Bagelz
Thursday 9th August 2007 09:27 | Cursed |
| Exciting chapter, well done. |
eaglesnest
Monday 5th March 2007 11:48 | Cursed |
| A very suspenseful chapter. What intrigued me most though was the character development of Marlow. He is awfully suspicious as the healed Harry, but would pre-Voldemort!Harry be doing dubious business with Borgin & Burkes? And it is still not clear if he is a detective or a criminal for hire. Great drama and mystery in your opening chapters. |
huskers
Tuesday 27th February 2007 07:42 | Cursed |
Well, this is just a great chapter and scene. Marlow's escape is done really well. It is both easy and a very close call, and it sets up really well with Ron nearly catching him.
I don't understand exactly what you mean by the spells of the flash/bang sphere having to contradict each other can you explaine it for me?
Borgin's betrayal of Marlow's hiding spot is really well done; especially when he confirms it to Ron by telling him a small trinket had recently gone missing. A very nice touch.
I feel you do a really nice job of setting the scene. I have a true sense of overwhelming darkness and hairs on the back of my neck standing up at the places Marlow is visiting. Things are creepy and you know, just on the verge of changing to dangerous. And, I feel like I am really there on the roof tops with Marlow as he makes his way across them. And, it was a nice touch to have him attacked by the ivy. Avoid the aurors, only to fall to a house plant.
I'd be curious to know what Marlow dreams of when he sleeps. Is Harry trying to wake then? Maybe that's why he grips his wand so tightly.
Great job once more. |
Chreechree
Tuesday 27th February 2007 02:47 | Cursed |
| Wonderful suspense as Marlow slinked along. And he knows Borgin. What slime. Good to see Ron's well. A homemade flashbang! Brilliant. The nasty plant was just insult to injury after what he'd gone through. Yes, he was lucky he wasn't arrested. Exciting chapter. |
libbypotter
Wednesday 7th February 2007 05:40 | Cursed |
'Marlow never cast the first spell in a duel; it was a matter of principle'
Strange priciple for a thief |
| Friday 16th February 2007 06:19 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi Libby,
Another one of Marlow's foibles. He's not a "curse now, ask questions later" kind of guy
Myth xxx |
PhoenixFire
Thursday 4th January 2007 21:54 | Cursed |
Ooh, the chase continues!
A sensible wizard would have attacked while he had the advantage, but Marlow never cast the first spell in a duel; it was a matter of principle.
Yah, I know you've probably had bunches of reviews about that line but still, principles? I'm not so sure what to make of him now. Is he the good guy or the bad guy??
(Vicious plant, by the way.)
PhoenixFire |
| Friday 16th February 2007 06:20 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi Phoenixfire,
you see, you're meant to be in doubt about whether he's good or bad Hope you keep enjoying it
Myth xx |
Evenstar21
Tuesday 12th December 2006 18:47 | Cursed |
He froze as Marlow moved and, in a second, a wand was resting against his jugular.
Marlow certainly is badass isn't he? I like his style. The end is also well-done, hinting at a dark past. Remember a hero who dresses all in black is twice as dangerous as the regular kind of hero. Well done, I look forward to reviewing the rest of the chapters. I only wish they were twice as long. |
| Friday 16th February 2007 06:30 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi Evenstar,
Lol, he is a badass indeed. This story sprung entirely from Marlow. The character came first. I did not realise tht there was a novel attached to him, but now I suppose I know better
I hope that the other chapters are good, even if they aren't twice as long
Myth xxx
|
lacyrachil
Thursday 16th November 2006 12:29 | Cursed |
| A mystery...very nice. I think this guy might be Harry (kind of like the DiMeras on Days of Our Lives) |
| Friday 16th February 2007 06:33 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi lacy,
You could be right, but I'm not telling. At least not yet.
Myth xxx |
libbypotter
Wednesday 11th October 2006 05:26 | Cursed |
'A sensible wizard would have attacked while he had the advantage, but Marlow never cast the first spell in a duel; it was a matter of principle.'
