Bagelz
Thursday 9th August 2007 10:37 | Cursed |
| Nice catch at the end here ... |
eaglesnest
Monday 5th March 2007 12:17 | Cursed |
| On the theory that Marlow is Harry, plus my own that during his recovery not all his memory was returned, then that partially explains his smoking. His clever use of disguise which doesn't reveal his use of magic allows him to avoid detection during the past several years while he was a mercenary for hire. And I presume that the bloke sticking a wand into Mrlow is one of the hirers!? |
huskers
Tuesday 27th February 2007 09:11 | Cursed |
| This is a great chapter. I like the first paragraph where you set the scene in the bar. I do wonder if The Leaky Cauldron is quite as much the place for the seedier side of life in JKR's mind as it is in yours. She does have famillys staying there after all, and children as young as 10 and 11 in there regularly. It seems more a familly pub then a bar in her writing. That said, I still like the scene you set. It is also a lot of fun listening in as Marlow listens in. He doesn't do anything the whole of the chapter, yet we learn plenty about him or at least we think we do. Rumors are not always the whole truth. And at the end, we get a character who recognizes him despite him being 'unrecognizable'. The touch with Marlow's drink, and why he drinks it is really a good detail. A really great chapter. This is just a great stroy and gets better with each chapter. |
Chreechree
Tuesday 27th February 2007 02:59 | Cursed |
| Can't wait to find out how much of his legend is accurate, how much is rumor, and how much is someone else's doing. Thief for hire is one thing, but I hate to think of him killing. Very well done. |
libbypotter
Wednesday 7th February 2007 05:43 | Cursed |
| The only thing I don't like about your story is that Marlow smokes. I hate smoking with a vengence, other than that perfect! |
PhoenixFire
Thursday 4th January 2007 22:05 | Cursed |
Hmm. I don't approve of the smoking (in real life, not your story!) but it kind of does go with him. The 'mercenary' conversation, is it all true?
Looks like Marlow is in trouble... or is he? Seems like it, though. Did he get captured by an Auror already? Well, the only way I'll get answers to my question is to read on. Yay for the story!
PhoenixFire |
Evenstar21
Wednesday 13th December 2006 22:20 | Cursed |
A good chapter, the plot thickens. Marlow has a bit of a reputation it seems. Now the afternoon was tailing away and Marlow nursed a second packet of cigarettes. Every hour or so he drank a glass of Fenlings Brew. Where did he pick up the habit of smoking and that particular brand of alcohol? Finally, why does Marlow have such an aversion to using magic? Is it simply a point of pride or is it done to avoid detection? |
lacyrachil
Thursday 16th November 2006 12:42 | Cursed |
| Cliff hanger...bring on the other chapters |
| Friday 16th February 2007 06:58 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Lol, glad you're liking it Lacy
Myth xxx |
daniel_r_crazy22
Monday 11th September 2006 17:01 | Cursed |
| What the?! Very good chapter. |
| Friday 16th February 2007 06:51 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Thank you Dan
Myth xxx |
GryffindorDragon
Tuesday 1st August 2006 15:04 | Cursed |
Interesting piece. So someone is engineering the theft of dark objects - looks like even though Voldie's gone the deaters are trying a comeback
|
| Thursday 17th August 2006 09:29 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Heya Gryffindor Dragon,
Looks like you could eb right
Myth xxx |
iviolinist
Tuesday 13th June 2006 09:19 | Cursed |
Myth, this is excellent! I loved the descriptions about more of Marlow’s “methods” as well as what I’m assuming to be a partial truth to his history. Now I’m even more intrigued by him. Is he Harry? Now that I’ve read the prologue you held out on me, I’m quite anxious to know what happened to him. You do such a great job setting the scene, making me feel like I’m really there watching it happen.
They just keep getting better and better! |
| Friday 23rd June 2006 08:23 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi Ivi,
Thank you. I wanted to get good backstory going on this story, and attention to detail helps flesh out Marlow as a character.
I'm glad my descriptions are doing their job. It's my main strength I think. If only my writing was as good all around I could be published Well, that's what this is for. Practice.
Myth xxx |
DailyProphetReporting
Friday 26th May 2006 02:23 | Cursed |
Myth,
I continue to like the perspective here. Telling the story through Marlow's observations as much his actions is a nice trick to advance the plot while still maintaining the aura of mystery around our, um, "hero."
You also seem to subscribe to one of my favorite theories of post-OttP fanfiction -- that Mundungus is perhaps the most useful of all the canon characters for conveying information. You've got to love a character who's positioned to pick up details on all aspects of the wizarding world and who will share any of it if it benefits him in the slightest.
Now, I wasn't completely sold on your Mundungus because he just came off as a little too smart and civilized in his dialogue (which, to be fair, is a problem I've been criticized for too), but I liked how you kept dropping in hints about him trying to nick stuff. And, as I said, he's the perfect person to convey the nastier side of Marlow.
