ron and probably Ginny will get chapters of their own.
The next chapter will be up next friday, and thank you for reviewing!
Myth xx |