Rather strange for a thief to be so principled?
"This Auror had to be something to cow the hardened wizard into snitching like that, but he barely looked old enough to be out of school!"
So Marlow thinks of himself as a lot older than the auror? |
| Friday 16th February 2007 06:46 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi Libby,
Interesting questions. Hopefully the future cahpterts will answer them for you
Myth xxx
|
daniel_r_crazy22
Sunday 10th September 2006 22:07 | Cursed |
| Hmm. Okay. |
| Friday 16th February 2007 06:22 | Cursed (Author Response) |
|
GryffindorDragon
Tuesday 25th July 2006 15:26 | Cursed |
He moved awfully quickly from Gringotts to Knockturn Alley. I think Borgin and Burkes and the tunnel to Diagon Alley just a tad convenient. Oh well, gotta provide an escape route somehow (why not scale the wall )
Nice action. Marlow is proving quite resourceful. |
| Thursday 17th August 2006 09:28 | Cursed (Author Response) |
HI GD,
England's towns, such as York and London are often filled with alleyways between shops. Since Knockturn is so close to Diagon Alley, it made sense to me that there would be a route between without necessary wall-scaling
Myth xx |
Ladybug
Sunday 9th July 2006 03:28 | Cursed |
Myth, I am finally getting around to your story - it has been popping up there on the 'Latest Stories' list tempting me for about six months, it seems like. I hate starting new WIPs because I always forget what happens and have to re-read every time until I'm at least seven chapters in. (I think I must have about 243 WIPs rattling around in my brain, which has become very addled!) Every time there's an update I agonise, 'Will I? Won't I? Will I? Won't I?' Finally, because this story obviously has a huge following and must be something special, and because I'm actually in the mood to get myself completely lost in a different world for the next few hours, I thought it was time and said to myself, 'I will!'
(Phew, and I haven't even reviewed your story yet. Well, here goes ... )
I just love your expression - your detail and description is a joy to read. I can picture everything perfectly and I love so far how, looking through Marlow's eyes, we get to see what the Weasleys are up to/like now. I was a little confused last chapter where Marlow saw the twins in their shop as 'youths' but the time is 'six years later' - so that would make them around 25-26ish? Have I got the timing right? So Harry and co would be around 24ish? It's a small thing, I know, but it just helps me get a good grip on picturing everyone. But wow, this tale is very intriguing. I have a far-fetched theory (because with these stories your brain tends to think as far outside the square as it's possible to get), but I'm afraid of putting into print in case (a) I'm wrong, (b) I fluke it right and spoil it for others, or (c) am so far off the planet you'll laugh at me.
Back in the Prologue - that was an awesome description of the end of Whatsisface! The scene of London and the flash - wow! I've just finished reading The Forest, so I was very said for the fate of the New Forest, but moreso of course for all our favourite wizards and witches. A very touching scene with Ron and Hermione. And now this fascinating tale is underway, time for me to turn the page to chapter 3. |
iviolinist
Tuesday 13th June 2006 09:13 | Cursed |
Wow, Myth, I loved this chapter. I liked the action scenes at the beginning – especially Ron, as I’m sure you could tell. I hope this story is going to include a lot of canon characters in it as well.
Anyway…
The orb spell was really cool and you gave wonderful descriptions of it. I had no problem picturing what was going on. I liked learning what Ron and the other Aurors were “thinking” due to Marlow overhearing them. I only got confused towards the end when Marlow was suddenly back at his apartment. He seemed to move awfully quickly and I had a hard time keeping up with where he was. Is his flat in Diagon Alley near the Leaky Cauldron? I thought he was creeping around there when he got attacked by the “vicious houseplant”, but then he was suddenly climbing into his window. Minor details, but they confused me nonetheless.
Overall, I thought this chapter was very well written. I’ll be waiting for more…
|
| Friday 23rd June 2006 08:20 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi Ivi,
Canon characters do play a major role in this story. They're essential to it. I'll have to tidy up that scene from Borgin's to the Leaky Cauldron. Marlow was climbing the wall of the Leaky Cauldron back into his room in the pub.