And he's certainly got a reputation for a character who prides himself on stealth. It'll be interesting to see what comes from an encounter with somebody who actually knows him. ...
Anyway, I remain as intrigued as every,
-KC |
| Friday 26th May 2006 05:25 | Cursed (Author Response) |
KC,
"hero" is definitely an interesting word to describe Marlow. He's a touch too villainous at times to be truly heroic, but I'm hoping that as he develops the diverstiy of his nature will become apparent.
Mundungus is definitely the kind of person with his ear to the ground, and he's one of the links to a criminal underworld in wizardry that I find immensely fascinating.
I'm not very good at doing rough and uncivilised. I think my very PC british accent comes through in my writing, particularly on characters I'm unfamiliar with. Practice makes perfect, but 'Dung's role in this story is relatively small.
I hope the intrigue remains. You've got one more chapter from Marlow's point of view before Hermione steps in and begins to carry the narrative.
I hope you keep enjoying it. It is so wonderful to have you reviewing again
Myth xx |
Jake
Sunday 26th February 2006 19:05 | Cursed |
Great chapter! I wonder who the mystery person is and what happened to Harry? I'm sure I'm wrong, but I bet that this guy is Harry becase that would be a whacky twist! Keep up the great work and update soon!
-Jake |
| Thursday 2nd March 2006 09:59 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Thank you Jake, and you'll find out about Harry eventually. Just stick with it
Myth xx |
SillyGillie
Sunday 26th February 2006 17:40 | Cursed |
Oh no! We have to wait until next Friday to find out who that is?! Your torturing me! I love this story. It's so interesting and detailed, I love the details, the description of the Leaky Cauldron. So well done.
I also liked seeing Tonks and Fletcher from Marlow's point of view. This is so mind boggling. I really don't believe that Marlow is just some guy named Marlow, he has to be Harry or something. Or maybe this person whose knocked Marlow's feet from the chair is Harry, or Ron? I can't wait to read the next chapter.
Poor Marlow, it seems such a waste to his "reputation" that he was caught off gaurd like that. Silly man, but I guess that's what the strong alcohol can do to a guy. Especially sense he spent all day there. I really love how awesome England's aurors are though. That's the coolest. They rock. Go Ron and Tonks.
I can't wait for the next chapter. This waiting is absolutely horrible. I can't wait until Friday! |
| Thursday 2nd March 2006 09:58 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi Sillie Gillie,
I'm so sorry for torturing you, but it's not much longer now. The story should be up tomorrow.
I'm really glad you like my descriptions. they're one of my main strengths, so I tend to put my all into them.
I'm still not going to tell you who Marlow is, but you will find out eventually. I promise. At the moment I'm estimating it'll be around Chapter 12 to 15 that you find out what's going on. Although this story is spinning out further than I originally anticipated.
I think you'll find that Marlow's reputation is a smidge exaggerated. Besides, no one's perfect
I hope you enjoy chapter 4, when you'll find out a bit more about everything!
Myth xx |
C_lala
Saturday 25th February 2006 14:02 | Cursed |
Aw, come on!!! Talk about "to be continued..."
Great chapter. I love how you describe what's going on in the bar, and how you get these little details weaved into the story, which makes it seem like you're sitting rigt next to Marlow, and observing the scenery with him (and I guess it's smart to leave cliffhanger to make sure your readers keep reading... ). You're a great writer. I can't wait 'till the 3rd....
Hmm... I wonder who's caught him..... If Marlow isn't Harry, then maybe it's Harry who's caught Marlow.... Far fetched? well it's all just speculations... anyway, I await your update patiently... |
| Saturday 25th February 2006 15:25 | Cursed (Author Response) |
C Lala,
Speculation is a wonderful thing It's what I'm aiming for. I'm not going to tell you if you're wrong or right, but you will find out.
Cliff-hangers are my speciality, but I'm trying to use them sparingly in this story. No guarantees though.
Thank you for saying I'm a great writer. I was just bemoaning the fact that I can write, but not draw. I think I'm happy with writing though... it's a great way to explore the many possibilities of a character!
Thank you for waiting patiently. If I get far enough ahead I might move up to two chapters a week, but that won't be for a while yet.
Myth xx
|
Melindaleo
Friday 24th February 2006 15:26 | Cursed |
| Brilliant as always, my dear. Hate those ciggarettes, but you know that, and I'm curious about both that nauseus feeling and the need to disguise himself. The originaing in Albania has Voldemort written all over it. Curiouser and curiouser. I still think I know who he is though |
| Saturday 25th February 2006 07:21 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Heya melindaleo,
Thank you and I know you hate those cigarettes. Don't worry you know Molly will lecture him if she gets the chance.
And I know you know who he is, bless you But you had a hint. It will all become clear, but it's going to get a bit muddier first.
