dailyprophetreporting
Monday 7th January 2008 05:17 | The Essence Divided |
Now I'm more than duly impressed. You got a great a ton right, right down to the tent. Making the Ministry a threat makes things a lot more complicated, and is starting to give this the same sense of isolated hopelessness that pervaded DH. So, spot on. You obviously had Jo figured out pretty well.
On the other hand, Fawkes turning up was an interesting twist. A relationship with Dumbledore. ... Alberforth? Moody? I'm curious to see where you take us next.
-KC
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rdprice29
Saturday 14th July 2007 18:43 | The Essence Divided |
Oooh, the plot thickens! that ministry that's such a pain in Harry's side.
Great chapter, I loved it! |
hedwig5221
Friday 15th June 2007 08:54 | The Essence Divided |
I'm enjoying this story and like where you are going with it...duh, like I know where you are going? LOL...anyway, it's good...interesting...so glad to see Fawkes again. Harry can trust him and that is good for the Trio.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
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DebbieO
Wednesday 13th June 2007 12:46 | The Essence Divided |
| This is a great beginning. I look forward to the rest. I particularly enjoyed the Amy and Dennis twist. Very interesting to have them married and her so aware. |
eye_no_ball
Wednesday 13th June 2007 08:09 | The Essence Divided |
nice work so far! to start and end a fic in a little over 2 months before the next book comes out? good luck, dear boy! its going inthe right direction, i guess...
hmm... sender in question... he wouldn't happen to be associated with goats, would he? XD |
nerd2006
Tuesday 12th June 2007 17:38 | The Essence Divided |
| This is a really great, original story. I can't wait to see what you do with it. Do you plan to be finished before DH comes out? |
| Wednesday 13th June 2007 05:57 | The Essence Divided (Author Response) |
| Thanks! And yes, that's the plan. With luck, I hope to finish up around the time that OotP hits the cinemas, which is a week or so beforehand. If not, then I'll be burning the midnight oil to get it all written |
ravenclawchaser66
Tuesday 12th June 2007 14:18 | The Essence Divided |
I like this so far. The ministry really ought to have better things to do than to harrass Harry. They never learn, do they? Anyway, great chapter-keep up the good work!
Jay |
| Wednesday 13th June 2007 05:54 | The Essence Divided (Author Response) |
Thanks for the review - I'll do my best!
And as for the Ministry... Scrimgeour is quite shameless. |
Grandma Kate
Tuesday 12th June 2007 11:24 | The Essence Divided |
Excellent. Harry's caution with Bill was quite a good imitation of Mad Eye Moody.
Poor Hermione! Needing to be bandaged up is bad enough without being teased about looking pregnant. |
| Wednesday 13th June 2007 05:54 | The Essence Divided (Author Response) |
| Poor Hermione indeed - she does seem to be taking the brunt of it, doesn't she? I'll have to do something about that, I think. |
Wolf's Scream
Tuesday 12th June 2007 11:13 | The Essence Divided |
Good. A few comments:
* Harry's use of challenge/response questions (the first time Bill came out) was excellent in principle, but perhaps a bit overdone (what would he use for questions for the next time?) and rather one-sided (why wouldn't Bill need to be assured that the green-eyed guy with the glasses & messy black hair was really Harry?). Speaking of which, I didn't notice similar challenges for Bill's second appearance; that seemed a tad inconsistent. (For that matter, challenging Bill while he was on the other side of the Floo connection might have made sense, as well.) [I'm fairly sympathetic toward a degree of paranoia from Harry's perspective: I'm a sysadmin by profession, and I'm acutely aware that just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.]
* The notion that DEs sponsored the publication of the book as a form of disinformation is interesting. It seems slightly more devious than the usual DE approach, but it definitely has possibilities. :-}
* Seems that Hermione's getting the brunt of being on the wrong end of target practice, there. Seems that it would only be fair for one of her companions to "take the hit" one of these times. (A short discussion of that point among the three of them might not be out of place.)
* The Trio might want to consider using Glamours or the like as a rule when going out in public.
* I wonder if the Fidelius charm could be placed on a magical tent?
* The notion that the anonymous note-sender (via Fawkes) referred to "the Dark Lord" is somewhat unsettling; I suppose we'll find out more about that soonish.
* The comment about Hermione being teased about looking pregnant (& her counter-threat) was amusing. (The was a small typo there, though: "a fit thicker around the middle" should probably read "a bit thicker around the middle.") Heh -- thought just occurred to me that had she been feeling more nearly up to par, Hermione might have rather archly pointed out that it would be rather obvious to Molly that Hermione wasn't pregnant, as there were certain other physiological changes associated with that condition --as Molly assuredly knows -- that she wasn't exhibiting. If Ron ever caught on to what she was talking about, I expect he'd be blushing for at least hallf an hour.... :-}
Well done. :-) |
| Wednesday 13th June 2007 05:53 | The Essence Divided (Author Response) |
Hey, thanks for the detailed comments.
* Harry was badly panicked by Hermione's injury - he knows that he needs her to get through the challenges ahead, and he still has a hint of male overprotectiveness about him. He's also worried because he failed her - at least in his own mind. So he's overcompensating. Rest assured that Bill would have checked that Harry was Harry during the Floo call
* The DEs are devious at times. Ons shouldn't assume that they're just all about the Avada Kedavra - they like money as well...
* Hermione, Ron and Harry will be having that very discussion in a future chapter.
* All three have come up with ways of disguising their apeparances - but they don't always use them. In a busy place, however, they generally would do.
* I suspect the Fidelius works on a place rather than a thing - in any case, they're moving around so much that they're probably safe enough...
* Ah, good... I'm glad someone caught that. The note-sender is someone with, well, shall we say eccentric tendencies.
* I'm not touching that with a long stick
Thanks for the review! |
reenee
Tuesday 12th June 2007 09:01 | The Essence Divided |
nice. poor hermione,or should i say poor ron??
actually you are being very mean ,keeping ginny away from harry...you should know better |
| Tuesday 12th June 2007 10:14 | The Essence Divided (Author Response) |
Poor everyone, in fact - there's some bad times ahead for all three!
And it's Harry's choice - not mine I'm just the author... |
Narumi
Tuesday 12th June 2007 07:41 | The Essence Divided |
| I'm loving this story! I've been dying for a good action story for ages, and all I can ever seem to find is a 'hunt for the horcruxes' that winds up being nothing but angst over h/g. THIS IS BRILLIANT! Keep up the great work! |
| Tuesday 12th June 2007 10:12 | The Essence Divided (Author Response) |
| I'll try and keep the angst to a minimum - not least because I'm really no good at writing it. As for action, it'll be there a good deal. How do dragons grab you? |
Melindaleo
Tuesday 12th June 2007 06:28 | The Essence Divided |
| Hmm, my guess is that we'll be seeing Aberforth in the next chapter? I'm so glad to see Fawkes again. I'm glad to see you playing up Hermione's poor Defense skills, too. So far, I think she's proved more of a liability than an asset in this search. I'll be intrigued to see if Harry can use one of those withdrawing spells to get the bit of soul out of the Horcrux. |
| Tuesday 12th June 2007 10:09 | The Essence Divided (Author Response) |
Aberforth? Nope - at least, not yet. I do love Fawkes, and he'll almost certainly return - especially as there's going to be some toing and froing along the way. And hey, phoenix tears are usueful for healing...
And Hermione is book smart - but so often in the books it's shown that this doesn't necessarily mean she's a great fighter. She even admits as much in PS/SS. Still, she has her strengths, and won''t be an overall liability for long.
And yes - a withdrawal spell will prove to be very important in destroying a Horcrux... |
