mpleahy3
Thursday 1st February 2007 09:21 | The Early Years |
| I like the reviews and am impressed by the writing. |
| Friday 2nd February 2007 04:37 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
| I agree with you about the quality of the reviews. All seven chapters and an Epilogue are in the hands of my excellent Beta now, so there are four more segments to be posted about a week apart. |
Trelawney2213
Tuesday 30th January 2007 18:16 | The Early Years |
He was loved, and will be loved again.
And that is what gives us all hope. The love these women have for their children is heartwarming and your portrayal of them is very touching. |
| Tuesday 30th January 2007 20:53 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
Thank you for reinforcing my feelings so well. How the terribly mistreated Harry Potter became such a reasonably normal teen and young man is never really explained in the books. He must have soaked up all the love from his parents and their friends to sustain him for the lonely years with no affection.
His comments to Ginny in HBP about their weeks together being like someone else's life haunt me. |
lantis222
Tuesday 30th January 2007 09:16 | The Early Years |
| Harry and Ginny sitting in a tree... You did a wonderful job! I just love this story. I'm so sad that that was the last time Lily and Molly will get to see eachother before... Good job I can't wait until the next update! |
| Tuesday 30th January 2007 10:39 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
Thank you for writing a review. Molly and Lily would like nothing better than to have their children grow to love each other. But you and I know what lies ahead.
I just had the final three chapters Brit picked and gone over by several pre-Betas. They are with my very excellent Beta now and should be on line about a week apart.
I hope to finish the story of Ginny's last year of home schooling in the next six weeks. I'm having too much fun with J K Rowling's characters. |
hwimsey
Monday 29th January 2007 22:41 | The Early Years |
Okay -- I'm crying -- you're getting me to cry.
This was beautiful -- as were the other chapters -- but the interaction of the women and the children was so touching.
Favorite lines:
"It's never too early for you to start learning about Days of Destiny." Molly put her feet up and adjusted her blouse so Ginevra could begin nursing. "Olga just told Rodrigo that Fiona is unfaithful. But she is lying to him. Don't believe that hussy, Rodrigo!"
LOL -- I could just picture her!
They vanished in a puff of green smoke. -- Excellent foreshadowing even though I know that's what the smoke is suppossed to look like.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
h.
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| Monday 29th January 2007 23:19 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
Would you believe I was in the middle of reading your excellent and scary description of the Moonglow plant (or colony) when my computer alerted me to your delightful review. I laughed at the contrast between your marvelous suspenseful chapter and my baby fluff.
I'm glad you could feel their friendship and love for their children that Molly and Lily show in everything they do. I see these normal times before the horror that ends the Potters' lives and changes everything for Harry as what gives him the strength to survive. He was loved, and will be loved again. |
CraftyMomChick
Sunday 28th January 2007 15:21 | The Early Years |
| Very sweet and a bit sad. I liked Harry kissing Ginny on the forehead, such a cute scene. |
| Sunday 28th January 2007 16:13 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
I agree with you. This chapter is a look at what might have been. Therefore is is sweet but with premonitions of what is to come. Harry gets a little preview of the weeks he spends with Ginny in the Half Blood Prince here and in the next couple of chapters.
Thank you for reading and reviewing. |
No Idea Why I Smile
Sunday 28th January 2007 09:56 | The Early Years |
omg...i feel like im going to cry...
its sweet, and so sad at the same time...you know?
your story raises the question, however, did molly know who harry was when she helped him onto the platform? cause surely she would have recognized him cause he looks so much like james...
and the Ginny and Harry part was cute...really cute...
i think it would be really sweet to show, when they are older of course, show Harry finding the Unicorn or something, and Ginny saying it was a gift from him or something along those lines...
and way before she was wearing Harry's clothes... that is cute, really cute...
and omg...i will probably cry in the chapter that has 31 October 1981 in it...
i hope you update soon...i still really like it...its good, honestly...
~*NIWIS*~ |
| Sunday 28th January 2007 10:17 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
Thank you for being so enthusiastic about The Early Years. A story with babies and toddlers and all that being around them entails isn't very common at Phoenix Song. All seven chapters plus the Epilogue are finished.
You are correct- the bad times are coming. I do provide an explanation for Molly's behavior at King's Cross but you will have to keep reading. It is near the end of Chapter 6, so it will be posted in just two weeks. |
Bronte
Sunday 28th January 2007 05:49 | The Early Years |
Hi,
I'm enjoying the story. However I find the language stilted. All the speech is grammatically correct, but too formal. Try substituting I'll and we'll for I will and we will. Contractions are a part of everyday speech and will give the dialogue a much more natural feeling.
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| Sunday 28th January 2007 06:26 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
Thank you for taking time to review. I'l try to be more informal but it doesn't caome naturally. This is literally the first piece of fiction I have written. I've done nothing but technical writing for many many years so dialogue and plot are a WIP.
Keep reading, I'm bound to get better at it. |
Kokopelli
Sunday 28th January 2007 04:30 | The Early Years |
Lovely story - interesting premise.
Near the end, you've got Lily spelled with three l's, when she opens the Floo.
Keep writing, I'll keep reading.
J |
| Sunday 28th January 2007 06:07 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
John, I am honored that you took time to read and write a review to my extended missing moment or missing 24 hours. I'm KateHC at your site, so you know how much I enjoy your wonderfully crafted tales.
The "double l Lilly" proves again that spell checks and two pair of eyes may not catch everything. |