Now if you'll excuse me I need to get Bill and Hermione into action ^_^
talk to you, well I'm talking to you now actually, but I'll talk to you again soon
Myth xx
|
Stephanie
Friday 24th February 2006 14:43 | Cursed |
No! An evil cliffie! I can only bear it if this means that we'll get some answers (regarding Marlows identity and Harry's whereabouts) in the next chapter .
Fenlings Brew - is that a pun on Fehlings solution (which can be used to prove that there's glucose in something)? I liked the idea of that drink, anyway. However, doesn't drinking it automatically make you a criminal? I bet it's what in Moody's flask .
So Marlow isn't Tonks. Okay, I didn't really think so anyway. But I really want to know who it is! Why did he feel nauseous actually? Because he was sick of the thought of what he had done? Because he was afraid that they might be on to him? Or because he hadn't committed those crimes at all?
Oops, I almost forgot to say that I enjoyed reading this . This is a real 'page-turner' (maybe 'page-scroller' is better ) .
I'm looking forward to next Friday . Do you know how many chapters there will be? |
| Saturday 25th February 2006 07:19 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi Stephanie!
My apologies for the evil cliffie. You'll get a bit more of back-story, but not much. Marlow's identity and what happened to Harry won't be revealed for a while yet.
As for Fenlings, yes, you're right it is a pun on Fehlings solution. It changes colour in the presence of sugar. I just took that premise a bit further.
The nausea was aprtly to do with fear of discovery, and because his reputation is somewaht inflated. You'll find out about it soon
I'm really glad you're enjoying it so much. It's probably going to be a long story, similar to things I've written previously. Somewhere between 20 and 30 chapters.
Until next friday!
Myth xx |
harryheartsbeeve
Friday 24th February 2006 13:59 | Cursed |
I don't know what it is about this tory...but I'm hooked. I've kinda been waiting for him to get caught for awhile....
I'm curious to see where you're going with this...but anyway.
Great job |
harryheartsbeeve
Friday 24th February 2006 13:59 | Cursed |
I don't know what it is about this tory...but I'm hooked. I've kinda been waiting for him to get caught for awhile....
I'm curious to see where you're going with this...but anyway.
Great job |
| Saturday 25th February 2006 07:13 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hi Harryheartsbeeve,
Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying iy. He will get caught, eventually, and that's when it'll start to get really interesting.
I hope you continue to enjoy it!
Myth xx |
aschowin
Friday 24th February 2006 13:51 | Cursed |
| Cool chapter. Now that we have a little more backstory, I'm really questioning who Marlow is, and who he's working for. It sounds like his conscience is going to catch up to him and play a bit of a role in this story. Good job. |
| Saturday 25th February 2006 07:00 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Aschowin,
The abck-story will be fed out int little bits, but you should be getting a smidge more in hte next chapter. You're definately right about his conscience though.
Thank you, and I look forward to your thoughts on the next chapter.
Myth xx |
Antonia East
Friday 24th February 2006 13:27 | Cursed |
Marlow nursed a second packet of cigarettes. That boy's going to have some serious lung problems. That said, the idea of nursing cigarettes made me laugh.
I love the light and dark contrasts you've got here - the cheery fire and the clamour of the pub against the shadows and cold wall. Even the brightness of Ron and Tonks's hair. It makes sense that the night's less dangerous for Marlow. His level of magic discovery is great - again it's nice and precise, which really compliments the way you write.
‘Yeah, well. If you try and flog me anything else to pay off your bar tab I’ll break your knee caps,’ Tom said amicably, I love your sense of humour.
Nice scene with Tonks and Dung. ‘If he never leaves any witnesses,’ Tom said as he polished the bar, ‘how did the bloke in the cell know about it?’ - I'm assuming you've watched Pirates of the Caribbean?
So, comes from Albania, does he? That's odd.
And you left us on a cliff-hanger. That's just mean. Although I sort of do hope it's Ron who's caught up with him. |
| Saturday 25th February 2006 06:57 | Cursed (Author Response) |
Hey Antonia,
Poor boy will be getting some "thou shalt not smoke" lectures later on, but I saw him as a heavier smoker than a drinker. They're one of his many vices. Bless 'im.
I've worked out that scientific explanation makes it very believable. Unfortunately it's leading to a lot of bablle about how stuff works. i'm glad it's coming across well, rather than distracting from the story.
Aww Tom. I just want to hug him. he's just that kind of barkeep! He wouldn't WANT to hurt 'Dung, and he'll be nice and apologietic about it, but if push came to shove I think he could get his point across.
PotC has a lot to answer for, but it *is* a good point. If no one survives, where do the witnesses come from.
And Albania ties into this big-time.
Alas this time it's not Ron who's got him, but just you wait. They'll have a face-off soon enough.
Myth xx |