It's so easy to get carried away with action scenes
Myth xxx |
DailyProphetReporting
Thursday 25th May 2006 02:57 | Cursed |
Now I'm wondering even more. "Marlow" acts just like a special forces soldier, knowing how to accomplish his mission whether that means fighting, spying or fleeing. That means he's highly trained and he's obviously picked up tactics the Aurors are completely unprepared for. That's got me pondering the inclusion of the Prime Minister in the prologue. Is this some kind of Muggle/magical crossover effort on his part to avoid the impotency we saw in canon?
Plus there's the whole matter of Harry's being sent off to someone for treatment and Marlow's 'mask.' I'm guessing they're not coincidences, but I guess I'll find out.
Anyway, good job so far. These first two chapters remind me a lot of Clancy's work -- extremely knowledgable, detailed and action-packed. Nicely done.
-KC |
| Thursday 25th May 2006 07:10 | Cursed (Author Response) |
KC,
Oh yes, marlow's highly trained indeed. I put a lot of work into developing him and his back story. Sometimes its refreshing to get a new take on things.
You may be right about Harry and marlow, but my lips are sealed.
Alas I've not read Clancy's works yet... at least I don't think so. I know my Dad's a fan. Perhaps I'll have to check them out. I've also been told I write like Neil Gaiman, which is interesting since I've only read one of his works, and it was co-authored with Terry Pratchett
Influences on style can come from the most obscure places
Thank you
Myth xx
|
Jake
Tuesday 21st February 2006 16:42 | Cursed |
Great start, the story is interesting, I can't wait to see what happens next. Keep up the great work!
-Jake |
| Friday 24th February 2006 07:22 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Thank you Jake,
I hope you contio enjoy it, and that I can keep the pace going!
Myth xx |
aschowin
Tuesday 21st February 2006 07:20 | Cursed |
| Great Chapter. Ron's really turned out to be something great. I am looking forward to your next chapter. |
| Friday 24th February 2006 07:22 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Aschowin,
Thank you. I felt that Ron deserved a bit of drive and passion. He'll be getting his own chapters later on in the story. Hoe you like Chapter 3.
Myth xx
|
Antonia East
Tuesday 21st February 2006 07:10 | Cursed |
Marlow never cast the first spell in a duel; it was a matter of principle.
Ooh, he has principles! *Fangirls*
I love the way Ron is presented as well - so often he's bumbling in fanfics. I like an efficient Ron, and you do him well. I can see him being a very driven Auror, especially considering the loss of Harry.
The flashbang orbs are a great idea - and again you se the detail of the spells agitating each other to produce the reaction. It's a scientific way of describing magic which you use which makes it sit well with the feeling of the story. Most describe magic as emotion-based, which wouldn't feel as real here.
He gripped his wand so tightly that his knuckles were white and his short fingernails dug into his palms, as though he were prepared, even in sleep, to fight his enemies
I'd like to cuddle him, but fear I would be hexed to smitherines. I look forward to hearing more from you and Marlow. |
| Friday 24th February 2006 07:21 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hey again,
Ahh principles. I had to give him some kind of moral foundation, even if it was only a small concession to being a good boy
I have to say that bumbling!Ron doesn't fit with my image of him. He is, under his rather shallow exterior, quite a deep and intelligent character. I wanted to juxtapose the two reactions between him and Hermione. One throws themselves into danger, and the other runs from it.
I decided to use a sceitnific base for the flashbangs because, as it will become clear, marlow has difficulty with emotions. He seems to think they make him weak (nd beleive me he's snorting at me right now) but a certain red-haired young lady might just help him out with that.
marlow does need a good cuddle but to be frank he's a bit prickly. I've found what he appreciates is a glass of Fenlings and a quiet smoke. Failing that an adventure will cheer him up no end.
I hope you enjoy chapter 3, up later today!
