TangoCharlie
Wednesday 24th September 2008 23:30 | Summer Story |
Again, I think you've shown the progressing Harry/Dudley relationship in a very realistic way - all the more so having now seen the 'setbacks' in this development.
I like the scene in the park a lot. it had a very real and raw feel to it, but was still really easy to read : ) |
| Thursday 25th September 2008 00:10 | Summer Story (Author Response) |
With this chapter, I took the attitude "two steps forward, one step back," making it as realistic as I could; too much advancement in the Harry/Dudley relationship wouldn't seem believeable because Dudley is not prone to being nice to Harry.
Thanks for reviewing. |
bookish327
Saturday 13th October 2007 18:33 | Summer Story |
I felt a little bad for Dudley that he doesn't have any friends at school. At time, Harry has the reverse problem, rarely getting a moment to himself at Hogwarts. I know Dudley is no hero, but he's gotten a lot better. He saved Harry's wand from getting broken and passed it to Tonks. (Which makes one wonder, how did Dudley know where Tonks was, if she was under the Invisibility Cloak? And how did he know she was a "minder" and not one of the "bad guys"?)
Well, Dudley's becoming a slightly better person, little by little. Considering how he used to be, he's gotten a lot better, and I hope he'll continue to improve.
I wonder why Petunia gave Harry such a "Dudley-sized" breakfast. Also, what was in the letter she received? I guess we'll find out later.
That was a very involving chapter. You wrote it so well that, despite being distracted by a number of sights and sounds in this room, I was completely in the world you created. I didn't even notice these distractions until I was done with the chapter, which made me realize how deeply I was wrapped up in this world. Great job! |
| Monday 15th October 2007 07:14 | Summer Story (Author Response) |
To answer your questions about Dudley and Tonks, as soon as Tonks was summoned by Mrs Figg she Apparated to the park under the Invisibility Cloak. She had to throw it off in order to tend to Harry, so by the time Dudley recovered Harry’s wand she was visible. Even if he didn’t know exactly who she was, there is a certain posture and various gestures that signaled to him that Tonks was “friend”, not “foe”. (The next time you watch a televised sporting even where the players get injured, watch the medical personnel; they bend towards the head of the injured person, use their hands in ways that indicate they’re trying to help, etc.) Dudley has observed and experienced the help of his boxing team’s doctor enough to know what to look for; he recognized that Tonks was helping Harry, not hurting him. That is why he knew to take the wand to her.
As for Petunia, the letter she received was from Madam Pomfrey checking up on Harry’s care. His “Dudley-sized” breakfast was Petunia's way of showing she was complying with Madam Pomfrey's requests and at the same time I wanted to create a contrast to other summers when Harry only received the small half of a grapefruit! (Remember that from GoF?) Harry needs good nutrition to heal properly, so that’s why he was given such a big meal.
I’m really glad you think my story is good enough to get lost in it!
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Lindaleeann
Sunday 7th October 2007 19:38 | Summer Story |
| I'm intrigued by the story thus far. It's nice to see Dudley growing up with all his awkwardness and unsureness as he finds himself and begins to think about who he has been and what he has done in his life to this point. It's not easy to turn from familiar paths even when they are going down the wrong road as his have been. |
| Sunday 7th October 2007 21:40 | Summer Story (Author Response) |
| When I was writing Dudley's part of this chapter I thought back to what it was like to be his age with all the awkwardness and the pressure to be different things for different people. I thought about the fact that Dudley was now spending a lot of time away from his parents and that he might even be able to see how closed-minded they were. I also remember how I didn't want to be like some of the people I had grown up with and added that dimension to Dudley's inner termoil. I'm glad all of this came across in this chapter. Thanks for the nice review. |
pyromain
Saturday 6th October 2007 15:16 | Summer Story |
| This is reall good Dudley finnaly getting things right. I think he is a good coach for harry. |
| Saturday 6th October 2007 22:48 | Summer Story (Author Response) |
| I'm glad you like my Dudley. As I've been telling my other reviewers, I think Dudley is maturing a little and because he is away from his parents so much during the year at Smeltings, he may just be open-minded enough now to consider not paroting their opinions verbatim. He's found a way to interact in a positive way with Harry for the first time in their lives and I think this is good for both boys. Thanks for your review. |
J.R. Lewis
Friday 28th September 2007 21:31 | Summer Story |
| Good chapter. Keep them coming. |
| Saturday 29th September 2007 17:44 | Summer Story (Author Response) |
| I'm really glad you liked it, and yes, I will keep them coming. Right now I am working on Chapter 7. I look forward to your next review. |
GhostWriter
Friday 28th September 2007 10:50 | Summer Story |
Arnel!
This is absolutely fantastic! I really like the re-writes you did on this. It makes it even more believeable. Well done. Thanks for the hours of enjoyment you've given all of us with your stories. |
| Saturday 29th September 2007 17:46 | Summer Story (Author Response) |
You're welcome, George! I meant every word I said in my author's note about how helpful you are. Your in-put always helps make my chapters better.
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Grandma Kate
Friday 28th September 2007 10:08 | Summer Story |
Oh, Arnel! This is turning out so well. I am beginning to be fond of Dudley. His parents have never guided him or taught him how to relate to others. It's a wonder that he is beginning to realize that
"That's the difference between you and me; you have friends, I--I don't.
And my heart broke at the ending. Harry has had to do too much of it.Turning towards the wall, Harry closed his eyes and shut out the world. |
| Saturday 29th September 2007 17:52 | Summer Story (Author Response) |
I'm so glad you like my Dudley. Like Harry, Dudley is maturing even though it took a Dementor attack to jolt Dudley into thinking for himself rather than just paroting his parents. He's also spending a lot of time during the school year with people who are more accepting of other's differences and some of that attitude--in theory--should rub off on him. That's what I've tried to show.
It was not my intention to make you sad at the end, but after an attack such as Harry sustained, he's bound to be feeling somewhat tired, abused and alone.
Thank you for your review. |
Melindaleo
Friday 28th September 2007 09:07 | Summer Story |
| Poor Harry. I don't know why this chapter made me so sad, but it did. He's so very alone. I often wonder about the "Harry-hunting" in canon. For ten long years, there was no minder there to ever stop it. It's just not fair. |
| Saturday 29th September 2007 17:59 | Summer Story (Author Response) |
Melinda, it was not my intention to make my readers feel sad in this chapter. There are so many positive aspects to it including the improving relationship between Harry and Dudley.
I, too, have often wondered about the "Harry-hunting" episodes in Book 1. I remember being the third grade girl all the fifth grade boys loved to scare because I hated having balls thrown at me and all it took was a shouted, "Think fast!" and I'd be running for cover or cowering on the spot waiting for the ball to be thrown at me rather hard. Kids can be so cruel sometimes. And I do agree, any sort of teasing of the kind--whether it be with balls or fists--is just not fair.
Thanks for reviewing. I appreciate your thoughts. |
