AskTina
Saturday 18th July 2009 07:49 | Something More |
| awwwwww sweet ending |
gymnastgal19
Thursday 21st August 2008 14:43 | Something More |
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GryffindorDragon
Wednesday 6th December 2006 10:54 | Something More |
'Wonders why it feels as though he just lost a Quidditch game or chess match, and a million times worse.' -- Very good; that, I think, is how Ron would think .
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lacyrachil
Tuesday 5th December 2006 12:22 | Something More |
| Wow, wow, wow. I fully expect something like this to happen in book 7. |
Neli P
Saturday 16th September 2006 23:30 | Something More |
| Awwww ! You know what I can see in my Mirror of Erised right now?? That this cute, fuzzy, lovely excerpt is a "teaser" of Book 7 ... Great Job! I loved it ... |
Felix Felicis
Saturday 16th September 2006 06:10 | Something More |
Something more... hmm, I like it. I like the different perspective you took with this Ron/Hermione getting-together story. You write their emotions very well, not that Ron has ever been good at hiding emotion but you wrote Hermione very well, too.
My only concern is this: it was a little hard to place this story in time. Giving some sort of indication of when this is taking place allows you to take advantage of what we, the readers, know of the characters at that point in time. It's a very efficient way of adding background story without actually having to write it. For example, if this were in first year it wouldn't make any sense. If it was at the end of sixth year it would make perfect sense, plus you get the advantage of all the background story from canon to back you up. We know their relationship is on the verge of something around that time, and this might be the perfect tipping point.
Anyway, good little story. Good writing style, good plot, nice perspective. Outstanding emotion and acute perception of their depth of feeling. |
| Saturday 16th September 2006 10:59 | Something More (Author Response) |
Thank you so much for reviewing. I can understand how it can be confusing considering it doesn't have a specific time; however, I did this on purpose. I didn't want to give a specific indication of when it takes place. I feel that it gives the reader more control of the story as it allows them to place it in a time that feels most fitting to them.
Again, thank you so much. I definitely enjoy constructive criticism and I'm glad you liked it. |
critmo
Friday 15th September 2006 08:30 | Something More |
| Nice idea, if I may say so. |
| Saturday 16th September 2006 11:00 | Something More (Author Response) |
| Thank you so very much. |
LisaQT3
Thursday 14th September 2006 09:21 | Something More |
| Very nice story. I enjoyed it a lot. Plus I thought you wrote both Ron and Hermione very well. I can see them having a conversation like this. |
| Saturday 16th September 2006 11:10 | Something More (Author Response) |
| Thank you so much. I'm so glad you liked it. |
Evelyn
Thursday 14th September 2006 03:06 | Something More |
Oh... That was just wonderful. In fact, it was the old, old story of Ron and Hermione fighting, and then kissing to make up, but you turned it into something new. Wonderfully done.
I especially loved this part: Why was he there? He was there to say he was sorry. He had told her that but that didn't seem to be the answer she was looking for. So what did she want? What did she mean?
That's a really good observation of life... Happens so often that people ask something and want a completely different answer.
Well done, indeed. |
| Saturday 16th September 2006 11:09 | Something More (Author Response) |
| Thank you so very much. I love that part of the story too. So often I have seen people doing just that: asking a question and expecting a more personal answer. I'm afraid that I'm guilty of doing it too. *laughs* Again, thank you so much for reviewing. I'm glad you liked it. |
Mira Miracle
Wednesday 13th September 2006 15:45 | Something More |
Oh, this is beautiful! You've done Hermione with her growing disappointment very well. Slowly, she must get frustrated by Ron doing nothing concerning their relationship. It's interesting to read this from Ron's perpective.
I'm glad he finally understood what all that was about! Great story - + forever! |
| Saturday 16th September 2006 11:05 | Something More (Author Response) |
| Thank you so very much. I'm so glad you liked it. It was definitely different writing from Ron's perspective, but I had fun doing it. |