Mythxx |
SillyGillie
Saturday 18th February 2006 12:42 | Cursed |
\"Every day a façade hid the truth and every night his tortured soul lay bound in sleep, haunted by the memories of the daylight hours. Eventually he forgot which face belonged to him, and which face was just another mask.\"
Ohh. How interesting. I wonder what that means! I can\'t wait to find out just who this Marlow character is. This story is brilliant. I can\'t wait for another chapter. I loved your action sequences, very nicely done. Awesome job! |
| Sunday 19th February 2006 04:20 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi Sille Gillie,
You'll learn more and more about Marlow as the story progresses, and little things will start to make sense. Thank you for your praise of my action scenes. I'm always terrified of going over the top with them, and it's good t hear that I've got them right!
I look forward to your next review!
Myth xx |
C_lala
Saturday 18th February 2006 06:35 | Cursed |
Wow... that's all I can really think of saying.. wow..
I've just read this, and you definitly have me hooked! Your writing is fantastic, and I really want to say that Marlow is Harry, but the truth is I'm just not sure... I have so many questions, but I feel like it would be a waste of time to even ask, because, you won't answer them, and the only thing I can do is wait for the next chapters... and that sucks!! I want to know the ending now!! okay, kidding But my point is: I love this, and I await the next chapter with patience
You rock! |
| Sunday 19th February 2006 04:19 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Thank you
I'm glad you're enjoying it so much. I believe in regular (as in weekly) updates, so you should get a dose of this fic once a week.
You're right in that I won't answer any questions, but they will be asnwered one by one in the story itself. I promise!
Thank you again, and keep reading!
Myth xx |
Stephanie
Friday 17th February 2006 13:23 | Cursed |
This must be my lucky day, because you posted this chapter one day early ! I don't have much useful too say, though. I could continue praising your writing style, but I guess that that's a bit boring for you .
None of my questions are answered in this chapter. I'm inclined to think that Marlow is Harry, but as he doesn't recognize any of the Weasleys, I find it hard to believe. So I'll opt for Tonks instead.
Just kidding. But I love a mystery with unexpected twists, so if Marlow would turn out to be Remus or Neville, it would only make it more interesting. Because in that case, where does Harry fit into this story?
Okay, I'm rambling. Don't mind me. What I tried to confer is that I like this story and that I'd love to read the next chapters. I hope that the message I intended came across . |
| Saturday 18th February 2006 04:45 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi Stephanie,
Aww thank you for reviewing, and I never get bored of feedback. It's all wonderful.
The first four or five chapters will be a constant state of questions, and then you might start getting some answers. Maybe
I'm overjoyed that you like this story, and hte next chapter should be up on Friday the 24th of February.
Myth xxx
|
MrRobertsIII
Friday 17th February 2006 10:54 | Cursed |
| Interesting fic. I liked that the joke shop had a muggle alarm. Marlow reminds me of the hard bitten private eye type. Hope you update soon. |
| Friday 17th February 2006 11:04 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi mr Roberts,
Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it. Marlow is a bit of a private eye type, at least that's how I see him in my head. A shadowy, dark character with a lot of cynicism.
The next update will be next friday!
Myth xx |
Melindaleo
Friday 17th February 2006 10:23 | Cursed |
Aww, your ending made me sniffle! Thanks for the post a day early, however. Yay, me!
LOVED the image of the crystals exploding in his pocket, lol. That gave me quite a chuckle. The house plant being the one to finally get him made me laugh as well.
Okay, reading this was hard for me. I know it's Harry because I kept wanting him to get away and holding my breath when he had a close call, but at the same time, I wanted Ron and the others to nab him so we'd get some conversation.
Oi! You're killing me, but in a good way. Love this story so far. |
| Friday 17th February 2006 11:03 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Glad you liked it hun. Sorry I haven't been online lately. Real life has seriously been getting in my way!
That chapter was quite humorous for me. It helped to juxtapose the dark a bit. That might fade quite soon though.
As for conversation next Friday there should be some more information handed your way.
I'm still quite pleased with the fact that 7000 words in Marlow's only said a total of about twenty words of dialogue
Thanks for the review,
Myth xxx |
